Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned"

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Overview

For readers of Nora Ephron, Tina Fey, and David Sedaris, this hilarious, wise, and fiercely candid collection of personal essays establishes Lena Dunham?the acclaimed creator, producer, and star of HBO?s Girls?as one of the most original young talents writing today.
 
In Not That Kind of Girl, Dunham illuminates the experiences that are part of making one?s way in the world: falling in love, feeling alone, being ten pounds overweight ...

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Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's

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More About This Book

Overview

For readers of Nora Ephron, Tina Fey, and David Sedaris, this hilarious, wise, and fiercely candid collection of personal essays establishes Lena Dunham—the acclaimed creator, producer, and star of HBO’s Girls—as one of the most original young talents writing today.
 
In Not That Kind of Girl, Dunham illuminates the experiences that are part of making one’s way in the world: falling in love, feeling alone, being ten pounds overweight despite eating only health food, having to prove yourself in a room full of men twice your age, finding true love, and most of all, having the guts to believe that your story is one that deserves to be told.
 
“Take My Virginity (No Really, Take It)” is the account of Dunham’s first time, and how her expectations of sex didn’t quite live up to the actual event (“No floodgate had been opened, no vault of true womanhood unlocked”); “Girls & Jerks” explores her former attraction to less-than-nice guys—guys who had perfected the “dynamic of disrespect” she found so intriguing; “Is This Even Real?” is a meditation on her lifelong obsession with death and dying—what she calls her “genetically predestined morbidity.” And in “I Didn’t F*** Them, but They Yelled at Me,” she imagines the tell-all she will write when she is eighty and past caring, able to reflect honestly on the sexism and condescension she has encountered in Hollywood, where women are “treated like the paper thingies that protect glasses in hotel bathrooms—necessary but infinitely disposable.”
 
Exuberant, moving, and keenly observed, Not That Kind of Girl is a series of dispatches from the frontlines of the struggle that is growing up. “I’m already predicting my future shame at thinking I had anything to offer you,” Dunham writes. “But if I can take what I’ve learned and make one menial job easier for you, or prevent you from having the kind of sex where you feel you must keep your sneakers on in case you want to run away during the act, then every misstep of mine will have been worthwhile.”

Praise for Not That Kind of Girl
 
“The gifted Ms. Dunham not only writes with observant precision, but also brings a measure of perspective, nostalgia and an older person’s sort of wisdom to her portrait of her (not all that much) younger self and her world. . . . By simply telling her own story in all its specificity and sometimes embarrassing detail, she has written a book that’s as acute and heartfelt as it is funny.”—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times
 
“Dunham has crafted warm, intelligent writing that is both deeply personal and engaging. . . . [Hers] is not only a voice who deserves to be heard but also one who will inspire other important voices to tell their stories too.”—Roxane Gay, Time
 
“A lovely, touching, surprisingly sentimental portrait of a woman who, despite repeatedly baring her body and soul to audiences, remains a bit of an enigma: a young woman who sets the agenda, defies classification and seems utterly at home in her own skin.”—Chicago Tribune
 
“A lot of us fear we don’t measure up beautywise and that we endure too much crummy treatment from men. On these topics, Dunham is funny, wise, and, yes, brave.”—Elle
 
“Witty and wise and rife with the kind of pacing and comedic flourishes that characterize early Woody Allen books.”—Meghan Daum, The New York Times Magazine

