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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Paperback – December 29, 2009
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Handler proves the adage that just because one can, doesn't mean one should. This applies to both her role as a writer and a narrator. In this disjointed collection of memories and experiences, even her overenthusiastic voice cannot compensate for the irrelevance and frivolousness that is this book. Her anecdotes cover a range of topics from sex to sibling rivalry to parental humiliation, all showcasing how smart and witty she can be-in hindsight. Whether rambling about how she's freaked out by red-headed men or bemoaning her arrest and short stint in prison, her attempts to be funny fall flat and her valley-girl persona wears quickly on listeners. Her lively voice has the potential to do well with audiobooks, but the overall tone and ecstatic energy she emits only emphasizes the inconsequential prose. Listeners might find themselves asking for Vodka to help reach the end of this production. A Simon & Schuster hardcover.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.
Review
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds."
-- Jennifer Weiner, bestselling author of In Her Shoes
"Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin...She seems like a cruel queen bee from an expensive college: There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how her jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers's bad-girl school: Tina Fey."
-- New York Times
"Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler's life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words."
-- Liz Smith, New York Post
"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer."
-- Jay Leno
-- Jennifer Weiner, bestselling author of In Her Shoes
"Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin...She seems like a cruel queen bee from an expensive college: There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how her jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers's bad-girl school: Tina Fey."
-- New York Times
"Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler's life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words."
-- Liz Smith, New York Post
"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer."
-- Jay Leno
More About the Author
Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She is the star of her own late-night show on E!, Chelsea Lately; was one of the stars of Girls Behaving Badly; has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with David Letterman; and has starred in her own half-hour Comedy Central special. Chelsea makes regular appearances in comedy clubs across America and lives in Los Angeles.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
302 of 337 people found the following review helpful
By
D. Buxman
TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on April 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
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3 Comments
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I actually bought this book for my wife, since she had enjoyed Chelsea Handler's previous book, "My Horizontal Life." When the book arrived yesterday, I picked it up to peruse it and I couldn't put it down. This book is laugh-out-loud funny. The book contains stories from the author's life from around the age of 9 through adulthood that are funny from the perspective of men and women alike. As should be clear from the title, this book isn't for kids and the content can be pretty racy. If you aren't easily offended, however, it will probably be the most humorous book you read this year. I'd give it more than 5 stars if I could.
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176 of 214 people found the following review helpful
By
Vince A.
on July 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
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Note to Kindle owners - download the first chapter of the book. If the first chapter makes you laugh then you may enjoy the book. If you're not laughing at that point it doesn't get much better.
I've just finished reading the book and it was one of the hardest times I've ever had finishing a book. Although there are a few laughs here and there, the book wasn't hilarious to say the least. You might laugh once and then wait another chapter or three before the next one comes along. I bought the book because of all of the "rave - laugh out loud" reviews I saw from other readers.
I didn't have a problem with the language, the off-color humor or any of the "offensive" things that were said in the book - it was just boring and not funny. What made it even worse is when some of the gags were used multiple times. For example in one story someone looks like they have Buckwheat in a leg-lock, a few chapters later someone looks like they have a clown in a leg-lock. Again, I was compelled to review this book because I couldn't believe so many people rated it 5-stars. I like her on TV, but the book was a snoozer.
I've just finished reading the book and it was one of the hardest times I've ever had finishing a book. Although there are a few laughs here and there, the book wasn't hilarious to say the least. You might laugh once and then wait another chapter or three before the next one comes along. I bought the book because of all of the "rave - laugh out loud" reviews I saw from other readers.
I didn't have a problem with the language, the off-color humor or any of the "offensive" things that were said in the book - it was just boring and not funny. What made it even worse is when some of the gags were used multiple times. For example in one story someone looks like they have Buckwheat in a leg-lock, a few chapters later someone looks like they have a clown in a leg-lock. Again, I was compelled to review this book because I couldn't believe so many people rated it 5-stars. I like her on TV, but the book was a snoozer.
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66 of 79 people found the following review helpful
By
Yinzer Grrl
on April 21, 2011
Format: Paperback
6 Comments
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Chelsea is touted as one of the top comedy writers in the industry. This book is touted as "hilarious."
HOW can that BE?
At best, I may have smiled a time or two in the first few chapters (and honestly, that's as far as I got). What bothered me the most? She'd reference certain periods of time and consistently got facts wrong.
The book opens in 1984 with her lying to a boy about being a movie actress, in which she claims to have read everything about the making of the Breakfast Club. Odd, since that movie wasn't released until 1985. She finds herself in prison at the age of 21 (1996), wondering if they have Internet there. Odd, since, in 1996 most people had only a slight grasp of the internet (via AOL) and since it wasn't the easiest thing to navigate back then, the only ones addicted to it were geeks. During the strip search, she claims no one laughed at her "junk in the trunk" reference. Well that's most likely because no one USED that phrase back then. She goes on to say that after her release from prison, she'd (sarcastically) planned on researching the name of the woman for whom the jail was named, by googling it. Um. Come ON. There WAS no Google in 1996.
