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Now I See You: A Memoir Hardcover – June 24, 2014


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press (June 24, 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1250026563
  • ISBN-13: 978-1250026569
  • Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.6 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (102 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,413 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

A laugh-out-loud memoir about going blind? Yes, that’s what Kear presents as she recounts how, after her sophomore year at Yale, she was diagnosed with a degenerative retinal disease and told she will lose her eyesight in just 10 to 15 more years. She worries about having kids: “How could I change dirty diapers or bandage scrapes if I couldn’t see?” Her response is rebellious. She smokes, even though her doctor tells her it will make her vision worse. She also sleeps around (a lot), drives (badly), and avoids telling even close friends about her deteriorating vision. Eventually, she marries an understanding man (who occasionally balks at being her “seeing-eye guy”) and becomes a mom. Kear is earthy and daringly frank in this never-boring, unusually illuminating account of living with diminishing sight as she, ultimately, takes a refreshingly glass-half-full approach to life. “The wonderful thing about going blind is that along with the beautiful sights, you miss unattractive ones, too. You won’t see your crow’s feet.” Funny and poignant. --Karen Springen

Review

"Her story is spunky and full of a zest for life that will open the eyes of readers to the little joys of the world. A tender memoir about love, life and going blind." —Kirkus Reviews

“Kear is earthy and daringly frank in this never-boring, unusually illuminating account of living with diminishing sight as she, ultimately, takes a refreshingly glass-half-full approach to life. ‘The wonderful thing about going blind is that along with the beautiful sights, you miss unattractive ones, too. You won’t see your crow’s feet.’ Funny and poignant.”—Booklist

"Hilarious and profoundly heartwarming. Now I See You will change the way you see the world." —Kimberly McCreight, New York Times bestselling author of Reconstructing Amelia

"It's too easy to praise a memoir about disability for its courage. Nicole Kear is much more than brave - she's sassy, stylish, defiant and funny." —Domenica Ruta, New York Times bestselling author of With or Without You

 

"The only thing truly dark about Nicole C. Kear’s memoir is her sense of humor. Whether she’s saying goodbye to high heels, dimly-lit bars and one big secret, or hello to a loving family, you will cheer for her every precarious step of the way."—Jenny Bowman, Glamour

 

"You wouldn't think a story about going blind would be much fun to read. Now I See You is moving, beautifully crafted, and unexpectedly hilarious. I didn't want this book to end." —Alice Bradley, author of Let's Panic About Babies

"In this fine account, by turns poignant and funny, Kear describes how she banished that specter and dealt successfully with the growing darkness." —Yale Alumni Magazine


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Customer Reviews

This book will have you laughing and crying.
silhouette_of_enchantment
There is also a fair amount of profanity, which adds to both the gravity of the book as well as the humor.
Michael Kear
Great story about a woman who has a lot to teach us all about living life.
kacunnin

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By kacunnin TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on March 28, 2014
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
Nicole C. Kear's NOW I SEE YOU is a funny, sad, terrifying, and uplifting memoir about her very personal battle with a degenerative eye disease. Nicole was nineteen when a doctor diagnosed her with retinitis pigmentosa (RP), an untreatable genetic condition that would render her blind within fifteen years. She went from being a normal college student fretting over things like boyfriends and disappointing jobs to worrying about what would happen to the rest of her life - would her condition mean she couldn't be an actress, couldn't get married, couldn't have children, couldn't function in the world like everyone else? For the first few years after her diagnosis, Nicole did the best she could to hide her deteriorating vision, even going so far as to pretend intoxication to cover up all-too-frequent clumsiness. NOW I SEE YOU explores Nicole's journey from denial to acceptance, from fear to affirmation that truly living requires courage, honesty, and a willingness to embrace the challenges we face.

Much of Nicole's story is very familiar and recognizable - my guess is just about every woman on the face of the earth can identify with her boyfriend issues, her sexual exploration, her hysterical Italian family, her marriage, and her pregnancies. Her first labor (with son Lorenzo) was so like my own (including the prolonged contractions and the eventual epidural) that as I was reading I forgot all about her slowly failing vision. This was a young woman who reminded me of myself - albeit thirty-five years ago! And in many ways, that's the heart of this story. Nicole has an incurable disease and she will be blind by the time she herself is thirty-five, but she's also a woman with a world of things to experience.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By RobynJC VINE VOICE on May 26, 2014
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
As a sophomore at Yale interning in a prestigious summer program, she should have it all, but Nicole is heartbroken. Her boyfriend just dumped her and she can't stop crying, even though her family's nickname for him was "lady legs." She is barely paying any attention to the stupid doctor's appointment she has to check off her list - until the doctor tells her, first, "don't kill the messenger" and second, "you're going blind." She doesn't have ten years left to live - but she does have ten years left to see.

It's not that what happens afterwards is surprising: there is sorrow, and denial, and a rash of bad decisions, and bumping into things. Lots of bumping into things. Ultimately there is true love, of many kinds, and courage, and acceptance. It's not the facts of the story that are surprising, but Nicole is a wonderful person with whom to spend some time. She is hysterically funny, first off. She is self-deprecating and NOT self-pitying. She doesn't always handle her problems well, but she is relatable and engaging. The way she comes to terms with her hardships - and the way she ultimately realizes that everyone has hardships; blindness is hers - is poignant and feels authentic and earned. I liked her very much and I enjoyed the time spent in her company. A definite fun, light, worthwhile read.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By A reader VINE VOICE on June 10, 2014
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Nicole C. Kear's book was not the easiest to get through. She doesn't mince words in expressing her shock, outrage, and terror at the enormity of her diagnosis and the insensitivity of some medical professionals, not to mention the world and people around her.

Kear's bristling anger and rebelliousness were hard to read about; yet, returning to this book a while after finishing it, I realize that I gained so much insight from reading it. Kear shows us what it is like to live with approaching blindness, to know from the tender age of 19 (!!!) that this is happening, to be powerless to change the situation, and to feel a blazing determination to live a full life in spite of it all. She helps us understand her impulse to both hide and hide from the condition, to run fast while things were easier for her, and to act out her frustration in numerous ways. We gain a sense of what it is like to face such difficulties alone, emotionally unable to ask for assistance. The book helped me understand similar reactions in people I have known.

I must admit that despite Kear's sense of humor, the frequent use of the "f" word and lots of others like it can become tiresome, though her impulse to use it in her circumstances is understandable. Her emerging insight and tenderness are a welcome addition as the book progresses.

All in all this is a good though bumpy read. Recommended, especially to people who have had something onerous in their past or future and have felt the need to camouflage it whitewash it, and somehow live around it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Debra VINE VOICE on April 22, 2014
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
Hands down, this is one of the best memoirs I've ever read. I've been far too up close to a degenerative condition and I really appreciated her own experience with denial and trying to live life as normally as you can until you can't anymore. Her sense of wit and humor is laugh out loud funny, without being trite. The way she uses humor to cope is compelling - it doesn't soften the blow, but it does help you find joy in the tragedy.

It's a very quick read without being dumbed down and what she includes in the book is perfect for length, depth and clarity. She covers just enough to make you feel, but not so much as to make you bored.

More than anything, I really appreciated her reflections on motherhood. Being a mom changed her in the same way it changed me, and her writing made me tear up more than once (in a happy way). It certainly made me hug my kids a little tighter, and appreciate seeing a whole lot more. This is a must read for every mom who needs to remember how blessed they are.
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