Pleased to meet you. My name's Mike.

Unless you're a total nutball (like I am) you might find this page to be a trifle, how should I put this politely (I don't want to offend myself), goofy. Don't worry, it's not you it's me. I have a rather quirky sense of humor. If I have a sense of humor at all. I like to use (parentheses) a lot, as a way of explaning what the heck I'm trying to say (does that make sense?). Oh, well. Sit back, relax, and have a good time. Consider this page to be continually

Hey! There have been visitors here since 12/15/95 (that's 15/12/95 for all of you nutty Europeans out there).

The one millionth visitor to the page will win a pony, so check back every hour or so to increase your chances of winning.
Here is a cool picture from a graphics II project, which Mr. Tim Larmer and I worked on together. I will post more as soon as I have more time. Hopefully I'll even get an mpeg up! Click on the small picture to see a larger version.


You didn't think I meant real literature did you? Nope, this is stuff that I have written myself. I include here because I liked it, and this is my page so I'll do what I want.

My work isn't exactly Faulkner. In fact, I don't even think it is on par with material that Fabio enjoys posing for. I said I liked it, but this does not mean it's good. The sole purpose of this stuff is to entertain. If you're surfing the web for some other reason, get a life.

But at the beginning of each work, I have included a little bit about what makes the piece so remarkable. One final quick note, for those of who know me and to whom these don't seem like something I would normally write: why don't we just attribute this to my general brilliance and versatility as an "author".

John Wayne had it. So did Sammy Davis, Jr. Do you? True Grit

Learn about one of the happiest places on Earth from a man who entered the dreaded realm and lived to tell about it. I am speaking of course about Kmart.

And, hey! If you once had the privelege to work at Kmart (or any other retail type store) and have any cool stories (I'm sure you can top the ones on my Kmart page), I'd like to here them, and, of course, with, your permission, add them to, the, archive. So mail me!

Read the now-infamous Rose Green story, which has been described as a classic.

Calling all amateur psychologists! Here is one of the stranger dreams I have had in my life: the soon-to-be-infamous Steve Buscemi dream. See if you can figure this one out.

Have you ever felt the need to just bitch? Read here about my views on bitching in a story I call "Wishlist" .

Explore a day in the life of a ninja warrior

A picture of the author. Click here to see the full sized picture.

(Warning!!! Best put the kiddies to bed before you let them see this!)

So, now that you know what I look like, you probably want to know everything else about me. I am a computer science graduate at the University of Minnesota , looking forward to starting the Masters Program at the University Of Wisconsin Computer Science Department .


Another Wade on the Web: my sister, Kristi

You can visit Ted 's page or read my ode to Ted


See the places where I got all my smarts: Tartan High School and

Don't like this page? Use MetaCrawler to find a better one

The greatest show on Earth: The Simpsons

The greatest show about friends from New York: Seinfeld

The greatest band on Earth: Official Tool site or a nice site which I still visit a lot.

The three networks: NBC , Fox , CBS , and ABC

Everything you always wanted to know about meat

There's also Dilbert

The page of my former employer. Includes a search engine that will find the Kmart nearest you, AND MORE

The Kmart SUCKS Page!

A few of the folks that made this page possible

(Useful) Questions, comments or complaints? Just send me mail!

The views and opinions were expressed on this page only after being coerced by the University of Wisconsin. The contents of this page have not been approved or reviewed by Mike Wade.

(I'm lying)