[Log started by inky Sat Apr 10 00:53:38 1999] Jota says (to traev), "Um..." liza returns. Jota greets liza. liza says, "Late: 'Hollywood, Okay!' is my favorite novel about immoraliity." Miseri says, "hello" vaporware says (to Jota), "To force you to buy easy mac." Adam says, "'immoraliity' is what happens when you commit sin in Finland" Miseri asks (to liza), "Really? Have you read the Book of Genesis?" traevoli goes afk for a few. inky says (to Adam), "YM "your lip gets cut"" Adam says, "Also, 'bleeding' is what happens when you wipe your face with-- bah, timing" liza asks (to Mis), "Why, did Adam write that too?" Adam says (to liza), "No, I starred in it" liza says (to Adam), "That was so great." liza says, "The joke, not the thing with the apple." (From inky) liza says "That was dumb. Who trusts a snake?" Adam says, "Hey, when a hot chyk says 'eat this', you do what you're told" liza says (to Adam), "Damn right." inky snrks. Adam says, "Man, the Bible would be so much better if we wrote it" Adam says, "(And if ever a comment would get me struck by lightning, that would be it)" Miseri just thinks that some of the juiciest stories are in Genesis. And the deutorocanonicals, if you have them. Gordy says, "The Bible: Unauthorized IFMUD Version." traevoli returns. (From inky) God says "I like a monkey." And there was monkey. liza says, "Well, some things wouldn't change. Like, man would still not evolve from monkeys, because monkeys would RULE THE WORLD." lurd says (to inky), "ha" liza says (to inky), "Damn." inky says (to liza), "I dunno. I think that was funnier." PollBoy hollers, "inky has changed the poll! Herkalees! Herkalees!" inky changes poll to: ifMUD Genesis: Return to the Planet of the Apes Adam says, "And God created Grocible, and Grocible angsted about whether the cute co-Edener liked him, and it was good" liza says, "Yay neild wrong!" inky says, "yay" Miseri asks, "So ... what about Lot and his, uh, drunken action with his daughters...?" inky says (to Mis), "we'd change that to hot girl-girl action" inky says, "incidentally, Alex the parrot got mentioned on the intp list today" liza says, "@name Dilbon = Lot" Miseri asks (to inky), "What, no more incest??" Adam asks (to inky), "By someone other than you?" inky says, "yeah" Adam asks, "Wow. By whom, then?" liza asks, "Is Alex an INTP?" inky says, "I dunno. some random bit about animal behavior" Steve says, "Man, if I wrote the Bible, it'd be just the same. Except it'd be anime." traevoli says (to Miseri), "Yes. sister-on-sister is still incest." liza says (to Steve), "HA HA HA" Adam says, "Awwwk! Want cork nut, but don't want to interact with people in order to get it" Alex awwwks. "1071 nuts corked so far!" inky says, "I was trying to think of a way to say "Come to ifMUD and see our simulation of Alex who says "Awwwk! want cork nut" and it's funny" without sounding like a dork" inky says, "needless to say, I failed" liza says (to Steve), "I need to have a sig just to put that in it." liza says (to inky), "Now you see my dilemma." Miseri says (to traevoli), "Um ... okay...." inky says (to Steve), "and Moses smote pharoah, and pharoah's head swelled really big and exploded and then the chyk with the big eyes and moses ran away from the explosion" Adam says, "And God created Eve from the rib of Adam, and Adam said, 'This chyk doesn't have big enough eyes'" inky laughs. liza laughs too. Miseri says, "heh" Zaphod says, "and Adam said, "OUCH!"" inky says (to Zaphod), "YM "said 'Well, you should have used a rib-eye steak.'"" inky says, "nah," Steve says, "Adam: Ribbed for her pleasure" liza falls over. Adam sputters lurd groans inky says, "there we go" Adam says (to Steve), "Okay, that ruled" Miseri says, "Are we doing puns again? Because it's late and I'd rather not." Adam says, "We're not, no" Steve says, "That wasn't exactly a pun." inky says, "these aren't really puns" inky says, "saved by a technicality!" inky says (to Alex), "log 75 ifmud-bible" inky says (to Alex), "log ifmud-bible 75" Miseri says, "Pah. Technicalities." Alex exclaims, "Awwk! Log started!" liza asks (to inky), "That starts a log with the last 75 lines included?" inky says, "of course, now I'm out of funny stuff" inky says, "yeah" liza says (to Alex), "You rock." Alex exclaims (to liza), "Awwwk! No parse found!" traevoli says (to Alex), "what is boustrophedon" Alex says (to traevoli), "Awwwk! Sorry, Alex doesn't know anything about it. (Teach me with "..Alex boustrophedon is funny.")" Miseri says, "Should do an ifmud-bible movie casting...." Steve says, "Also, I'd