The Bulletin
* "The novel's greatest strengths are J's voice and his clearly articulated perspective. The tone is believably histrionic, perfectly attuned to adolescence...even readers with little familiarity with transgender issues will find plenty to relate to on an emotional level."
I Am J
by Cris BeamView All Available Formats & Editions
J had always felt different. He was certain that eventually everyone would understand who he really was: a boy mistakenly born as a girl. Yet as he grew up, his body began to betray him; eventually J stopped praying to wake up a "real boy" and started covering up his body, keeping himself invisible — from his parents, from his friends, from the world. But
… See more details belowOverview
J had always felt different. He was certain that eventually everyone would understand who he really was: a boy mistakenly born as a girl. Yet as he grew up, his body began to betray him; eventually J stopped praying to wake up a "real boy" and started covering up his body, keeping himself invisible — from his parents, from his friends, from the world. But after being deserted by the best friend he thought would always be by his side, J decides that he's done hiding — it's time to be who he really is. And this time he is determined not to give up, no matter the cost.
Cris Beam delivers a powerful and inspiring story of self-discovery as readers share in J's struggle to find his own path and to love his true self.
Editorial Reviews
Publishers Weekly
J was born Jenifer but has never felt female. Now on the verge of 18, he wants to be "more than just a hovering brain without a body," and starts to transition to male. He binds his breasts; attends a school for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth; and starts therapy so he can be approved for testosterone injections. Change isn't easy: afraid of his father's rejection, J runs away temporarily, and is anxious that the girlfriend who "saw him as a man" will find out that he is "trans." Readers will learn a lot about transgender teens as J does online research, attends a support group, and gets advice from friends who have transitioned; adult author Beam (Transparent) also includes a four-page list of resources. It is J's authentic voice that keeps this challenging story from simply being a problem novel. J is sure of his masculinity, yet vulnerable and confused, and his thoughts often come out in a tangled rush. Readers should be absorbed by J's struggle to prove "My gender's not a lie. I am not a lie." Ages 15–up. (Mar.)The Los Angeles Times
"A wonderful addition to the few novels that have dared to tackle a subject that has long lived in the cultural margins. . .a tender, surprisingly relatable story."The Horn Book
"J's personal frustrations and desires are strongly conveyed, pulling readers into the internal narrative...a gift to transgender teens and an affecting story of self-discovery for all readers."From the Publisher
* " Easily the best book to date about the complicated condition of being a transsexual teen, not only sharing important information that is artfully woven into the plot but also creating, in J, a multilayered, absolutely believable character whose pain readers will share. Perhaps most importantly, the author brings clarity and charity to a state of being that has too long been misunderstood, ignored, and deplored."—Booklist, starred review* "The novel's greatest strengths are J's voice and his clearly articulated perspective. The tone is believably histrionic, perfectly attuned to adolescence...even readers with little familiarity with transgender issues will find plenty to relate to on an emotional level."—BCCB, starred review
* "Finally, a book about a transgender teen that gives its central character a life in which gender and transition matter but do not define his existence!"—Kirkus, starred review"
A wonderful addition to the few novels that have dared to tackle a subject that has long lived in the cultural margins. . .a tender, surprisingly relatable story."—The Los Angeles Times"
J's personal frustrations and desires are strongly conveyed, pulling readers into the internal narrative...a gift to transgender teens and an affecting story of self-discovery for all readers."—The Horn Book"
It is J's authentic voice that keeps this challenging story from simply being a problem novel...Readers should be absorbed by J's struggle to prove 'My gender's not a lie. I am not a lie.'"—Publishers Weekly
"J is an especially vivid character...the story is believable and effective due to insightful situations, realistic language, and convincing dialogue."—School Library Journal
starred review Booklist
* " Easily the best book to date about the complicated condition of being a transsexual teen, not only sharing important information that is artfully woven into the plot but also creating, in J, a multilayered, absolutely believable character whose pain readers will share. Perhaps most importantly, the author brings clarity and charity to a state of being that has too long been misunderstood, ignored, and deplored."starred review BCCB
* "The novel's greatest strengths are J's voice and his clearly articulated perspective. The tone is believably histrionic, perfectly attuned to adolescence...even readers with little familiarity with transgender issues will find plenty to relate to on an emotional level."ALAN Review - Barbara A. Ward
Convinced that he is a boy born in a girl's body, J has always felt different from everyone around him. As his body began to change, he hid the undeniable physical changes beneath his clothing. Now, on the eve of his eighteenth birthday, a betrayal by long-time friend Melissa prompts him to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. No longer will J hide—from his friends, his parents, and even himself. There's a whole new world of possibilities outside his front door, even a school where he might find acceptance. J's unhappiness, expressed through his photography, is palpable, and his journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance is inspiring. Navigating the often unfriendly New York neighborhoods, J embraces a hopeful but not easy future with difficult choices. This heartbreakingly honest book features complex characters, including parents whose acceptance is not certain. Back matter includes an Author's Note and Resources. Reviewer: Barbara A. WardVOYA - Nicole Drago
