Life Without Ed, Tenth Anniversary Edition
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Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too Paperback – December 26, 2003
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
"The truth is we all talk to ourselves. We just need to get better at it," counsels psychotherapist Rutledge in this self-help book for women with eating disorders, which he wrote with one of his patients, Schaefer, a singer/songwriter and media personality in Nashville, who both binges and purges. As might be expected in a book that draws from both psychotherapy and country western music, the story concerns a fine woman and the no good man she's stuck with. In this case, the evil, controlling character is a non-person Schaefer names Ed, from the initials E.D. (as in eating disorder). Whether Schaefer is alone in her kitchen or dining with friends, she "hears" Ed telling her she resembles a "barnyard animal," that all the girls in her eating disorder therapy group are thinner than she is, or that it would feel good to go to bed on an empty stomach. "There is something inside me... that has chained itself to Ed with a heavy-duty lock and thrown away the key," she writes. With the help of therapist Rutledge, who shares his professional observations in sections entitled "Thom's Turn," Schaefer finally gains the strength to keep Ed at bay. Schaefer's literary construct of an interior voice will delight some readers and annoy others, but if it helps any readers overcome their own disorders, it's been effective.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Back Cover
"I would die if I were as fat as Marilyn Monroe. Or at least Ed used to make me think so."--Jenni Schaefer
I have never been married, but I am happily divorced. Ed and I lived together for more than twenty years. He was abusive, controlling, and never hesitated to tell me what he thought, how I was doing it wrong, and what I should be doing instead. . . . Ed is not a high school sweetheart. Ed is not some creep that I started dating in college. . . . Ed's name comes from the initials E.D.--as in eating disorder. Ed is my eating disorder.
--from the Introduction
Jenni had been in an abusive relationship with Ed for far too long. He controlled Jenni's life, distorted her self-image, and tried to physically harm her throughout their long affair. Then Jenni met psychotherapist and author Thom Rutledge. He taught her how to treat her eating disorder as a relationship, not a condition. By thinking of her eating disorder as a unique personality separate from her own, Jenni was able to break up with Ed once and for all.
Inspiring, compassionate, and filled with practical exercises to help you break up with your own personal E.D., Life Without Ed provides new hope for the disorders that plague millions of women and young girls. Beginning with Jenni's "divorce" from Ed, this supportive, lifesaving book combines a patient's insights and experiences with a therapist's prescriptions for success to help you live a healthier, happier life without Ed.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
63 of 63 people found the following review helpful
By
Sarah Wiley
on February 25, 2004
Format: Paperback
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I just looked up the word "campy," and there is nothing campy about Life without Ed. As a woman recovering from an eating disorder and as a clinician treating eating disorders, I find this book to be a refreshing change from the staus quo of tortuous memoirs and over-intellectualized material that tends to occupy this market.
The recovery work described in this book is undoubtedly the real deal. Jenni Schaefer has obviously worked hard to overcome her eating disorder and she is to be congratulated for that. And while we're at it, let's congratulate her for the willingness to share her story so candidly, and for being creative enough to bring such a delightful sense of humor to this very serious subject matter. She no doubt gets some of the humor from her therapist and co-author Thom Rutledge. His writing (the best of which is Embracing Fear) always manages to bring together serious self-help and the kind of humor that offers a perspective that is in and of itself healing.
If you have even the slightest interest in understanding the inner-workings of eating disorders, buy this book. If you are a therapist or counselor who works with eating disorders, buy this book. If you love someone with an eating disorder, buy this book. And if you have an eating disorder --- definitely buy this book.
Who says medicine has to taste bad to be good? Learn, grow and enjoy Life without Ed.
Sarah Wiley, Ph.D.
The recovery work described in this book is undoubtedly the real deal. Jenni Schaefer has obviously worked hard to overcome her eating disorder and she is to be congratulated for that. And while we're at it, let's congratulate her for the willingness to share her story so candidly, and for being creative enough to bring such a delightful sense of humor to this very serious subject matter. She no doubt gets some of the humor from her therapist and co-author Thom Rutledge. His writing (the best of which is Embracing Fear) always manages to bring together serious self-help and the kind of humor that offers a perspective that is in and of itself healing.
If you have even the slightest interest in understanding the inner-workings of eating disorders, buy this book. If you are a therapist or counselor who works with eating disorders, buy this book. If you love someone with an eating disorder, buy this book. And if you have an eating disorder --- definitely buy this book.
Who says medicine has to taste bad to be good? Learn, grow and enjoy Life without Ed.
Sarah Wiley, Ph.D.
