[Log started by mamster Wed Nov 3 22:53:00 1999] Alex says (to Lonewolf), "Lately, people have taught me about here, No, Alex, alex, SPC, and Wait, my code states 'Clearly, this." neild says (to Ryan), "Close quote" Ryan says, "Hmm." inky wakes up. Lonewolf says (to alex), "forget that wait, my code states 'clearly, this.'" Alex exclaims (at Lonewolf), "But Alex doesn't know about that wait, Lonewolf's code states 'clearly, this.' yet!" Hugo had thought so, but thought it a coincidence. Lonewolf says (to inky), "fix him." thumper says (to Hugo), "I'm actually in the middle of a Glk port of it. Hopefully with pictures." Hugo says, "Cool." Ryan says (to Alex), "Forget that Wait, your code states 'Clearly, this is true.'" Alex says (to Ryan), "Okay, Wait, my code states 'Clearly, this is not true.'." Ryan says, "That was surreal." Lonewolf says, "It still is." jmac eeagh. inky says, "it's griffin" neild says (to inky), "Thank you." inky says, "the article being at http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~dbs/iufmud/alex-nyt.txt" Duchess says (to lone), "you and ryan broke alex. and now inky has to bail you guys out. tsk tsk" Ryan says (to Duchess), "I fixed him." inky says (to Duchess), "and what's worse is they always want to pay me in corknuts." Alex awwwks. "Want cork nut!" neild asks (of inky), "Does Alex know that URL at all?" Ryan says, "No more parrot-babies from Alex." neild asks (of inky), "Also, is 'iufmud' a typo?" Duchess asks (of inky), "well, would you prefer cashews instead?" inky says (to neild), "er, yes." "The eraser room does two things. It cleans erasers and it takes our innocence." Jearl is in the lounge. Take two, they're small. inky says (to Duchess), "it's having to crack the hard shell with my beak, that's what I object to" Jearl says, "hiya." Hugo says (to Jearl), "Heya." neild says (to Jearl), "Hey" Duchess says (to jearl), "greetings." Duchess asks (of jearl), "aren't you in the city?" Hugo asks, "Is anyone a video-editing ace?" Jearl says (to Duchess), "yeah." lurd says, "hey jearl" neild asks (of Jearl), "Is it gonna snow?" Duchess asks (of inky), "okay, from now on, we will pay you with cracked cork nuts, deal?" Duchess says (to neil), "i just watched the weather. just a lot of rain" Jearl says, "I don't think so--it's pretty dry out. Almost cold enough though." Jearl asks, "when rain?" neild says, "Mmm... crack nuts." Duchess says (to jearl), "tonight and tomorrow" Jearl says, "feh." Duchess asks (of jearl), "why is mariah carey in town?" Jearl says, "because we are at the epicenter of the coming End of Days. Carey's just one of the harbingers." Jearl says, "also I think Z100 sacrifices souls to her or something." Duchess asks (of jearl), "you listen to Z? Do you listen to the Zoo?" Jearl says (to Duchess), "not really--Z100 is one of the stations I flip back and forth on the radio at work." Jearl says (to Duchess), "I hunt around on the dial whenever someone starts talking." neild says (to Duchess), "The monkeys stand for honesty, giraffes are insincere." Duchess asks (of neil), "how about tigers?" neild says (to Duchess), "Don't think it says anything about tigers." lurd says (to duchess), "tigers stand for corn flakes" K has connected to ifMUD. neild says (to Duchess), "Also, the Tigers are kindly but they're dumb, if they think Juan Gonzalez is gonna make them contenders." Duchess says (to lurd), "mmmm grrrrreat" neild asks, "When's comp voting end again?" lurd says, "I think the 15th or 16th" Duchess asks (of neil), "you mean i still have time to vote?" Jearl signed Last Episodes We'd Like to See. Ryan says, "Nov. 16th afaik." K receives odrop #49, but succeeds in entering the lounge nonetheless. Jearl says, "hi K." K says, "Hi." Ender, after showing up and not saying much, leaves. See ya! Ender goes home. PROGRAM HAS DISAPPEARED INTO THE BLACK LAGOON lurd says, "hey K, bye ender" jmac says (to k), "heya" neild signed Last Episodes We'd Like to See. Duchess says (to neil), "i love Seventh Heaven." Jearl asks, "even the twins?" neild says (to Duchess), "I won't hold it against you." Duchess says (to jearl), "i agree with you about angel. That show drives me nuts" neild says (to Jearl), "No, the Twins get a new stadium. And Juan Gonzalez." Lonewolf says, "Yay Twins." Jearl says, "heh." mamster enters the lounge with a skip, a clap, and a kweepa. Lonewolf