Wallbanger (Cocktail Book 1)
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Wallbanger (The Cocktail Series) Paperback – August 13, 2013
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Aiming for silly, sarcastic, witty, and hot, Clayton's clumsy contemporary, inexplicably popular in its 2012 digital edition, misses the mark and comes off as ridiculous, immature, and irritating. Caroline's first night in her new apartment is interrupted in the early hours by the moaning and thumping coming from the other side of the wall. Caroline has a great job as a designer; two best friends who are caricatures of disempowered, desperate young women obsessed with sex and drinking; and a KitchenAid mixer. Her only problem in life? O, her missing orgasm (she named it, as she nicknames just about everything else, including her neighbor Wallbanger and his girlfriends, Spanx, Purina, and Giggler). Her quest for O involves endless attempted witticisms, text message transcriptions, and behavior so juvenile and beyond ridiculous that even the characters admit they sound like fourth graders. Agent: Pamela Harty, Knight Agency. (Aug.)
Review
"Pure escapism...with a funny cast, snappy dialogue, and plenty of hot and sexy scenes.... Readers of Rachel Gibson and Helen Fielding will enjoy Clayton" - Booklist
More About the Author
ALICE CLAYTON worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read laptop).
She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her.
Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.
She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her.
Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
165 of 186 people found the following review helpful
By
Lisa's Book Review
on November 26, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
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Oops! She did it again.
She played with my heart, got me lost in her words
Oh, Alice, Alice
Oops! I think I'm in love
I can't get enough
You make me laugh so hard
Alice Clayton always has the perfect mix of sexy and silly. I love how her books make me feel and the laughter they induce. Caroline and Simon were likeable and characters like Purina, Spanx and Giggler added some comedic relief to this little morsel. Wallbanger is full of humor but it isn't so much that it distracts from the love story; Clayton mixes just enough angst in to pull the whole thing together for a fabulous, well-rounded reading experience.
Poor Caroline has lost her O. Oh, where did it go you ask? Well, some guy with no skill took it from her and now she is stuck living next to a guy who really knows how to bang the wall. Poor, poor Caroline! Caroline is feisty and I like her. She loves big bands, George Clooney and her cat Clive. (Clive has a little thing for Purina, purrrrrr) She doesn't know it but she really just needs to be banged against the wall a couple of times herself. She seems content to be by herself but she hasn't meant her match...yet.
Their first meeting..
"You don't see me coming across the hall and banging on your door." - Simon
"No, you just bang on my damn wall. We share a bedroom wall. You're right up against me when I'm trying to sleep. Have some common courtesy." - Caroline
"Well, how come you can hear me and I can't hear you? Wait, wait, there's no one banging on your walls, is there?" - Simon
He smirked, and I felt the color drain from my face. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, and as I looked down, I remembered what I was wearing.
Pink baby doll nightie.Read more ›
She played with my heart, got me lost in her words
Oh, Alice, Alice
Oops! I think I'm in love
I can't get enough
You make me laugh so hard
Alice Clayton always has the perfect mix of sexy and silly. I love how her books make me feel and the laughter they induce. Caroline and Simon were likeable and characters like Purina, Spanx and Giggler added some comedic relief to this little morsel. Wallbanger is full of humor but it isn't so much that it distracts from the love story; Clayton mixes just enough angst in to pull the whole thing together for a fabulous, well-rounded reading experience.
Poor Caroline has lost her O. Oh, where did it go you ask? Well, some guy with no skill took it from her and now she is stuck living next to a guy who really knows how to bang the wall. Poor, poor Caroline! Caroline is feisty and I like her. She loves big bands, George Clooney and her cat Clive. (Clive has a little thing for Purina, purrrrrr) She doesn't know it but she really just needs to be banged against the wall a couple of times herself. She seems content to be by herself but she hasn't meant her match...yet.
Their first meeting..
"You don't see me coming across the hall and banging on your door." - Simon
"No, you just bang on my damn wall. We share a bedroom wall. You're right up against me when I'm trying to sleep. Have some common courtesy." - Caroline
"Well, how come you can hear me and I can't hear you? Wait, wait, there's no one banging on your walls, is there?" - Simon
He smirked, and I felt the color drain from my face. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, and as I looked down, I remembered what I was wearing.
