In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age
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In Real Life: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age Paperback – September 2, 2014
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"Nev is a great philosopher of the internet and thereby a critical voice for our generation. Whether or not you're a Catfish fan, In Real Life is a must-read and shows us the opportunities and pitfalls that are part of the digital era. Nev makes it plain and simple: the power of the keyboard is now mightier than the sword."—Matthew Segal, founder of OurTime.org
"IN REAL LIFE is so much more than a book about online dating. It's about self-acceptance and being true to yourself in a world where you're influenced by so many people over the internet."—Jonathan Bennett, host of MTV's Copycat
"What I find most exciting about IN REAL LIFE is how it explores the Internet's impact on our perception of gender and sexuality, and how we portray our digital selves to the world to that end. As a fellow millennial, I'm constantly trying to adapt to how the digital age is molding our ideas of love and relationships. In Real Life does not attempt to define these ever-changing terms but instead works to understand them."—Kim Stolz, author of Unfriending My Ex
"Finally someone has written a smart and funny guide that helps young people navigate social media without letting it take over their lives."—Maude Apatow, actress and twitter personality
"Nev's book begins as a fun journey into the world of lying on the internet, but it extrapolates into the larger phenomenon of avatars -- everybody has one on social networks."—James Franco for Vice magazine
"The book is at once a memoir, a meditation on a truly unique phenomenon of the internet age, and a motivational address for anyone seeking virtual companionship. Schulman cautions his readers against lying on their social media profiles, and argues instead for improving "offline" life. "Embrace who you really are, both online and off" is the message at the heart of his book."—Publishers Weekly
"IN REAL LIFE is so much more than a book about online dating. It's about self-acceptance and being true to yourself in a world where you're influenced by so many people over the internet."—Jonathan Bennett, host of MTV's Copycat
"What I find most exciting about IN REAL LIFE is how it explores the Internet's impact on our perception of gender and sexuality, and how we portray our digital selves to the world to that end. As a fellow millennial, I'm constantly trying to adapt to how the digital age is molding our ideas of love and relationships. In Real Life does not attempt to define these ever-changing terms but instead works to understand them."—Kim Stolz, author of Unfriending My Ex
"Finally someone has written a smart and funny guide that helps young people navigate social media without letting it take over their lives."—Maude Apatow, actress and twitter personality
"Nev's book begins as a fun journey into the world of lying on the internet, but it extrapolates into the larger phenomenon of avatars -- everybody has one on social networks."—James Franco for Vice magazine
"The book is at once a memoir, a meditation on a truly unique phenomenon of the internet age, and a motivational address for anyone seeking virtual companionship. Schulman cautions his readers against lying on their social media profiles, and argues instead for improving "offline" life. "Embrace who you really are, both online and off" is the message at the heart of his book."—Publishers Weekly
About the Author
Nev Schulman is the host of MTV's #1 series, Catfish, which 2.6 million people watch in the U.S., plus millions more worldwide in 25 other countries.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
By
bookworm123
on September 3, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
Verified Purchase
1 Comment
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First of all, kudos to Nev for the releasing of this really personal and interesting book. I have to admit that I didn't really know the story of Nev, at all. I'd seen a couple of Catfish episodes, but I had no idea there was such a moving story behind it all. If you're familiar with his previous work, and the TV show then you know what this is about. But I'd really like to say, that this is the perfect book for someone like me. If you've ever been catfished, or had anything similar happen to you, you MUST read this. I was instantly hooked, because since the very beginning of the introduction, I could already relate to all of it. And it just gets better and better. It really does feel like a really long, detailed and honest conversation with Nev. I could see myself in every single page, my story and his, so similar it certain ways. And I know this has happened to A LOT of people out there. Well, no wonder the show's on for its 4th season. And that is only a very little amount of people that have gone through it. You can only imagine how many more have gone through it too and are probably too embarrassed to tell anyone.
The book itself is written in a very personal way, very honest and just straightforward. I found it really hard to disengage at any point, I just kept going until I finished. After reading it, I can really say my whole point of view regarding all online relationships and our ways of communicating through social media, have completely changed. Besides from narrating his personal catfish experience, Nev really goes all out explaining how these social media online relationships work and all the basics, the do's and the dont's; But mainly, the importance of engaging in an offline relationship rather than an online relationship.Read more ›
The book itself is written in a very personal way, very honest and just straightforward. I found it really hard to disengage at any point, I just kept going until I finished. After reading it, I can really say my whole point of view regarding all online relationships and our ways of communicating through social media, have completely changed. Besides from narrating his personal catfish experience, Nev really goes all out explaining how these social media online relationships work and all the basics, the do's and the dont's; But mainly, the importance of engaging in an offline relationship rather than an online relationship.Read more ›
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By
Sierra K. Sorrell
on September 18, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
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I've been a fan of Nev's work since I saw Catfish (the documentary) so when I heard that he was writing a book, I immediately planned to read it. No questions asked. I didn't care what it was about...if Nev wrote it, then it'll be interesting, right?