says, "Also, damned if I'm paying extra sales tax for their stadium." Duchess says (to jearl), "well, i liked the show without the twins, but since they are still too young to really change the show that much..." jmac makes baseball organ music. "Doot doot doot." neild says, "This week's ANgel was okay, I thought. Well, mostly because he wasn't on it much." mamster asks, "Hey, any of you folks heard of The World's Shortest Stories?" Duchess says (to jmac), "there is your monkey bot" Duchess says (to mamster), "hey mam" neild exclaims (at mamster), "Yes. Bye!" mamster says (to neild), "Bye!" jmac says (to mamster), "Hello, my monkey bot." lurd says, "hey mamster" Jearl says, "hi mamster." neild asks (of mamster), "Oh, that wasn't one of them?" Duchess giggles mamster says (to neild), "Oh, it is now." mamster says, "Anyway, I just tried to write one and it was kind of fun." mamster says, "The idea is that you write an entire short story in 55 words or less." neild says, "Also, the World's Shortest Story is my favorite name for that thing they built on top of Eileen's building." Duchess says (to mamster), "what are the guild...never mind" Duchess exclaims (at neil), "ha!" neild asks (of Duchess), "Do you know this story?" neild asks (of mamster), "This an online thing?" Duchess says (to neil), "no. i was just thinking i haven't heard you play the A is my favorite B for a while" mamster says (to neild), "Nah, offline. Kind of like Bulwer-Lytton." mamster says (to neild), "Only more entertaining, at least lately." jmac says, "http://www.wunderland.com has several collections of nanofiction on it. (It's a waycool site besides.)" mamster says, "Here is an example of a World's Shortest Story:" neild says (to Duchess), "In 55 words or less: Eileen's buidling wanted to build extra floors on top, but the law said there had to be two floors of buffer for the existing tenants. So they built two extra stories first, each six inches high." mamster says, "'Hey, Dad, I'm joining a *scavenger* hunt tonight!' ..." mamster says, "'Sounds fun, son.'" mamster says, "'There's a rumor we'll have to find at least one *roadkill*.'" mamster says, "'A roadkill? Gross!'" mamster says, "'So could I borrow the car?'" mamster says, "'...Okay.'" mamster says, "'Dad, it's so nice out this evening, you oughta go for a *walk*!'" mamster says, "'..Hmmm. Think I will. See you later.'" Duchess says (to neil), "hee" mamster says, "'For *sure*!'" mamster says, "They don't have to be all quotes, of course." Duchess exclaims (at mam), "you are skewed!" neild says (to mamster), "That's not a short story. That's Bazooka Joe." mamster says (to Duch), "I didn't write that one." mamster says, "But I did enjoy it." mamster says, "Here is the one I wrote." Duchess says (to mam), "okay, the guy who wrote it is skewed" mamster | Gary knew he was a fine athlete. He cradled the long metal pole in his hands, brooding over his performance at today's event. What went wrong? His approach speed and angle had been perfect. Maybe he'd just tried to go too high. mamster | mamster | At least the safety net caught him when he fell from the tightrope. mamster | mamster | #endpaste Jearl says, "your attention makes you complicit." Jearl says, "us, too, now." mamster says, "Er, the #endpaste isn't one of the words. Thanks." neild accidentally only reads the last sentence, and likes it better that way. dfan says, "And there, on the safety net, was a hook" mamster says, "Then Jewel interrupted him with a passionate defense of unions." WeirdBeard sings, "Ich habe die Blauen; Die Heimwehblauen." Sometimes I do stupid stuff, and I don't even know why...as if my body were controlled by some demented, sadistic puppet-master. Jearl says, "then they let the angry wild pigs out on the stage." Duchess says (to neil), "i did the same thing too and got a bit confused" Hugo says, "Later, all." neild says, "Night Hugo" Hugo lies and says he's off to do work. Hugo goes home. Hugo has disconnected from ifMUD. jmac says (to alex), "Angry Wild Pigs is a bad band name." Alex says (to jmac), "Okay, Angry Wild Pigs is a bad band name." Jearl says, "fair enough." neild says (to alex), "Angry Wild Pigs is the new NHL expansion franchise" Alex says (to neild), "Okay, Angry Wild Pigs is also the new NHL expansion franchise." jmac yay mamster says (to Alex), "angry wild pigs killed my dad" Alex exclaims (at