Grass on the other side

by Vikram Khuller, B.Tech EE, Class of 1990

posted by Sujit Singh

I was in IITK from 1986 to 1990 in Electrical Engineering. I stayed in Hall I. And now, like countless others from there, I am in USA. I have been here for almost 6 years, and life is good.

Yes, life is good here - there is an abundance of everything - money, cars, ....., gadgets, the list goes on. When I was in IITK, my seniors used to write to me about how beautiful Princeton was, and how expansive San Diego appeared, how magical New York seemed to them. I live in New York now. I still marvel at the natural beauty of United States. I am jealous of their immense natural resources. I adore the change of seasons here - it is so beautiful to see the orange and yellow and red hues of fall, followed by the stark pristine white of winter. The spring heralds in greens of all kinds, vibrant, dew-faced greens. You will hear also about the wonderful infrastructure here, everything is in order and works like a well-oiled cog. You work hard, you earn good money, you buy things that you like, you satisfy your childhood desires.

There is something missing here though, and it is not really definable. Could it be inner peace? The gnawing feeling of loneliness, even though you have a girlfriend, wife, friends? You have parents in India, but you don't live with them after you get married. So what is it that makes you crave for company?

I have often noticed people who live by themselves do things a certain way. They, for example, leave the TV on all the time, and there is music blasting in their place day in and day out. Is it the abundance of electronic devices that makes them less and less social, or is it that one does not get an opportunity to meet people and so one turns to toys of solitude?

When people ask me how come I have read so many books and know so much about things in general, I tell them because in India where I came from, we did not have a nature park, or video games parlor, or a bowling alley, or even a bar, for cryin' out loud. We had no navigable stream or hill to climb. The most feasible source of entertainment was the movie theatre and how often could we keep going there? So, I read in India, I had long winding conversations with my buddies, I went for unending bike rides in IITK, I discussed politics, Hitler and black holes outside the canteen, with frequent calls to Lala for the long-outstanding Maggie-Omlette. Over the hundreds of cups of tea, I came to understand myself and my wants. I also spent a lot of time doing my assignments, preparing for quizzes. I went to the library and gorged any book that caught my fancy. I loved taking part in contests like JAM, Quiz, and debates.

You don't do that much here. It is simply not available, because you have so many other things to do. It is strange, I used to yearn for other means of entertainment in India, now I long for the long unending talks with my IITK chums. The grass is greener on the other...?

I am not trying to paint the life here in a bad light, this country has a lot of good things. India has a gossamer of relationships and a certain kind of empathy, an uncomplicated and unhurried style, and above all, an incomprehensible serenity about it that you can never come close to, here in America. Perhaps this is the beauty of it all, we can have either this or that but not them both.

What would I say to all you people, my juniors? (!). Work hard, be as computer literate as possible, and try to learn "people skills", i.e. be very good with handling people and their personalities. That is something we do not get exposed to much at IIT. Also take care of your health, and try to eat healthy food. I know you will smirk at this and wonder if I had not eaten at the mess! Go to the chungi on bicycle and eat as much "maa ki daal" as you can, you will miss it here.

Whatever you may ultimately end up doing, staying in India, or coming here for a while, or settling down here permanently, remember one thing - you are fortunate to be an Indian and more fortunate since you'll have the IIT experience always in your life, and despite its inherent problems and sloppiness and tardiness of living, India had infused in all of us a colour that is something other than VIBGYOR. We carry a part of our country at every place on earth and we should be proud of it.