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Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island Paperback – August 6, 2013
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Riveting reading from start to finish… Never once does she flinch from the terrible truths with which she has lived and so courageously reveals here. (Kirkus Reviews)
Courageous and fascinating, written with a descriptive restraint that recalls moments of tragedy and perseverance with simplicity and subtlety… Calcaterra concludes her story with the genuine sentiment that ‘we all have to believe.’ At the end of this unforgettable book, readers will. (Publishers Weekly)
Courageous and fascinating, written with a descriptive restraint that recalls moments of tragedy and perseverance with simplicity and subtlety… Calcaterra concludes her story with the genuine sentiment that ‘we all have to believe.’ At the end of this unforgettable book, readers will. (Publishers Weekly)
From the Back Cover
In this story of perseverance in the face of adversity, Regina Calcaterra recounts her childhood in foster care and on the streets—and how she and her savvy crew of homeless siblings managed to survive years of homelessness, abandonment, and abuse
Regina Calcaterra's emotionally powerful memoir reveals how she endured a series of foster homes and intermittent homelessness in the shadow of the Hamptons, and how she rose above her past while fighting to keep her brother and three sisters together.
Beautifully written and heartbreakingly honest, Etched in Sand is an unforgettable reminder that regardless of social status, the American dream is still within reach for those who have the desire and the determination to succeed.
More About the Author
Etched in Sand's early success has led to Regina becoming a New York Times Best Selling Author just 3 weeks after its release and in May/June 2014 rose to No. 2 on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal's Non-Fiction E-Books Best Sellers lists and No. 6 on the New York Times Combined and Print Best Sellers list and has remained on the lists for 12 consecutive weeks (May/August 2014). Etched in Sand has also been nominated for First Year Experience where universities and colleges will be considering it as first year reading for incoming freshman.
For the past twenty-five years Regina has spent her policy, managerial and legal career in both the private and public sector. She is presently an attorney working for the State of New York.
Regina recently served as Executive Director of of the NYS Governor's Moreland Commission on Utility Storm Preparation and Response which investigated the response and preparation of New York's power utility companies with respect to several major storms impacting the State including Hurricanes Sandy.
Regina's state appointment rose from her position as Chief Deputy to Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone where she assisted him in managing the day-to-day operations of the county and managed the county's response and immediate recovery to Superstorm Sandy.
The majority of Regina's private sector experience was as a partner to Barrack, Rodos & Bacine, an internationally recognized securities litigation firm where she represented defrauded public and labor pension funds from those who committed corporate fraud on Wall Street.
Regina has been the recipient of several honors and awards including being honored by the Children of Bellevue, Chair and famed chef Tom Collichio for serving as a role model for foster children, and receiving the Speak Out for a Child Award from CASA-NYC and the Maxine Postal Humanitarian Award, the East End Women's Network Woman of the Year Award and the Geraldine Ferraro Award of Courage. For over a decade Regina served as a frequent commentator of policy and politics on FoxNews, CNBC, Fox 5 and and also contributed op-eds to Newsday and other media outlets on national and local issues. She proudly serves as a Vice President of the Board to You Gotta Believe, an organization that works towards finding older foster children forever homes.
She is a graduate of SUNY New Paltz and Seton Hall University School of Law and is admitted to practice law in the State of New York, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the Eastern and Southern US District Courts.
For the past twenty-five years Regina has spent her policy, managerial and legal career in both the private and public sector. She is presently an attorney working for the State of New York.
Regina recently served as Executive Director of of the NYS Governor's Moreland Commission on Utility Storm Preparation and Response which investigated the response and preparation of New York's power utility companies with respect to several major storms impacting the State including Hurricanes Sandy.
Regina's state appointment rose from her position as Chief Deputy to Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone where she assisted him in managing the day-to-day operations of the county and managed the county's response and immediate recovery to Superstorm Sandy.
The majority of Regina's private sector experience was as a partner to Barrack, Rodos & Bacine, an internationally recognized securities litigation firm where she represented defrauded public and labor pension funds from those who committed corporate fraud on Wall Street.