mamster), "Awwwk! No parse found!" mamster says, "Awww." lurd says, "angry wild pigs are a bore." neild exclaims (at lurd), "Boo!" dfan | I don't know why they kicked me out of that restaurant for dfan | inappropriate dress. I was wearing a monkey suit and everything. dfan | dfan | Took me forever to skin the damn things, too. lurd exclaims (at dfan), "yay!" Jearl says, "now the hurting starts." Jearl exclaims, "eek!" mamster says (to dfan), "Yay!" mamster says, "See, fun is had." inky | This story has no monkey in it. inky | inky | Once there was a city with no monkeys. The zoo held lions, tigers, inky | bears and emus, but no monkeys. Later it turned out the humans were inky | monkeys in disguise, and then it turned into a complicated political inky | metaphor. I decided to watch pro wrestling instead. That had monkeys. mamster says, "Although not by monkeys." God is in the individual, and Satan is in the self. I, meanwhile, am here. mamster laughs and laughs. neild exclaims (at inky), "Yay!" Miseri is sitting quietly nearby. You must not have noticed him entering the room. mamster says, "OK, everyone better than me." Miseri says, "'evening, all." lurd exclaims (at inky), "ha ha!" jmac says, "For monkeys, by monkeys(tm)." lurd says, "hey mis" Duchess says, "hey mis" Jearl says, "hi miseri." mamster says, "great, now I have hiccups." Jearl exclaims, "also, ha ha ha!" neild exclaims (at mamster), "Not HICCUPS, HCPA!" inky says (to neild), "you've still got 52 words." neild says (to inky), "Put them on a gift certificate." lurd exclaims (at neild), "ha!!!" Ryan says, "Gyaaaah! Get that expensive sheep off my dirty carpet!" Ryan says, "Er... I mean...." mamster | When Marcia invited me to come over to her house for spaghetti, I thought she wanted to have sex. Turns out she just wanted to serve me spaghetti. But hell, the way I eat spaghetti, it's just as well I didn't wear pants. inky laughs. Jearl cracks up. jmac nyuk. lurd laughs mamster says, "There, now I'm getting it." Miseri says, "heh" lurd laughs some more Alex exclaims, "Awwk! Log started!" Lonewolf says, "wow, found a webpage for a defunct irish trio for which I was a groupie many a year ago." mamster says, "Um, I just started an alex log, but probably someone already did." Duchess says, "now that we know alex is loggin, watch everyone sudden;y stop writing" mamster says, "Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it." Duchess says (to mam), "hee. it's prolly just as well" neild says (to Duchess), "Yeah, before the humor reached DANGEROUS LEVELS." Miseri says (to Lonewolf), "hm. Trying to picture you as a groupie...." Duchess asks (of neil), "it was already getting there, no?" Duchess says (to mis), "don't try. he is the most non-groupie looking guy on earth" neild says, "Okay, I think we're safely out of the red zone. Let the hilarity resume." mamster asks, "What's the name of the room at the police station where everyone was at the beginning of Hill Street Blues?" neild says (to mamster), "startroom" mamster giggles. lurd asks, "briefing room?" mamster says (to lurd), "Good enough." Ryan says, "Bathroom." jmac says, "Susan." Lonewolf says, "Gallowglass Irish Trio. The sound of a generation, but we're not sure which one." Ryan says, "Oh wait, that's ." Duchess asks (of mamster), "i haven't seen it, but the interrogation room?" inky | The Vortex Machine inky | inky | In my dream last night I looked at a weird invention called "The Vortex inky | Machine". When I awoke, I knew I had to build it. I used common household inky | materials and a half-ounce of plutonium. The end product looks like a inky | blender. inky | inky | (Two years later) inky | inky | Why doesn't anyone want my nuclear smoothies? inky says, "that one isn't as good, though." neild says (to Duchess), "No, you're thinking of Win Ben Stein's Money." mamster says, "Not bad, though." mef goes home. "My father was a self-made man in the truest sense of the word. He enucleated an egg cell from a donor, micro-injected a nucleus from one of his own pluripotent stem cells, and implanted it in a pseudopregnant female goat." mamster says (to inky), "In fact, I really like it." Duchess says, "i hate to admit it, but that kid and roadkill was the best so far" mamster laughs. PollBoy hollers, "inky has changed the poll! Insert Generic ifMUD Injoke here!" User On Idle Duchess: "I love the