Pink baby doll nightie.Read more ›
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81 of 90 people found the following review helpful
By
Amazon Customer
on November 28, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
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I would never have thought that a book called Wallbanger would crack me up so much. I guess that's what I get for judging a book by it's cover. This book is so funny, sexy, cute, ahhhhhh, I loved it! Thanks to Amazon for putting it in my recommended list, and even more thanks to Alice Clayton for writing such an awesome book. Read it!! You will love it!
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70 of 78 people found the following review helpful
By
Erin W (@mereadalot)
on November 28, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
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This book was absolutely H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. I laughed through the whole book and could not put it down. It was very good. :)
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125 of 156 people found the following review helpful
By
GBASH
on January 7, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
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I had high hopes based on the number of 5 stars. I was disappointed. The texts back and forth were funny. Some of the character interaction was funny (some). The main character's internal dialog was irritating. The "everybody gets someone" was irritating. Oh, did I mention that everyone was gorgeous and rich? Her pet names for everything was the most irritating of all. She was completely unable to speak in any other way than nicknames and shortcuts. If I had to read "O", as in orgasm, one more time I was going to gouge an eye out. The worst were the constant "pussy" references. I think she added a cat to the story just to be able to write that in 100 times. I finished the book, wished I hadn't, and sorry I paid for it. I don't write reviews often but couldn't help it with this one. If one person reads this review and saves themselves $4.99 it will be worth it.
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53 of 66 people found the following review helpful
By
Karlyn
on November 2, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
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3 Comments
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I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits.
Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'C--- blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had me laughing! And when Simon and her finally met, the banter was so well done.
The story stayed on pace for a while, but around the halfway mark it got a little juvenile for my tastes. In the quest for friendship with Simon, Caroline got a bit whiney and started playing head games. The banter got a bit over the top. The cliches got a bit thick. And I was like "WTF Caroline"?!
And then the story got really farcical, but I persisted. Caroline started to really rub me wrong. What is happening to her? She is turning into a desperate, stupid big fat cliche from every bad Chick Lit book I've read.
Then she really, really started to make me not like her. The romance between her and Simon was turning into rainbow farting unicorns, and the delusions dancing in her head were no longer entertaining. I no longer wanted to hang with her, assuming she was a real person. And the story about her friends got weirder and weirder.
By the time I quit, Simon was the only thing about this book I still really liked. And that is how I plan to remember him, because I am so afraid if I finish this book I will end up not liking him either.
So: DNF at 75%
Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'C--- blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had me laughing! And when Simon and her finally met, the banter was so well done.
The story stayed on pace for a while, but around the halfway mark it got a little juvenile for my tastes. In the quest for friendship with Simon, Caroline got a bit whiney and started playing head games. The banter got a bit over the top. The cliches got a bit thick. And I was like "WTF Caroline"?!
And then the story got really farcical, but I persisted. Caroline started to really rub me wrong. What is happening to her? She is turning into a desperate, stupid big fat cliche from every bad Chick Lit book I've read.
Then she really, really started to make me not like her. The romance between her and Simon was turning into rainbow farting unicorns, and the delusions dancing in her head were no longer entertaining. I no longer wanted to hang with her, assuming she was a real person. And the story about her friends got weirder and weirder.
By the time I quit, Simon was the only thing about this book I still really liked. And that is how I plan to remember him, because I am so afraid if I finish this book I will end up not liking him either.
So: DNF at 75%
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20 of 24 people found the following review helpful
By
Kimmah
on December 3, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
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5 Comments
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It doesn't seem from reading the reviews that many people are aware that this was originally a Twilight fan-fic and was titled Edward Wallbanger. I originally read it that way, chapter by chapter, and laughed my butt off every single time. Of course, it was only loosely based, as a matter of fact, only using character names and some pairings from the original series. However, it is funny and I'm glad to see it in print! If you love laugh out loud books, you will love this one. The story is about a girl who is missing the big O. Enter her new apartment and her next door neighbor, with a shared wall, who obviously is having no trouble in that department, evidenced by his revolving door of lovers. Highly recommend!
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