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31 of 32 people found the following review helpful
By
"dohlendorf"
on February 26, 2004
Format: Paperback
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Jenni Schaefer has accurately captured the life and feelings of a perfectionist in her book Life Without Ed. Although I have never experienced an eating disorder, I obsess about calorie intake on a daily basis and am bound by the chains of physical appearance. I found the exercises at the end of each section helpful in confronting the voices and negative criticisms that my own abusive SuperEgo (Ed) throws my way.
Jenni Schaefer does not discount the seriousness of eating disorders nor does she try to convince you that divorce from ED is easy. She provides practical ways to distinguish between what is healthy and what is ED. The awarness that I gained from this book (especially section 1) has enabled me to start the separation process from my own abusive self criticism.
This book applies to all recovering perfectionists. The exercises, personal experiences, strength, and weakness that the author shared make it a real and valuable resource on my path to recovery. I highly recommend this book to anyone enduring self criticism and abuse.
Jenni Schaefer does not discount the seriousness of eating disorders nor does she try to convince you that divorce from ED is easy. She provides practical ways to distinguish between what is healthy and what is ED. The awarness that I gained from this book (especially section 1) has enabled me to start the separation process from my own abusive self criticism.
This book applies to all recovering perfectionists. The exercises, personal experiences, strength, and weakness that the author shared make it a real and valuable resource on my path to recovery. I highly recommend this book to anyone enduring self criticism and abuse.
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31 of 32 people found the following review helpful
By
Constant Reader
on March 11, 2005
Format: Paperback
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One of the challenges of being a parent with a child suffering from Anorexia is finding educational sources for them that are supportive of ending the disease without providing further information on how to secretly purge and restrict and without blaming the parents, the media, or "culture" for their illness.
After reading literally dozens of books in the field, this was the only one we encouraged our child to read. She quickly empathized with the notion of the ED being separate and distinct. It helped and continues to help her cope with the dangerous and unhealthy impulses brought on by the disease.
There are only a handful of books that I recommend to parents and sufferers. This is one of the mandatory ones.
After reading literally dozens of books in the field, this was the only one we encouraged our child to read. She quickly empathized with the notion of the ED being separate and distinct. It helped and continues to help her cope with the dangerous and unhealthy impulses brought on by the disease.
There are only a handful of books that I recommend to parents and sufferers. This is one of the mandatory ones.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
By
Heather
on January 10, 2004
Format: Paperback
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This is a fantastic book!! Jenni Schaefer gives us a very realistic look at living and winning against our eating disorders but adds enough humor to make this an enjoyable read. She also lets you know that you are not alone in this fight and at times it seems she's fighting ED right there with you.The book helps you come to understand what and who you are up against with your eating disorder. The chapters are short(easy to get thru before your attention wanders). However,the chapters are filled with so much information that you find yourself rereading them and picking up more info each time. The exercises in the book truly work. This whole book teaches you to Separate, Disagree and Disobey ED(eating disorder). I especially liked learning how to talk back to ED -I feel ED's power comes from the mental warefare he launches inside your head 24/7. The book provides steps to combat and end this constant emotional abuse. I feel you will really benefit from reading this book. I highly recommend it!!!
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48 of 58 people found the following review helpful
By
W. L. Bradley
on December 28, 2006
Format: Paperback
1 Comment
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In "Life Without Ed" Jenni Schaefer provides a look into her life and how, by learning to view herself and her eating disorder as separate beings, she overcame her disorder. I believe this process can work for some people, but it is not the "cure-all" for everyone. I am not discounting the author or her work or her process of recovery, but I could not get through this book and take any of it seriously enough to get anything of use out of it. Schaefer talks about writing a "Declaration of Independance", fashioned almost word-for-word after the original document, and then signed by members of her support group. In another part, she speaks of getting caller I.D. placed on her home telephone in order to prevent "Ed" from calling her.
When "Ed" is a voice inside one's head, the notion that said voice could morph into an actual physical being with the ability to use a telephone is rather absurd. I understand the symbolism behind it, but found myself laughing at various parts of what I presume is supposed to be a serious book, not a piece of comedy.
A better book is "Eli's Wings" by Elizabeth Best. Her book is a look into her life both with her eating disorder and through the recovery process. While she doesn't sugar-coat recovery (it is harder in some ways than living with the disorder), she also writes in a way that is captivating and leaves the reader inspired, rather than "triggered", like some other books out there.
When "Ed" is a voice inside one's head, the notion that said voice could morph into an actual physical being with the ability to use a telephone is rather absurd. I understand the symbolism behind it, but found myself laughing at various parts of what I presume is supposed to be a serious book, not a piece of comedy.
A better book is "Eli's Wings" by Elizabeth Best. Her book is a look into her life both with her eating disorder and through the recovery process. While she doesn't sugar-coat recovery (it is harder in some ways than living with the disorder), she also writes in a way that is captivating and leaves the reader inspired, rather than "triggered", like some other books out there.
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