roadkill!" neild says (to Duchess), "That's what Godzilla said." mamster says (to Duch), "I really like that one, but I like dfan's and the spaghetti one better." Duchess asks, "is there a way to see the poll without typing "who"?" Lonewolf says (to Duchess), "Make a new one, and then you'll know what it says without typing who." thumper says (to duchess), "'show poll'" inky | The Tight Pants inky | inky | I know you wanted to save money, but I just don't think boa constrictors inky | make good clothing. mamster giggles. inky says, "ok, that's my last one." Duchess says (to inky), "gee thanks :)" mamster says, "I'm kind of blocked but I'm working on one." Duchess says (to inky), "funny" mamster | I am a hummingbird. Look at my pretty flapping wings and my brightly colored body! Watch me slurp up my weight in nectar! Watch me sting your eyeball! mamster | mamster | Fooled you, huh? I'm a hornet, dumbass. mamster | lurd | When changing the oil in my car the other day I asked my dog to lurd | pass me the rachet. She just barked, and dug a hole. Hey, at least lurd | I have a place to dump the oil. mamster says (to lurd), "YES!" inky laughs. Duchess smiles inky says, "mamster has been seen around lurd's dog with a rachet" Duchess asks (of inky), "what is a rachet?" mamster says, "Your rachet has cachet." mamster says, "OK, I am doubled over in pain from laughing so hard." inky asks, "it's like a wrench, isn't it?" mamster says, "But that's the kind of hornet I am." lurd says, "yes" mamster says (to lurd), "That's my favorite one so far." Duchess says (to mamster), "breathe." mamster says, "Although I'm pretty proud of the spaghetti, which is good, since clearly I'm never going to write another good one." thumper says, "It's a screw driver or wrench which when you turn one way it turns the screw, and when you turn the other way, it does nothing. So you can move it back and forth and either screw on unscrew whatever you're working on." neild says, "Also, it's a ratchet." I may be only 14, and Sit on my computer alot, and like get only B's in school. But I do know one thing. Your very attractive. Do you like dogs? mamster says (to thumper), "Hey, good story." Adam walks into the lounge. Saves on the teleportation charges, and it's good exercise. mamster says, "Welcome distinguished visitors from Sammamish." Jearl says (to Adam), "hey." Miseri says, "hello Adam" Duchess says, "hey adam" lurd says, "hey adam" mamster asks, "Um, how do I tell alex to stop logging?" mamster says, "Assuming we're done, that is." mamster asks, "Anyone working on a masterpiece?" Jearl says, "I got nothing." Adam asks, "Wait, what's going on?" Alex says (to Adam), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that going on is all sorts of stuff. Also, figs." Duchess says (to mamster), "i think we were done with the rachet one" mamster laughs. lurd says, "I'm done" mamster says (to Duchess), "Ha!" Duchess says (to alex), "good buy" Alex exclaims (at Duchess), "Awwwk! No parse found!" inky says, "ok, I know I said last one, but last one" neild exclaims, "I like Alex's story best!" mamster says (to Adam), "We're writing 55-word short stories." Duchess says, "boy i meant" inky | The Pit inky | inky | Yesterday evening I dug a hole in the ground and baited it with some inky | circus peanuts. Today I found a nice crop of clowns in there, all inky | wriggling around and playing their nose squeakers. Then one nailed me in inky | the face with a cream pie, and I was forced to get the firehose. mamster says (to Adam), "Feel free to jump in." Jearl says (to inky), "excellent." lurd exclaims (at inky), "ha!" Duchess says, "love the cream pie" inky says, "also, you stop alex's log with "log off" or "stop log" or something like that." Adam says, "Well, I'm busy cooking, so I'll opt out" Adam says, "In fact, in and out for a bit" It seems to me John Quincy Adams gives you everything John Adams gives you plus a little something extra in the way of Quincy. Steve 3:16 says I JUST STOLE YOUR UNDERPANTS. Miseri says, "hm" Steve says, "Me." Miseri says, "Hello Steve." Jearl says, "hi Steve." lurd asks, "Also, hasn't this beed done before with the best of dilbon?" Miseri says, "I was wondering what it was that you were doing...." lurd says, "been" mamster asks (of Steve), "Any interest in writing a 55-word short story?" [Log finished Wed Nov 3 23:07:58 1999]