window film
f. u. penguin telling cute animals whats what
attention all you clumsy pandas lovable puffins huggable bunnies and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs the jig is up we have lived under your furry fists for too long . br there is a cute and present danger lurking out there in the wild in the zoos and sometimes even in our very own homes . spurred on by the cute industrial complex these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films inspirational posters and computer desktops everywhere further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds . br but you are stronger than them arent you those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you and their free ride has just come to an end . br f u penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power hungry cute mongers . loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big eyed kittens and bottle nursing baby pandas forever . br br finally a book for the rest of us most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.i wasnt sure how many more times i could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before i started eating people ... well more people anyway . jerry the shark br penguins killed my parents and they would not hesitate to kill me . i thank the crustacean god for matthew gasteier a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices . dennis the krill br its all true . were the worst . anonymous penguin br the average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity but i could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans . i should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion . edward the dolphin br thank you for your submission . unfortunately this style of book is not something we are currently looking for . however we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers danielle the bear editor in chief random cave publishing