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Plot Summary
Rob Delaney performs in his stand-up comedy special.
Customer Reviews
Hilarious
This guy is really hilarious! A must-buy.
Wow
Really big good.
I'd hit that.
I was sitting on the teeter-totter at my local park, all by my lonesome, minding my own business whilst enjoying a footlong Veggie Delight©. I'm on the Jared diet (tons of walking, plenty 'o Subway©).
There was some wicked breeze that day. It may have been the Santa Ana's . I can't be certain.
The unfortunate-looking women from the aforementioned sandwich chain must have been a real honey mustard enthusiast, because, god almighty, that sandwich was tangier than my previous two sandwiches of the day.
It was still veggie delightful, just tangy.
It was like there was a Bar Mitzvah in my mouth and the whole temple was invited; even Mordecai Silverberg. He told everyone at Yeshiva that I gave Ari Zimmerman an H.J. with a bagel in the back seat of his mom's Volvo. I assure you, there was no bagel involved.
All of a sudden I realized: I didn't ask for green peppers on my sandwich. In fact, I'm pretty darn sure that green peppers exasperate my acid reflux!
Tremendously ticked-off, I thought to myself, "This is B.S., man. I'm going to go get a Strawberry Cheesequake© Blizzard from the D.Q.!"
Just then, I thought about Jared's big pants. I began to question whether or not I should truly cheat on my newly-begun, sandwich-based, health-conscious lifestyle-change. A single tear slowly rolled down my "curvy" cheek. I felt defeated.
I think I zoned out for a few minutes after that, but quickly came to when I heard someone north/northeast of the jungle-gym shouting, "Your muffin-top excites me! Shake, rattle and roll with it, baby."
I'm fairly confident that excited man was Rob Delaney.*
Defeat swiftly turned to victory.
Rob's standup special is all that and a bag of baked chips. I feel like it would make a far better Hanukkah gift than the tube socks you're so normally accustomed to.
Buy it for yourself. Buy it for your rabbi. Buy it for your Aunt Ruth.
*It may or may not have been Rob Delaney. Due to a spell of type-II diabetes, my vision is not what it used to be.
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