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Plot Summary
Bryan Lighthouse photographed pets until a client’s dog maimed a cat. The cat was owned by the wife of Croatian crime lord, Vlatko Nikitin, and rather than killing Bryan, Nikitin offers an alternative: marry his daughter Masha so she can get her green card. Bryan’s crazy mother is thrilled her son is “marrying into money,” but complicating matters is his sexy assistant Tonya, who wants Bryan for herself. Bryan marries Masha, and they go to Tahiti for a romantic honeymoon. But, Nikitin makes it clear that Bryan is not to even touch Masha. The newlyweds arrive in paradise where they begin to fall for each other – that is, until wannabe girlfriend Tonya shows up. Matters grow worse when Masha gets kidnapped. With Nikitin thinking Bryan is behind the plot to get the hefty ransom, the pet photographer is as good as dead. With the help of Ernesto, a daredevil helicopter pilot, and Ernesto’s cousin Lani, Bryan is forced into action to save his new bride before Nikitin has him killed.
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Rotten Tomatoes Movie Reviews
TOMATOMETER
0%- Reviews Counted: 9
- Fresh: 0
- Rotten: 9
- Average Rating: 3.5/10
Top Critics' Reviews
Rotten: The plotting just ends up feeling like a lot of business, ideas meant to keep the characters busy and in motion rather than actually reflecting anything like human behavior.
Rotten: Its lunacy is well staged and fast-paced. Too bad the movie's premise is so lame that the nimbler moments can't redeem it.
Rotten: It's refreshing for critics when movies like "You May Not Kiss the Bride" come along. We don't get to use words like "insipid" nearly enough.
Rotten: Surely, some Hollywood studio in the 1950s made a prototype of the sprightly if erratic comedy "You May Not Kiss the Bride."
Customer Reviews
Tahiti? No, Hawaii... Movie was just ok.
It's a shame that such a great cast wasn't put to better use. This movie had more of a TV sitcom feel and look to it rather than a filmic one. One thing I have to point out is that this movie was filmed mainly in Hawaii and not Tahiti. Most of the locations were the exact same ones used in 50 First Dates. I expected more from this movie, but knowing that it was made on a low budget makes it just okay... Nothing to the degree of Forgetting Sarah Marshall or 50 First Dates.
Terrible!
I wanted to like this movie. I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt. Even with the lowest of expectations there is just nothing redeeming about it. Don't rent it. Just don't.
Where to start.....
Some of the worst acting I have ever seen! And the worst story line ever. With that said, this movie had some of the funniest part in it I have seen in a long time. Seriously there were some scenes that were so funny my wife and I had to pause the move so we could catch our breath. All I have to say is "You got to get the H*LL outta here!" you'll understand if you watch it.
This is the movie you watch when there is NOTHING else to do. Plain and simple. I don't see this even making it to the theaters.
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