So is the entire book just a poorly written, poorly researched lie? How did this end up on ANY bestseller list? I couldn't take any more and stopped reading. I'll donate it. Maybe someone somewhere needs a good door stop.
HOW can that BE?
At best, I may have smiled a time or two in the first few chapters (and honestly, that's as far as I got). What bothered me the most? She'd reference certain periods of time and consistently got facts wrong.
The book opens in 1984 with her lying to a boy about being a movie actress, in which she claims to have read everything about the making of the Breakfast Club. Odd, since that movie wasn't released until 1985. She finds herself in prison at the age of 21 (1996), wondering if they have Internet there. Odd, since, in 1996 most people had only a slight grasp of the internet (via AOL) and since it wasn't the easiest thing to navigate back then, the only ones addicted to it were geeks. During the strip search, she claims no one laughed at her "junk in the trunk" reference. Well that's most likely because no one USED that phrase back then. She goes on to say that after her release from prison, she'd (sarcastically) planned on researching the name of the woman for whom the jail was named, by googling it. Um. Come ON. There WAS no Google in 1996.
So is the entire book just a poorly written, poorly researched lie? How did this end up on ANY bestseller list? I couldn't take any more and stopped reading. I'll donate it. Maybe someone somewhere needs a good door stop.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
By
L. D. Merkl
on May 17, 2009
Format: Hardcover
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The first story in this memoir begins when CH is seven and the last one is when she's in her thirties. There's her adventures in babysitting; her I-don't-want-to-go-to-someone's-party story; the midget story; and one where she takes her dad on vacay. I read this thinking she would have the "Seinfeld" gift of taking the mundane and making it funny (Jerry turned waiting for table at a Chinese restaurant and losing your car in a garage into comedy gold). She doesn't. CH took the mundane and kept it that there. Maybe these stories are funny when you're drunk and she's slurring them to you. Also, her L.A Sex and the City life seems kind of sad and seedy. Some of these stories make her come off as plain mean. She's funnier on TV.
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104 of 131 people found the following review helpful
By
Laura Jean
on May 3, 2008
Format: Hardcover
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6 Comments
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Let me first be clear that I love Chelsea Handler. I DVR her show every night, I've even been to a taping in her studio and I even have tickets to her upcoming standup appearance.
Her first book was hilarious, but this one just misses the mark. Yes, there were a handful of times that I burst out laughing - she is a brilliant comedian. But the book is extremely disjointed and it was a struggle to see it through to the end. Was she just trying to fill up space? And why is Chuey all over the cover (my guess - to sell books) he's not mentioned once in the book (except for in the Acknowledgements).
I really can't figure out if she tried too hard, or didn't try hard enough.
Blah...I recommend saving your money. Sorry Chels...
Her first book was hilarious, but this one just misses the mark. Yes, there were a handful of times that I burst out laughing - she is a brilliant comedian. But the book is extremely disjointed and it was a struggle to see it through to the end. Was she just trying to fill up space? And why is Chuey all over the cover (my guess - to sell books) he's not mentioned once in the book (except for in the Acknowledgements).
I really can't figure out if she tried too hard, or didn't try hard enough.
Blah...I recommend saving your money. Sorry Chels...
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65 of 81 people found the following review helpful
By
Harvey
on May 4, 2008
Format: Kindle Edition
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This is a laugh-out-loud book, great for the beach, not so good for a plane where your laughing will wake babies and make the other passengers jealous they don't have a copy. I got mine for my Kindle and I read it in one sitting. Seriously, pretty freaking funny.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful
By
kat
on August 25, 2008
Format: Hardcover
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I watch Handler's show from time to time, and I find her to be funny and entertaining, which is why I bought this book. I unfortunately I found it to be neither.
She's all over the place, skipping around, throwing out random scenarios, with nothing to tie them together. And then the book ends just as randomly.
It seemed like she was trying to hard too be funny. The situations should be funny, but the writing is just so poor, and the stories are just plain wierd. They have the feel of not-quite-fiction but not-quite-fact. It's not that I was offended by her humor, or crassness, I just don't think she pulled it off the jokes in this book. Its poorly delivered.
Please keep in mind, I was not looking for fine literature or well-developed prose. I just wanted some cheap laughs. I might have laughed twice.
I am honeslty surprised someone published this book.
Save your money, don't buy it.
She's all over the place, skipping around, throwing out random scenarios, with nothing to tie them together. And then the book ends just as randomly.
It seemed like she was trying to hard too be funny. The situations should be funny, but the writing is just so poor, and the stories are just plain wierd. They have the feel of not-quite-fiction but not-quite-fact. It's not that I was offended by her humor, or crassness, I just don't think she pulled it off the jokes in this book. Its poorly delivered.
Please keep in mind, I was not looking for fine literature or well-developed prose. I just wanted some cheap laughs. I might have laughed twice.
I am honeslty surprised someone published this book.
Save your money, don't buy it.
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