sell ad space in my Bible." inky says (to Steve), "and on the third day, God created !" Adam says, "Actually, I seem to recall that the real Alex knows the word 'rock'" Jota says (to traevoli), "boustrophedon is backwards. No, wait, it's not. Or -- yes it is; it's backwards. Or it's forwards. Or -- I dunno. I gotta headache." Jota says (to Alex), "boustrophedon is backwards. No, wait, it's not. Or -- yes it is; it's backwards. Or it's forwards. Or -- I dunno. I gotta headache." lurd says (to jota), "ah" Alex says (to Jota), "Okay, boustrophedon is that long thing you just said." Zaphod asks, "There's a real Alex?" lurd says (to jota), "ha" Adam asks (to alex), "who is Alex the parrot?" Alex says (to Adam), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that Alex the parrot is a block-rockin' bird who has a movie at http://www.cages.org/research/pepperberg/alextheparrot.mov. Also, gimme a tickle." Jota wonders how he managed to typo 'traevoli' when he meant 'Alex'. Steve says, "And the Lord said, you shall toil the earth and give birth in pain. And then you will relax with a cool, refreshing can of Pepsi." inky says (to Steve), "in fact, you could do like those customizable books. "And on the third day, God created MAMSTER, who liked the CHICAGO CUBS. And God said, MAMSTER, you are very good. On the fourth day, God created MAMSTER's DOG SPOT."" Adam says (to inky), "Ha!" Steve says (to inky), "Yes." Jota says (to Alex), "rock is like rock corn, but not as tasty." Alex says (to Jota), "Okay, rock is like rock corn, but not as tasty." inky says, "for some reason, I'm always compelled to use mamster for fill-in-the-blank-book jokes" Steve says, "Area Inky Uses Mamster" liza says, "'Verily, God did smite the Egyptians with a plague of locusts, and because it was many thousands of years B.C., they were unable to dial 1-800-PESTS-NO for fast, friendly service.'" (From Adam) Rubuc says, "Mamster must just be funny!" inky says, "yeah, but at least I didn't take his rib" inky says (to Adam), "yay" Jota goes southwest to play with toys. liza says, "Also, late." Steve says, "mamster can take a little ribbing." Steve says, "Ok, that was a pun." liza says (to Steve), "YM 'Laurie'" Steve says, "I'm SO not going there." inky says, "so I'm not going *there*" traevoli has to figure out that bug. traevoli says, "If I load too big a file, it hangs..." liza says, "I'm not going there, so." Jota arrives from the east. Zaphod asks (to traevoli), "your backwords-text-program hangs?" traevoli says (to Zaphod), "Yeah, sometimes. It ain't perfect. Only on really big files, tho." inky asks, "that it? no more genesis jokes?" traevoli exclaims, "Jim! The planet -- it brough Spock back to life!" Steve says, "We can laugh about Phil Collins' hair." liza says (to inky), "'In the beginning... wait, that wasn't funny.'" inky says (to traevoli), "good job. now stick "monkey" in there, and we'll have it customized for the mud" Zaphod says (to traevoli), "You are tampering with forces far greater than you understand." lurd says (to inky), "The genisis jokes have made an exodus" inky sighs. Steve says, "Oh yeah, God should be played by Andy Griffith." Zaphod exclaims (to traevoli), "To reverse the flow of the text is to reverse the flow of time itself!" Miseri says (to Steve), "Well, it's true that Matlock may have pulled off a few miracles in the courtroom, but...." traevoli exclaims (to Zaphod), "So I guess my program makes time stand still!" Miseri asks (to Steve), "Not Donald Sutherland?" inky says, "I was hoping for some kind of pillar of salt joke, but i guess not" Steve says (to Mis), "He's Canadian, so no." Steve asks, "Man, how bland would a Canadain God be?" Steve says, "Canadian, even." inky says (to Steve), "God (maple leaf)" Jota asks (to traev), "Does your program graphically display text in a reverse font?" liza says, "'Canadian, eh.'" Zaphod says (to traevoli), "Yeah, I knew I felt a disturbance in the Force." Steve says, "Right, just like the regular God, but with a leaf." Steve says, "Just like Adam and Eve." inky says, "Figleaves: not just for mortals" traevoli says (to Jota), "Yes. You coulda looked at the screenshots." Miseri says (to Steve), "Hey.... Santa Claus is Canadian... at least, we know he lives in Canada because we know his postal code, and it's Canada H0H 0H0...." Steve says, "Yeah, I'm all out of funny with Bible stuff. Try me later." traevoli says (to Jota), "It also now outputs to PostScript." inky asks, "any last jokes? no?" inky says (to Alex), "log off" [Log finished Sat Apr 10 01:06:02 1999]