Drops of Dew

Monologue from a conversation

  1-800-331-0500

  tring-tring
  tring-tring

  ... ... ...
  1

  ... ... ...
  3

  ... ... ...
  ta - dida - da - dida - da
  ta - dida - da

  "Hello?"

  "Yeah, sure. It's 608 556 5768."

  "Ajit Mrishra"

  "Not really a problem, I was just wondering why my auto-pay option hasn't yet
  been activated. I bought the phone 2 months ago"

  "Yup"

  "Oh! I guess I applied for the service sometime last month"

  "Oh ok! I don't remember what the exact date was. Maybe you could... Yeah,
  please do."

  "Hmm, so that makes it 25 days. So it should get started in about 5 days?"

  "Yes, I understand that will only be effective next month. Well, that takes care
  of that, thanks."

  "Hey. Wait a second, I have one question before I quit."

  "Can you tell me what country you're operating from?"

  "I just want to know what country you're operating from. What country is the
  call center actually operated in?"

  "I doubt that qualifies as a personal question. I mean you could say it does...
  Oh, I know you won't cut the line on me, you're advised not to. And it's a
  harmless question."

  "But why wouldn't you want to tell me. I just want to.. Ok, you can get me in
  touch with your superior, if that's what you want."

  "Yes, I'll wait"

  ta - dida - da - dida - da
  ta - dida - da - dida - da
  ta - dida - da - dida - da
  ta - dida - da - dida -

  "Hello sir. Your staff could not help with a somewhat unconventional demand
  here."

  "I just want to know what country you guys are operating from. Assuming you're
  at the same place that is. If you're not, I don't mind who's location you refer
  to. Yours or the lady I was speaking to..."

  "Why? Oh mere curiosity."

  "No of course I know you're not bound to give me that informa... I know that is
  not part of the customer service I am entitled to. But it's a simple question!"

  "I don't understand. Ok, let me take the initiative. I'm calling from Madison,
  Wisconsin. In the US. Now if you're talking from somewhere in India or China or
  South America, there's hardly any chance I'll fly down to do you any harm,
  right? If the reason you don't entertain such requests is to economize... well,
  wouldn't it have been so much easier if you could have just answered my question
  5 minutes ago? Just a word or two of informal banter wouldn't kill your profits
  will they? And imagine you're from India, and simply said so. Wouldn't it forge
  a tiny little bridge of recognition between us, make this phone call another
  thing to make the day livelier?"

  "Yes. I know you have protocols. You do what you're told to do. But all life is
  not military is it, or business? Do you even think why you follow these inhuman
  rules you do? I guess not. I'd guess you're from India then. No one thinks there
  anymore. We just accept. We follow rules. The government's. We digest things.
  Bomb blasts and scams. Nothing moves in India. Are you from India sir? We are
  really a decaying society, aren't we?"

  "Imagine, we could have exchanged a word or two in Hindi, if you're from the
  northern part of the country! But that would kill your job, eh? Don't you feel
  yourself it would be a nice human touch in the drab job of yours, well most are,
  to be able to say namaste at the end of a call?"

  "You've been trained well I see. No reaction whatsoever!"

  "By the way, do you have any idea why you always get women when you call for
  customer service but always a man when she hands it over to a superior. Does it
  have anything to do with perversion v/s authority..."

  Teeeet
  Teeeet
  Teeeet