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Part tell-all, part cautionary tale, this emotionally charged memoir from a former video vixen nicknamed 'Superhead' goes beyond the glamour of celebrity to reveal the inner workings of the hip-hop dancer industry—from the physical and emotional abuse that's rampant in the industry, and which marked her own life—to the excessive use of drugs, sex and bling.
Once the sought-after video girl, this sexy siren has helped multi-platinum artists, such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly and LL Cool J, sell millions of albums with her sensual dancing. In a word, Karrine was H-O-T. So hot that she made as much as $2500 a day in videos and was selected by well-known film director F. Gary Gray to co-star in his film, A Man Apart, starring Vin Diesel. But the film and music video sets, swanky Hollywood and New York restaurants and trysts with the celebrities featured in the pages of People and In Touch magazines only touches the surface of Karrine Steffans' life.
Her journey is filled with physical abuse, rape, drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness and single motherhood—all by the age of 26. By sharing her story, Steffans hopes to shed light on an otherwise romanticised industry and help young women avoid the same pitfalls she encountered. If they're already in danger, she hopes to inspire them to find a way to dig themselves out of what she knows first-hand to be a cycle of hopelessness and despair.
Chapter One
Death and Life
October 2001. I was lying on the hard, cold floor in the bathroom of the famous Chinese bistro Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills. It is one of the most upscale and renowned restaurants in the world, yet I was at the lowest point of my life. With my head next to the toilet, I was alone, in debt, with no friends and no hope.
It had been a long, hard trip that led to this fall. It was a wild roller-coaster ride which included some of the hottest names in hip hop and Hollywood. For two years I rode it out. I was in the middle of it all--dining with P. Diddy, partying with Vin Diesel, going one-on-one with Shaquille O'Neal.
I had money, three cars, a condo in a prestigious neighborhood, a nanny for my son. I had starred in some of the hottest music videos with Jay-Z, LL Cool J, Ja Rule, and Ludacris. I had even costarred in the blockbuster film A Man Apart, opposite Vin Diesel. But here I lay on a cold bathroom floor, hugging the toilet's frigid porcelain, completely hopeless. I was broke, homeless, and probably dying.
The last thing I remembered was my body shaking violently as I sat on the toilet with my head in my hands and my friend Eva hovering over me asking me if I was okay. But now I was on the floor and she was gone. Can I move? was the only thought swirling through my head.
I tried to saysomething to make sure I was alive. I couldn't. I tried to move my leg, and it worked. I stood up gingerly and made my way to the sink. I looked around the small, one-stall bathroom. It was dimly lit and tiny, yet elegant. I held on to the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. My pupils were fully dilated, and I could feel my knees wobbling beneath me. I splashed cold water on my face, hoping to snap out of the trouble I was so obviously in.
I looked at my jewelry and clothes. I still wore the diamond-heart pendant and the canary yellow diamond earrings that my ex-husband had given me years before. My ring and bracelet were gifts purchased at Tiffany. My long nails were perfectly French-manicured, and my hair was long and black. My skin had been tanned by the Miami sun and my eyes were gray thanks to my colored contacts. My face was made up to perfection, compliments of MAC and Chanel. My jeans were a two-hundred-dollar pair by fashion icon Marc Jacobs, and the rest of the ensemble followed suit. Everything was designer-made, from my jewelry to my makeup to the clothes I wore--even the drugs I'd consumed.
The next thing I knew, I was on the floor again. When I came to from another bout of convulsions, my tongue was swollen and bloody. I crawled up from the floor and made my way back to the sink to splash more water on my face. I desperately wanted someone to walk in and help, but no one came. I began to panic, with thoughts of the late actor River Phoenix racing through my head. Thoughts of him seizing outside of the Viper Room not too far from where I was, on Sunset Boulevard, right before dying.
I thought of how awful it would be if I died in the bathroom at Mr. Chow. I thought of the irony of it all--of the paparazzi waiting outside for Nicolas Cage and LL Cool J, who were both in the dining area eating with friends. I thought of how pretty and rich I looked, yet my life had become ugly and poor. But the most prominent thought was of my son, Naiim. My nanny hadn't heard from me in months and had no idea how to find me. No one even knew my real name or where I lived or who my family was or where I came from. To them, my name was Yizette, a name that I had made up when I was sixteen, during my years as a stripper.
