The Bastard Operator From Hell[?]-Style Excuse Server
Server Written by: Jeff Ballard
Based upon the The Bastard Operator From Hell Stories written by Simon Paul Travaglia.
Datamation magazine owns the Electronic Rights to the orgional works of the BOFH.

Looking for the stories? Here's a good site for a ton of them. The Register also has a bunch of newer stories as well.

To access the server:
Via the Web.
telnet 666 (it works!)
Just view the whole list.
To contribute:
Email: Jeff Ballard <>
[remove the NOSPAM to mail me]
Be sure to check the whole list before sending yours in!

To see how its done:
Here's what you need:
  1., the Perl cgi script
    or to hook up to your inetd Ask how and be LART'd.
  2. The list of excuses!

Other Stuff

Want an excuse in a different way?
The following scripts/etc have been contributed...
Fortune Using Linux? Then check out the BOFH-fortune mod.
PHP Perl .cgi not float your boat? Want a PHP version?
Peter Lowe wrote a PHP version, and there is source code available.
ksh/bash Want a ksh/bash version? Ben Okopnik wrote one.
Node.js Javascript may be not be the root of all evil, but you can see it from there. So, have a Node.js version.
PowershellI've got the power... er... powershell.