Regina has been the recipient of several honors and awards including being honored by the Children of Bellevue, Chair and famed chef Tom Collichio for serving as a role model for foster children, and receiving the Speak Out for a Child Award from CASA-NYC and the Maxine Postal Humanitarian Award, the East End Women's Network Woman of the Year Award and the Geraldine Ferraro Award of Courage. For over a decade Regina served as a frequent commentator of policy and politics on FoxNews, CNBC, Fox 5 and and also contributed op-eds to Newsday and other media outlets on national and local issues. She proudly serves as a Vice President of the Board to You Gotta Believe, an organization that works towards finding older foster children forever homes.
She is a graduate of SUNY New Paltz and Seton Hall University School of Law and is admitted to practice law in the State of New York, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the Eastern and Southern US District Courts.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
124 of 128 people found the following review helpful
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Debra
VINE VOICE on June 9, 2013
Format: Paperback
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I went to graduate school to become a therapist and read about and came across many sad and disturbing stories. I've read other memoirs along these lines as well, but this is by far the most incredible abuse I've ever read about. My jaw dropped over what she went through repeatedly throughout the book. What's even more amazing is the bond she shares with her siblings as they all seek to survive, and how they all come together. It's a powerful story of overcoming incredible odds.
As a book, the writing is amazing. She uses flashbacks beautifully and is able to change tenses with ease. I never once got lost with chronology, which is easy to do when people use techniques like this. The book almost never drags. There's a time toward the end where it slows down a little, but that's a welcome change after the intensity throughout the rest of the book.
It was aslo incredibly honest without being gruesome. There's nothing that's added for shock value - it is just her honest portrayal of what happened to her. At one point she even glosses over what perhaps was the most severe abuse the encountered. She does come across as a little self-promoting toward the end, but she definitely earned that liberty and far more.
I walked away feeling disgusted with the child welfare system (which I was anyway as a foster parent), but also so thankful for what I had growing up (even though it wasn't always great) and even more thankful for what I'm able to give my children. This is a story that will encourage and inspire anyone. I highly recommend it.
As a book, the writing is amazing. She uses flashbacks beautifully and is able to change tenses with ease. I never once got lost with chronology, which is easy to do when people use techniques like this. The book almost never drags. There's a time toward the end where it slows down a little, but that's a welcome change after the intensity throughout the rest of the book.
It was aslo incredibly honest without being gruesome. There's nothing that's added for shock value - it is just her honest portrayal of what happened to her. At one point she even glosses over what perhaps was the most severe abuse the encountered. She does come across as a little self-promoting toward the end, but she definitely earned that liberty and far more.
I walked away feeling disgusted with the child welfare system (which I was anyway as a foster parent), but also so thankful for what I had growing up (even though it wasn't always great) and even more thankful for what I'm able to give my children. This is a story that will encourage and inspire anyone. I highly recommend it.
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41 of 43 people found the following review helpful
By
QueenKatieMae
VINE VOICE on June 17, 2013
Format: Paperback
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Regina Calcaterra's powerful memoir, Etched In Sand, begins with her flying over the ravaged neighborhoods of Long Island following the hurricane, Super Storm Sandy. As chief deputy executive of Suffolk County, it is Regina Calcaterra's job to regulate, not just post-disaster funding, but any government resources her county receives. Calcaterra's career in public service is not accidental; growing up with four siblings and an abusive, neglectful, alcoholic mother and an ineffective foster child system, Regina was determined to make a difference. Despite the extreme poverty and constant abuse from her mother, a fragmented education and unpredictable housing, Regina was able to help raise herself, and her siblings, to become stable adults and parents. The story as to how Regina grew up to be the person she is today is candidly written and absolutely heartbreaking.