I thought of Naiim and wanted to live. I thought if I screamed his name as loud as I could, God would hear me and allow me another chance at being a mother. God had to know that despite everything I had done until this point, I loved my son and I wanted to do right by him.
I stumbled to the bathroom door, opened it, and began to scream his name into the stairwell that led downstairs into the main dining area of the restaurant. I screamed his name over and over until my voice was gone ...
Excerpted from Confessions of a Video Vixen by Karrine Steffans Copyright © 2006 by Karrine Steffans. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
I've always wanted to read this book, but I was too chicken to buy it until now.
What can I say about it? Well I feel very sorry for the life Karrine had to live. Physical, mental, and emotional abuse to the point of having to run away is the worst thing that can happen to a person IMO, but this is not why I pity her.
Back to the book itself. The writing was choppy and sometimes confusing. It felt like I was reading something that a fourth grader wrote. Things were repeated over and over like she had to remind the reader of what just happened. That got annoying.
Now to the reason why I pity Karrine Steffans. Two words: child abuser! How in God's name was this woman blessed with such a beautiful child to only abandon him for months at a time while she pursued a life of sex, drugs, and hip hop?
Plus I can't stand needy women who always have their hands out for men to help them when they could (if they truly wanted to) pull themselves out and get on with their life. I almost felt like Karrine felt entitled to the money, cars, and homes that those rappers, NBA stars, and music moguls paid for.
What exactly had she done to earn all of that? Nothing substantial I can tell you that.
I don't recommend this book. It's shallow and vapid and while Steffans says she's writing it for those young women who want to get into the business I can't help, but feel like she's only doing this to deter future competition.
Hey Karrine your hayday has come and gone! Time to wrap it up and go home to your child!
15 out of 18 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.booklover02062
Posted Mon Mar 23 00:00:00 EDT 2009
I just didn't like it. She jumps around too much. It's lacks consistency. I actually returned the book!
6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Thu Jun 17 00:00:00 EDT 2010
I Also Recommend:
"Confessions." is such an amazing story. I think it was very courageous of Karrine Steffans to share her struggles; this story needed to be known. Karrine tells in "Confession..." how she started off like anybody body else except to an abusive mother and for the most part absent father. She ran away and to make money to support herself. She meets rapper Kool G Rap while stripping and her life just becomes a roller coaster of hardships. Her story has really opened my eyes. I like so many girls my age (15 yrs) dream of being rich and famous. Going to lavish parties, wearing designer shoes and clothes, the whole bit. But what "Confessions." taught me that having those aspirations are good but at what price? One chapter called "I Choose Life" was especially moving because Karrine turned to God in her time of despair to get her life back on the right track, which made me realize I need to be more in tune with my faith and so should everyone else. "Confession." was not only a good story to read but it also talks about celebrities we love and sometime envy. I learned how people who seem to have everything material wise, are empty emotionally and unhappy. To conclude, Confessions of a Video Vixen is a good story about trials, tribulations and hardships and could really inspire people like parts of the book did me.
3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.ShakespeareInLove
Posted Fri Apr 10 00:00:00 EDT 2009
I felt for her since she was young and didn't have a good upbringing...but as she indulges herself in the hollywood life, I'm sorry to say that she knew right from wrong, and she ended up using sex to get things she desired.....I'm glad to know that she straightened her life out for now, and hope she stays on the right track for her childs' sake. Glad I bought it on the bargain shelf, the only thing a teenager can really learn from this book is when she snuck out to meet boys at a young age and told her story of how she was first raped by friends of a friend. This would have frightened me enough not to want to have sex with anyone, but she used her body and sexyiness to whooh men and get extravegant gifts, before she realized they all used her.....like I said, glad she found god and changed her life. I would not recommend this book, as I quickly was glad when I got to the last page. I hate not finishing a book once I start.
3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Tue Jul 19 00:00:00 EDT 2005
I wanted this book so bad due to all the hype I heard, I read it in about 3 days. She was just all over the place with her story, in and out of everything. I did not get her big message she wanted to give to girls going through what she went through. Overall it was just a book to expose the Men in the industry. Which I did enjoy, and laughed at a few of the situations but I counted 17 men she slept with in this book and my only question is who the hell is PaPa?
