"Quotes"

This week I'm going to "quote" people. I say "quote", because I don't make any gurantees regarding the accuracy of the quotes, nor that the quotes are used in context, nor that I spell anyting correctly, nor that anyone actually said any of these things in real life and I'm not just making it all up. All quotes are subject to my recollection.

Date "Quote" Explanation
Sunday November 15, 1998 "Yo, Brenton. ... Guess what. ... I locked my keys in the computer room." Jon asking me to do him a favor.
"Sculley always gets it." Hari, commenting on Agent Sculley's tendency towards contracting wierd X-Files-type diseases.
Monday November 16, 1998 "I've gotta go see my woman." Kevin "Smoove K" Konkle explaining that he can't come to the SERF with us because he has to finish his thermodynamics homework
"It's like if you had a bucket full of grain, and ten mice are eating the grain, and the mice are real hungry, and they're eating it at a constant rate, and then when they eat it all there's none left!" Professor Vaughan explaining zero-order kinetics
"If you liked the jerseys from last year ... these are way better." UW cycling club jersey designer Jeremy Donatell describing next year's jerseys
Tuesday November 17, 1998 "brenton, i would be happy to tell them what a jerk you are" Jennifer Jurgensen upon being asked if she'd be a reference on my job application.
"Ryan would probably blow his load if he saw what I'm doing" The ever quotable Kevin Konkle makes another bizarre statement.
"Fermat would be proud" Professor David Moulton in Putnam seminar regarding our intention to use some method Fermat originally used, to try prove that there are no integer solutions to a^-2 + b^-2 = c^-2.
Wednesday November 18, 1998 "How do you like my new car?" Roommate Ryan Bebeau whose potential employer in Chicago rented a car for him.
"...it's not very reasonable." Chemistry TA Yongzhong Peng regarding Professor Vaughan's decision to take off points from the exams of people who didn't catch a typo in one of the questions. (An equilibrium constant was off by a factor of 10. He wrote the correct value on the board during the test).
Thursday November 18, 1998 "Track-standing is for ninnies." Dave Sonetti after having to put a foot down at the stop light at Johnson and Mills St
You guys would be embarrassed if I told you how far I ride every day Andy Arnold, talking big
"Hi..." Some telemarketer
Friday November 20, 1998 On Monday I want you to hand in a sketch of a solution to number 5. Professor Deborah Joseph setting a deadline
Saturday November 21, 1998 Happy Birthday! Various friends, relatives, and bouncers
Do you want to know a secret, Kevin? ... Thermodynamics is all phony. Me telling Kevin why his answers to thermodynamics problems never match the ones in the back of the book