Regina and her older sister, Camille, were the true parents of the five children. Every time their mother, whom they all called Cookie, found subsidized housing in either a cockroach-infested house or even an apartment above a glue factory, they knew it was only a matter of time until the landlord would kick them out for not paying rent. Traveling from house to house using garbage bags to carry their clothing, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide to finger brush their teeth, a half bar of soap to wash themselves and their dishes, the girls were always on the alert to sneak out in the middle of the night when threatened with eviction. As most of their welfare checks went towards paying for Cookie's beer and cigarettes, the children learned how to shoplift food and live off of the kindness of strangers.Read more ›
Regina and her older sister, Camille, were the true parents of the five children. Every time their mother, whom they all called Cookie, found subsidized housing in either a cockroach-infested house or even an apartment above a glue factory, they knew it was only a matter of time until the landlord would kick them out for not paying rent. Traveling from house to house using garbage bags to carry their clothing, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide to finger brush their teeth, a half bar of soap to wash themselves and their dishes, the girls were always on the alert to sneak out in the middle of the night when threatened with eviction. As most of their welfare checks went towards paying for Cookie's beer and cigarettes, the children learned how to shoplift food and live off of the kindness of strangers.Read more ›
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61 of 68 people found the following review helpful
By
C. Yates
VINE VOICE on May 27, 2013
Format: Paperback
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ETCHED IN SAND is a true story about five siblings who struggled through childhood by taking care of each other and 'raising themselves'. Regina Calcaterra is a first time author who shares her painful story to help others overcome!! The story is set in Manhattan and the Hamptons where one does not expect to find such horror. Calcaterra is now a lawyer and activist for the 'underdog'..she sees many in our society nationwide. Foster care is one of the big problems she attempts to resolve since she experienced first hand how it works...and does NOT work. While still in her teens she fought many battles with foster care in particular with trying to have her younger siblings have a better life than she and her two older siblings had lived...hunger, sleeping in cars, sleeping in motels that her mother's men provided, etc; living inhouses with no heat, no water, etc; no food, stealing food, working outrageous hours for food, always making sure her siblings had food even when she did not. This is a heart rendering true story of today's youth with parents who refuse to parent. It is also a true story of the fight to survive and the strong bond of siblings knowing they are on their own. A marvelous read that you will not want to put down. I got my copy from Amazon and you can too.
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41 of 45 people found the following review helpful
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Trudie Barreras
TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on July 30, 2013
Format: Paperback
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Two adjectives that immediately spring to mind while reading this book are "stark" and "searing". It is stark in its descriptiveness of the abuse and neglect Regina and her siblings endured, and searing in the indictment of the failures of the social services networks and foster care systems that were seemingly totally incompetent in dealing with these circumstances.
There are several things that make Calcaterra's memoir unique in the genre of "abused child" narratives. Obviously, first and foremost, is the fact that it is the story of an entire family which survived the almost unbelievable brutality of an insane and addicted parent without themselves succumbing to insanity and addiction. This would seem, given our current cultural mystique, totally miraculous. Then, although there were a few bright spots in terms of caring, helpful adults among the teachers and foster parents who occasionally intervened in the lives of Regina and her siblings, the stunning central fact is that - as the author says - the kids literally raised themselves and each other. Finally, although one brief mention is made of the possibility of sexual abuse perpetrated by one of Cookie's men, it is NOT the theme here; somehow, perhaps because child molestation has become such a "hot topic" in recent times, I believe it has tended to overshadow the much more prevalent issue of physical abuse and neglect. Calcaterra also makes it clear that while the neglect of others, including the children's' fathers, exacerbated their mother's abusiveness, Cookie was indeed the sole perpetrator of the beatings and other vicious acts of violence.
Of course, the story ends triumphantly. Regina and her sisters and brother not only survive, but thrive.Read more ›
There are several things that make Calcaterra's memoir unique in the genre of "abused child" narratives. Obviously, first and foremost, is the fact that it is the story of an entire family which survived the almost unbelievable brutality of an insane and addicted parent without themselves succumbing to insanity and addiction. This would seem, given our current cultural mystique, totally miraculous. Then, although there were a few bright spots in terms of caring, helpful adults among the teachers and foster parents who occasionally intervened in the lives of Regina and her siblings, the stunning central fact is that - as the author says - the kids literally raised themselves and each other. Finally, although one brief mention is made of the possibility of sexual abuse perpetrated by one of Cookie's men, it is NOT the theme here; somehow, perhaps because child molestation has become such a "hot topic" in recent times, I believe it has tended to overshadow the much more prevalent issue of physical abuse and neglect. Calcaterra also makes it clear that while the neglect of others, including the children's' fathers, exacerbated their mother's abusiveness, Cookie was indeed the sole perpetrator of the beatings and other vicious acts of violence.
Of course, the story ends triumphantly. Regina and her sisters and brother not only survive, but thrive.Read more ›
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