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May 27, 2003

Love is not a feeling

Stephen Covey says, "in the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling", after relating a story about a couple who no longer have love for each other:

"My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?"
"The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.
"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"
"Love her," I replied.
"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."
"Love her."
"You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there."
"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."
"But how do you love when you don't love?"
"My friend, love is a verb. Love- the feeling- is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her."

A simple test shows that love is a verb, not a feeling:

I love. (this statement is natural...)
I happy.
I sad.
I angry.

...but trying to verb feelings is ackward.

Continuing this exercise, here are some other things that might be mistaken as feelings, but are perhaps otherwise:

I despair.
I pity. (Ayn Rand would love this observation.)
I envy.
I despise.

Perhaps this is a good litmus test to show that your feelings are mostly things that you do to yourself, through your reactions, rather than something that you "have."

Posted by tbailen at 02:58 AM

May 24, 2003

Taste Sensation

Drunk food discovery of the night: onion rings with salsa are awesome. What good combinations have you discovered during a night of imbibing?

Posted by tbailen at 09:54 AM

May 21, 2003

Extreme Competition

My friend, Dan, wrote a hypothesis on why people in extreme sports are not seen depressed or cursing when one of their competitors bests them. Instead, they are often seen cheering for their counterparts. Dan says, "parents never go to the drainage ditch to watch their kid practice his skateboarding and they never brag to their friends about how good he is at it. If anything, the message adults give to kids who are pursuing interests in skateboarding, in-line skating, snowboarding, etc., is that they are wasting their time and should be focused on other activities. Perhaps this lack of parental involvement and encouragement leads to a more relaxed, healthy, and mature attitude toward competition."

I'd like to propose an alternate hypothesis. Perhaps because these activities (when undertaken as an amateur) are not traditional sports, with scores and winners and losers they instill a different ethic of competition. Instead of a traditional "us vs. them" duality that defines most sports, these Extreme Sports have their roots in solo activities. "Me vs. myself" and "me vs. the laws of nature" are the more defining characteristics. As such, it's just as enjoyable for these atheletes to see someone else perform well as it is for them to perform at a high level.

Posted by tbailen at 11:55 PM

May 18, 2003

The purpose of the written word

"The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think." --Edwin Schlossberg.

I really like it when I read a book and I spend as much time daydreaming from the springboard that the content of the book has been for me as I do reading the book.

Posted by tbailen at 09:02 PM

May 14, 2003


Jordan's questionaire is highly deserving of being a Friday Five, even if it's more than five questions long, and I don't have the clout to pull it off.

No really, why are you here?

A. I was put here to serve a nonphysical being who apparently both has a master plan and gave us free will. That reeks of contradiction to me. (2)

B. Have you seen my rock? (4)

C. It's small and stone-like. (0)

D. I have no idea why I'm here, but I'm still going to try the best I can. (4)

By the way, this page leads me to believe that "Nature's Rorschach Test" would be a really good name for a band.

(the answer is "clouds".)

Posted by tbailen at 11:34 PM

May 04, 2003

Immaculate Conceptions in Toyland

"Yesterday in a toy shop I was confronted by a pregnant Barbie,
also having another baby in a cradle. Made me wonder how they did that,
since Ken does not have genitals - I checked. On the other hand,
Barbie is missing inner and outer sexual organs too.
So has she been unfaithful to Ken? Was it God?
Do we get one or two new Jesuses from Mattel?
Help ?!!"


Posted by tbailen at 08:25 PM