I didn't really know what to expect but by the title, I figured it would be a sort of thesis about online relationships--romantic and otherwise. As a happily married 30-something who has never done any online dating and uses social media strictly to keep in touch with people I actually know, I don't really have a personal stake in the topic. But I'm still interested in what he has to say on the subject because there's no doubt that social media has shaped the way we interact with the world around us. And Nev has proven himself qualified to comment on this societal change, given his personal history and current job as host of Catfish: The TV Show.
In the book, Nev mentions that we must all make responsible decisions online. He discusses a few examples of negative, mean things that people regularly do online that should avoid, including "posting a nasty book review." (I see what you did there, Mr. Schulman...) So I hope this review doesn't come across to anyone as unnecessarily critical. But...
The first thing I noticed is that he writes as he speaks. From page one, I felt like he's having a conversation with his readers...kicking back, sharing a pizza and some beers. I like that! But I quickly realized that he doesn't seem to know who he's talking to. The book is a hybrid jumble of three topics that aren't pieced together in an especially cohesive way and may even be geared toward three different audiences.Read more ›
I didn't really know what to expect but by the title, I figured it would be a sort of thesis about online relationships--romantic and otherwise. As a happily married 30-something who has never done any online dating and uses social media strictly to keep in touch with people I actually know, I don't really have a personal stake in the topic. But I'm still interested in what he has to say on the subject because there's no doubt that social media has shaped the way we interact with the world around us. And Nev has proven himself qualified to comment on this societal change, given his personal history and current job as host of Catfish: The TV Show.
In the book, Nev mentions that we must all make responsible decisions online. He discusses a few examples of negative, mean things that people regularly do online that should avoid, including "posting a nasty book review." (I see what you did there, Mr. Schulman...) So I hope this review doesn't come across to anyone as unnecessarily critical. But...
The first thing I noticed is that he writes as he speaks. From page one, I felt like he's having a conversation with his readers...kicking back, sharing a pizza and some beers. I like that! But I quickly realized that he doesn't seem to know who he's talking to. The book is a hybrid jumble of three topics that aren't pieced together in an especially cohesive way and may even be geared toward three different audiences.Read more ›
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By
Jare
on September 22, 2014
Format: Paperback
Comment
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I'm torn on this one. On the surface, it is a fun inside behind the scenes look at the documentary and later TV show Catfish. Fans of either should really enjoy some of the insider information here. Luckily, there is more to this book than that. Schulman poses some thought provoking questions about how we interact with one another, and for that matter, with the entire world, via social media. At times, the book felt really basic, like it was written for young teens, to the point of almost being condescending:
"And yet, pretending to be successful is not the same thing as being successful."
You have to realize that Catfish is a show on MTV, a network that is viewed primarily by teens. So, that being said, a book written in part about a show on that network will have to be written in a more basic tone than what you may normally expect of one analyzing the philosophies of social media and human interaction. This is what kept me from giving the book 4 stars.
I have to admit that there were multiple moments in the book, when the author would comment on just how frequently we check our phones, Facebook, and the like, that I had to snicker because I was reading the book right after having set it down to check my phone! And was Schulman troll baiting when he talks about our culture of negativity and includes reference to "posting a nasty book review on Goodreads"?
All in all, I'm glad I read the book, and have some things to think about. Funny enough, I was expecting to learn more about the subject of Catfish, and what drives people to instigate and to fall for that. I got a lot more, actually some internal review of just how I myself interact with social media and the real world! I do hope this book gets some press and sparks some dialogue on these issues!
"Everywhere that we have access to social media, people are just not spending enough time in real life anymore." -- Nev Schulman
"And yet, pretending to be successful is not the same thing as being successful."
You have to realize that Catfish is a show on MTV, a network that is viewed primarily by teens. So, that being said, a book written in part about a show on that network will have to be written in a more basic tone than what you may normally expect of one analyzing the philosophies of social media and human interaction. This is what kept me from giving the book 4 stars.
I have to admit that there were multiple moments in the book, when the author would comment on just how frequently we check our phones, Facebook, and the like, that I had to snicker because I was reading the book right after having set it down to check my phone! And was Schulman troll baiting when he talks about our culture of negativity and includes reference to "posting a nasty book review on Goodreads"?
All in all, I'm glad I read the book, and have some things to think about. Funny enough, I was expecting to learn more about the subject of Catfish, and what drives people to instigate and to fall for that. I got a lot more, actually some internal review of just how I myself interact with social media and the real world! I do hope this book gets some press and sparks some dialogue on these issues!
"Everywhere that we have access to social media, people are just not spending enough time in real life anymore." -- Nev Schulman
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