Re: Ca'c loa.i "qua' khi'ch"

[AnHai Doan <anhai@cs.washington.edu>]

Hi ca'c ba'c,

To ba'c Giang: Tui no'i "mo^.t so^' ba'c" vi` nghi~ la` co'
i't nha^'t hai ba'c. Ne^'u tui nha^`m thi` co`n co' mo^.t
ba'c. :-)

To ba'c DQ: Na`o ai da'm "ma('ng" ba'c. Tui cu~ng ddo^`ng y'
vo+'i ba'c la` ca^`n improve communication skills. Tuy
nhie^n, tui kho^ng ddo^`ng y' vo+'i ba'c ve^` n~
communication skill advice cu?a ba'c vi` tha^'y no' kho^ng
thu+.c te^' la('m. Ly' do dde^? tha^'y kho^ng thu+.c te^'
mo^.t pha^`n la` vi` tui cu~ng dda~ thu+? thu+.c hie^.n
nhu+ng cu~ng kho^ng ddu+o+.c, ma` tui dda~ thuo^.c loa.i a(n
no'i ba(.m tro+.n ro^`i. :-)

To ba'c Hoa`: DDa'ng ra thi` tui kho^ng tra? lo+`i ba'c vi`
kho^ng hie^?u sao suy lua^.n cu?a ba'c trong chuye^.n na`y
la^~n lo^.n lung tung ca?: ba'c nha^`m chuye^.n na`y sang
chuye^.n kia, ho+n nu+~a ba'c kho^ng suy nghi~ ra ddu+o+.c
kho?i ca'i shell cu?a ba'c (sorry tui chi? no'i ve^`
chuye^.n na`y tho^i nhe'). Tuy nhie^n dda~ vie^'t tra? lo+`i
thi` tra? lo+`i luo^n the^?, nhu+ng dda^y la` message duy
nha^'t tui tra? lo+`i ba'c ve^` chuye^.n na`y.

Ba'c la^~n lo^.n giu+~a hai chuye^.n charity va` security.
DDu+'ng ve^` ddo^. charity chu+a bie^'t chu+`ng tui ho+n
ba'c cu~ng ne^n :-). Nhu+ng kho^ng pha?i lu'c na`o cu~ng
charity ddu+o+.c, dda(.c bie^.t khi security bi. a?nh
hu+o+?ng. DDa^y la` ddoa.n ma` ba'c kho^ng nghi~ ra ddu+o+.c
kho?i ca'i shell cu?a ba'c :-). Ne^'u ba'c la`
middle-class, chi? ga(.p panhandlers tre^n ddu+o+`ng ddi
bo^. tu+` qua'n a(n ra xe thi` he`n na`o cha(?ng tha^'y ho.
dda'ng thu+o+ng, va` tha^'y lo`ng charity no^?i da^.y. :-)  
Ne^'u ba'c la` students thi` ba'c pha?i hie^?u co' n` lu'c
ba'c ga(.p ng` xin tie^`n khi security cu?a ba'c kho^ng
dda?m ba?o. Cha(?ng ha.n 11 gio+` dde^m ddi bo^. tu+` lab
ve^`, ddu+o+`ng pho^' va('ng ve?, ga(.p mo^.t o^ng dden xin
tie^`n ba'c co' muo^'n du+`ng la.i cho kho^ng? Ba'c co'
bie^'t rie^ng ddoa.n ddu+o+`ng U Avenue o+? Seattle, tre^n
ddu+o+`ng to+'i DDa.i Ho.c Washington, co' bao nhie^u
panhandlers kho^ng? Ba'c co' ddu? tie^`n dde^? nga`y na`o
ddi ho.c cu~ng cho tu+`ng a^'y ng` kho^ng? DDo' la` chu+a
no'i dde^'n chuye^.n ta.i sao la.i cho ma^'y tha(`ng cha to
khoe? lu+.c lu+o+~ng na`y ma` kho^ng dde^? tie^`n cho n~ ng`
o+? VN.

La^'y mo^.t chuye^.n trong ca'i shell cu?a mi`nh dde^?
dda'nh gia' n~ chuye^.n kha'c, ro^`i kha'i qua't hoa' le^n
tha`nh "thie^'u lo`ng nha^n, the^m gia? hi`nh". Tui tha^'y
mo+'i chi? co' ba'c la` mo^.t. :-)  La^`n sau ne^'u ba'c
tu+. dda(.t ba?n tha^n ba'c va`o ddi.a vi. mo^.t DHS, va`
chu' tro.ng ho+n nu+~a va`o suy lua^.n logic (chu+' kho^ng
pha?i suy lua^.n purely dictated by emotions) thi` chu'ng ta
se~ ddo+~ ddu+o+.c n` tranh ca~i vo^ bo^?. Ne^'u ba'c kho^ng
tu+. dda(.t ddu+o+.c ba?n tha^n ba'c va`o ddi.a vi. mo^.t
DHS dde^? hie^?u ddu+o+.c n~ va^'n dde^` cu?a ho., thi` i't
ra ba'c cu~ng ne^n de` da(.t ho+n trong ca'ch tranh lua^.n,
tra'nh n~ kha'i qua't hoa' oversweeping, ro^`i ke^'t lua^.n
ba(`ng n~ tu+` xu'c pha.m nhu+ "thie^'u lo`ng nha^n, the^m
gia? hi`nh". La`m nhu+ va^.y co' hay ho gi` dda^u, chi? la`m
tranh lua^.n giu+~a to^i va` ba'c tha`nh non-constructive.

Tu+o+ng tu+. va^.y, chuye^.n ca^?n tha^.n khi ga(.p ng` la.
(du` la` VN) no+i co^ng co^.ng tre^n dda^'t My~ la` chuye^.n
security, kho^ng pha?i la` chuye^.n relationship.

Co`n chuye^.n ba'c tin hay kho^ng tin n~ gi` tui ke^? thi`
kho^ng quan tro.ng. Nhu+ng ca'ch ba'c ddu+a va^'n dde^` ddo'
ra tha^.t kho^ng constructive ti' na`o. Hoa(.c ba'c kho^ng
tin thi` vie^'t thu+ ho?i tui dde^? tui cung ca^'p the^m
so^' lie^.u va` chu+'ng co+', hoa(.c ba'c tin thi` im,
hoa(.c ba'c tha^'y kho^ng ddu? du+~ lie^.u dde^? ke^'t
lua^.n, muo^'n bie^'t the^m, thi` dde^` nghi. tha(?ng nhu+
va^.y. No'i ddu+o+.c gi` tre^n list tui se~ no'i, n~ gi`
kho^ng no'i ddu+o+.c tre^n list vi` ly' do privacy thi` tui
se~ email cho ba'c. Ca^`n gi` ma` ba'c pha?i a(n no'i a^.m
o+`, a'm chi? the^'? :-)

Ha?i.