This reviewer enjoyed Beam's writing style. The story of J, a transgender teen living in Los Angeles, is told in the first-person narrative voice. It may at first be difficult to relate to the tale of a boy trapped in a girl's body, but the book is very well written and readers will be completely immersed in the characters. It is a heartfelt story of the difficulties teenagers face, particularly coupled with the added issue of being a trans teen. I recommend this book for anyone who keeps an open mind to new fiction and is not afraid to read about a subject that can initially cause discomfort but in the end will be satisfying. Reviewer: Nicole Drago, Teen ReviewerVOYA - Ed Goldberg
Seventeen-year-old J is a boy born into a girl's body. He dresses as a boy, binds his breasts, and attempts to make his mannerisms more masculine. Unable to tell his unsuspecting parents or his best friend, Melissa, J feels no alternative but to run away. Wandering around lower Manhattan, he meets Blue, who treats him as a boy, causing him to believe she is girlfriend potential. Checking into a cheap hotel, J is advised to leave by a wizened guest, who points him to a clinic where testosterone shots are given to transgender boys. J feels this is the answer to his problems but is disconcerted to learn that he must attend counseling and obtain parental approval for the shots, a process that takes several months. Uncertain, he attends counseling and finds people with whom he can relate. He transfers to a GLBT high school to finish his senior year. In I Am J, Beam writes about an underserved population and covers the emotional hodgepodge that transgenders go through. The writing, however, bogs down the story. A more tightly written novel might have more impact. The confusion of the central characters—J, Melissa, J's parents—is offset nicely by the quiet acceptance of some ancillary characters. Although J is emotionally a man, he does not know how boys act or think. Luna by Julie Anne Peters (Little, Brown, 2005/VOYA June 2004) tells this story from the transgender girl's perspective and is better written. Beam presents the facts and includes a list of GLBT resources. Purchase I Am J to complement your collection in this area. Reviewer: Ed GoldbergSchool Library Journal
Gr 9 Up—When J reached adolescence, he quit the swim team and began covering his body with extra clothes to hide the fact that he had been born a girl. At 17, J dreams of being accepted as a boy, binding his breasts and despising his monthly periods. His close friend, Melissa, a cutter, tries her best to understand and support him. His parents are confused, angry, and sad. He runs away from home and enrolls in a special school for gay and transgender teens, where he makes a helpful friend, a transgender girl. He also embarks on a shaky romance with Blue, a straight female artist who believes J is a boy and to whom he must eventually confess the truth. When he learns about testosterone and how it can help with his transformation, he is overjoyed, despite the obstacles he faces in getting the drug legally. Finally, J turns 18 and is able to begin getting his shots. He applies to and is accepted at college to study photography as a transgender young man, and holds out hope that one day his parents will accept him as well. Beam is the author of the informative adult book, Transparent: Love, Family and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers (Houghton, 2007). This novel is just as impressive. J is an especially vivid character, and the supporting characters are carefully drawn. Told in third person, the story is believable and effective due to insightful situations, realistic language, and convincing dialogue. Readers who relished Julie Anne Peters's Luna (Little, Brown, 2004) will snap it up.—Diane P. Tuccillo, Poudre River Public Library District, Fort Collins, COKirkus Reviews
Finally, a book about a transgender teen that gives its central character a life in which gender and transition matter but do not define his existence! J lives with his Puerto Rican mother and Jewish father in Manhattan's working-class Washington Heights neighborhood but plans to go to college to study photography. He tries not to think about gender and covers his body in thick layers of clothing, but he still tenses up when his mother calls him "m'ija" or classmates call him "dyke." After a heated argument with his best friend, Melissa, and a nearly physical fight at school, J starts cutting class. A Google search leads him to the idea of taking testosterone, and J leaves home, certain that his parents will not accept his choices. In his new haunts, including a seedy hotel, a downtown Starbucks, a trans support group and a high school for LGBT students, J encounters a vibrant and diverse cast of characters. Responses to J's transition vary from affirming (his trans poet classmate Chanelle's support) to heartbreaking (his parents' resistance) to maddening (Melissa's attempt to make art with J as her "muse"). Readers will likely come away agreeing with J: "Being trans wasn't special, and yet it was. It was just good and bad and interesting and fucked-up and very human, like anything else." (Fiction. 14 & up)
Product Details
- ISBN-13:
- 9780316053600
- Publisher:
- Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
- Publication date:
- 11/13/2012
- Pages:
- 352
- Sales rank:
- 191,174
- Product dimensions:
- 5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 1.00(d)
- Age Range:
- 14 - 17 Years
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