Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Frankly, I am outraged to see so many 10s for this movie, being that no sane person would ever give such a grade to this unrelentinly boring piece of ... (man, it's quite hard not to use profanity with a movie like this). If people were giving Manos 10s just so that some rival could snatch the #1 worst movie title then that is truly sad. Manos is morally the true winner here in that respect.

Not much can be said that has not been said already about this movie. I would know, since reading the IMDb comments, getting a load of laughs from them and feeling a complete sense of empathy with other poor souls who dared to watch this movie, knowing exactly where they are coming from, is just about the only good thing I have gotten out of MTHOF.

Yes, the movie was an eyeopener. I had no idea how bad movies could be before Manos. Ed Wood movies at least provide laughs and something coherent to look at, even though the realization is shoddy to a humorous magnitude. A so-bad-it's-traumatizing movie is an entirely different league from a so-bad-it's-good movie.

In Manos we basically have: driving; boredom; more driving; more boredom; a feeling of being mentally raped within the first 15 minutes (not many movies can do that, you know!); more driving; some rather purposeless necking; (did I mention the driving?); Torgo, our favorite strange person with deformed knees; a family, in whose creation Darwin's laws of natural selection seem to have been completely ignored, gladly deciding to spend the night in "the master's" house; a touching display of affection through holding hands (or is it?); a bored kid; a dead dog, i think; some melodramatic "hand-waving"; a puzzlingly out-of-the-blue all-out wrestling match amongst the ladies, thoroughly making me question my previous enjoyment in watching such activities; how massaging someone to death would look like and last, but quite least, the absolutely tasteless ending, complete with a subsequent cast introduction to give it a "campy" feel. Oh, humanity.

It is a sheer hilarity people bought into the hype and actually came in doves to see the premiere. The movie poster that advertized MTHOF is just precious.

This stinker is the kind of movie you just can't help but love to hate.

Rating 1/10 (so far only 5 movies have ever received this dubious grade in my book)

Scale:

Positive opinion of a movie: 10 MASTERPIECE, 9 Excellent, 8 Good, 7 OK

Neutral opinion of a movie: 6 Adequate, 5 Average, 4 Mediocre

Negative opinion of a movie: 3 Poor, 2 Bad, 1 HORRIBLE