3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Sun Apr 21 00:00:00 EDT 2013
Why are people are so upset about the writing in the book. I haven't read it but people should remember she ran away from home as a teenager! What makes you think she knew how to write well enough for a book?
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Tue Feb 17 00:00:00 EST 2009
With all the hype and attention this book received, I decided to buy it for myself and find out what it was all about. It was a quick read, I read the book in less than 4 hours. Although, I expected much more details, it was very insightful. You learn much about her character and her lack of self-esteem and where it all stems from. In this novel, you will also see that she is just another woman who lacks depth and confidence in herself. She describes her sex life with many celebrities and how she felt "loved" by them. Regardless of the dirt that was described in the novel, it is a very interesting read because it sheds light on her feelings as well as the disgusting men she has dealt with.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Thu May 24 00:00:00 EDT 2012
Ciao
1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Sat Dec 10 00:00:00 EST 2011
This was about more than I expected. I fell in love with this one and now im reading her next book "the vuxen diaries" Both of these books are amazing & i dont say that about too many books
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Bought as a gift for my younger sister, who is not at all into reading but loves music. She enjoyed the book and kept referring to how it started out with a story about Karrine Steffans life. I haven't read it yet myself, but if it got my non-reader sister reading, I imagine it has to be a good read.
1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Wed Aug 20 00:00:00 EDT 2008
this book was simply OKAY. I recieved this book as a X-mas gift and I really wish they would have kept the receipt! The book is simply details of a whore's adventure and her famous clientele. Nobody cares what kind of furniture Shaq picked out for you! Nobody cares that Ice-t was ur sugerdaddy! but i will say, it was interesting to read about a certain hip-hop mogul gay tendencies...i havent read the second book and i dont tend too! nice try superhead!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Fri May 18 00:00:00 EDT 2007
I read this book with a picture in mind of a strong Black woman mistreated in the entertainment business.Instead I read a book by a woman scorned by her previous escapades and revolving door of lovers. I ended up feeling sorry for her son who was being raised by his nanny and her family verses is victim playing mother. This woman gives a bad name to every woman who uses videos as a stepping ground to other things. She needs to stop placing the blame on others and own up to the fact that she is an opportunist and trying to use her sexuality to land a man to take care of her.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Fri Sep 16 00:00:00 EDT 2005
I had a rough childhood, my mother beat me, my father wasnt there for me, my dog ran away etc... Many people have had hard lives and very bad situations but they dont sex their way out of them. Dont glamourize it and or make it a lifetime movie. She had sex for money and that makes her a whore, nothing more. If you are to feel sorry for anyone feel sorry for the wives and girlfriends that she embarrassed and disrespected along with their significant others. And please dont forget her son, books stay around forever. All she's doing is getting paid double for terrible acts. I know anyone can change and I hope she does but just by her graffic details about her sexcapades makes me think she's just still about the dollar, dollar bill.
1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Posted Wed Apr 30 00:00:00 EDT 2014
Don't waste ur money ..is all I'm going to say
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Posted Thu Dec 26 00:00:00 EST 2013
Amazing
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Posted Tue Oct 15 00:00:00 EDT 2013
I loved the book. It was definitly a page turner.. The 2nd book wasnt as good as this, it was just okay. But this book was great
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Posted Fri Jun 14 00:00:00 EDT 2013
Wow thats all i can really say.....
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Posted Fri Jun 14 00:00:00 EDT 2013
Great way on giving me the details on th guys never knew gurl;)
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Posted Sat Mar 02 00:00:00 EST 2013
Good book. Would have liked more gossip and details
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Posted Sat Jan 05 00:00:00 EST 2013
But the dedication is ro her son !! Unbelievable.. but overall 5 STARS
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Overview
Part tell-all, part cautionary tale, this emotionally charged memoir from a former video vixen nicknamed 'Superhead' goes beyond the glamour of celebrity to reveal the inner workings of the hip-hop dancer industry—from the physical and emotional abuse that's rampant in the industry, and which marked her own life—to the excessive use of drugs, sex and bling.
Once the sought-after video girl, this sexy siren has helped multi-platinum artists, such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly and LL Cool J,...