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This week's special weature comes to us courtesy of my sister, Amanda. Notice that these are things you should do at Wal-Mart, not at Target.
| Date | |
|---|---|
| Sunday March 28, 1999 | 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and
leaving them at strategic locations. 2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it. 3. Set all of the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. |
| Monday March 29, 1999 | 4. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your
legs together and practically yelling at him "I need tampons! Which isle are
the tampons?" 5. Try on bras over your clothes. 6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. |
| Tuesday March 30, 1999 | 7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice
"I smell sex and candy" 8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in a official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 9. Tune all of the radios to a polka station and then turn them off and turn all of the volume controls to "10". 10. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 11. Re-dress all of the mannequins as you see fit. |
| Wednesday March 31, 1999 | 12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the
other aisles. 13. Put M&M's on layaway. 14. Move "Caution: wet floor" signs to carpeted areas. 15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. |
| Thursday April 1, 1999 | 16. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in cosmetics. 17. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why wont you people leave me alone??" 18. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 19. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I Joe vs. X-Men. |
| Friday April 2, 1999 | 20. Ask another customer if they have any Grey Poupon. 21. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 22. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms. 23. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible". 24. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 25. In the automotive department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels. |
| Saturday April 3, 1999 | 26. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through say things like "Pick ME!! Pick ME!!" 27. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, No! It's those voices again!!!" 28. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 29. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. |