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Editorial Reviews

The New York Times - Michiko Kakutani
…smart, funny…creator of the critically acclaimed HBO series Girls…Ms. Dunham brings a similar candor to the story of her own life, getting as naked in print as her alter ego Hannah often does in the flesh…while Hannah, an aspiring author, is constantly putting her foot in her mouth and prattling on about herself, the gifted Ms. Dunham not only writes with observant precision, but also brings a measure of perspective, nostalgia and an older person's sort of wisdom to her portrait of her (not all that much) younger self and her world…Ms. Dunham doesn't presume to be "the voice of my generation" or even "a voice of a generation," as Hannah does in the show. Instead, by simply telling her own story in all its specificity and sometimes embarrassing detail, she has written a book that's as acute and heartfelt as it is funny.
Publishers Weekly
★ 10/06/2014
Reviewed by Rachel Deahl. Filmmaker (Tiny Furniture) and TV creator (Girls) Dunham has been compared to all manner of comic intellectual impresarios, from Woody Allen to Nora Ephron and Tina Fey. This makes it all the more delightful that Dunham mines her first book from an unexpected source: Helen Gurley Brown's Having It All, which she stumbled upon in a thrift store in college. Dunham hopes that her collection of personal essays will do for its intended readers—the young and female—what the one-time Cosmopolitan editor-in-chief's 1982 guide did for her. Having It All is, Dunham admits, full of mostly dated and "bananas" advice—on everything from dieting to man pleasing—but it imparted an important takeaway: meek women can inherit success, love, and self-worth, if not the Earth. Dunham is not unlike these women (or "Mouseburgers," in Brown's words), who can, she explains, "triumph, having lived to tell the tale of being overlooked and underloved." She breaks her book into sections ("Love & Sex," "Body," "Work," etc.) and offers tales of her own experiences being overlooked and underloved. If that sounds corny or overly earnest, the essays that compose the book are neither. They're dark, discomforting, and very funny. Whether discussing her forays into yo-yo dieting (" ‘Diet' Is a Four-Letter Word") or the time she thinks she might have been raped ("Barry"), Dunham is expert at combining despair and humor. Describing a misanthropic ex, she writes: "His critical nature proved suffocating—he hated my skirts, my friends, and my work. He hated rom-coms and just plain coms." The book is filled with amusing phrases like this one, as Dunham delivers sad—and probably, for many readers, sadly familiar—tales of hating her body and trying too hard to make undeserving men love her. Dunham is an oddly polarizing figure in today's culture—maybe because she's too young and successful; maybe because she gets conflated her with Hannah Horvath, her self-involved character on Girls; or maybe simply because her detractors are louder than her fans—but hopefully this won't keep readers away from this collection. It would be a shame, because the book is touching, at times profound, and deeply funny. It also addresses something that other female funny people of Dunham's stature do not. The myth, as Gurley Brown and others have laid it out, is that we can shed our Mouseburger selves to become something better. While Dunham is eager for that something better, she doesn't want to lose sight of the Mouseburger inside. This is one of the things she grapples with throughout these essays: how we become accepted and loved and popular, without casting aside, or trying to hide, the unloved, unpopular people we once were. In fact, Dunham seems to want to revel in the dark spaces—the terrifying and awkward moments in life—which is pretty great. Not only does this provide her wonderful material, but it's an invigorating, refreshing slap in the face to a world that is so unwelcoming to all the amusing, sweet, smart Mouseburgers out there. (Sept. 30) Rachel Deahl is PW's News Director.
From the Publisher
“The gifted [Lena] Dunham not only writes with observant precision, but also brings a measure of perspective, nostalgia and an older person’s sort of wisdom to her portrait of her (not all that much) younger self and her world. . . . By simply telling her own story in all its specificity and sometimes embarrassing detail, she has written a book that’s as acute and heartfelt as it is funny.”—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times
 
“Dunham has crafted warm, intelligent writing that is both deeply personal and engaging. . . . [Hers] is not only a voice who deserves to be heard but also one who will inspire other important voices to tell their stories too.”—Roxane Gay, Time
 
“A lovely, touching, surprisingly sentimental portrait of a woman who, despite repeatedly baring her body and soul to audiences, remains a bit of an enigma: a young woman who sets the agenda, defies classification and seems utterly at home in her own skin.”—Chicago Tribune
 
“A lot of us fear we don’t measure up beautywise and that we endure too much crummy treatment from men. On these topics, Dunham is funny, wise, and, yes, brave. . . . Among Dunham’s gifts to womankind is her frontline example that some asshole may call you undesirable or worse, and it won’t kill you. Your version matters more.”—Elle
 
“[Not That Kind of Girl is] witty and wise and rife with the kind of pacing and comedic flourishes that characterize early Woody Allen books. . . . Dunham is an extraordinary talent, and her vision . . . is stunningly original.”—Meghan Daum, The New York Times Magazine
 
“There’s a lot of power in retelling your mistakes so people can see what’s funny about them—and so that you are in control. Dunham knows about this power, and she has harnessed it.”—The Washington Post
 
“Touching, at times profound, and deeply funny . . . Dunham is expert at combining despair and humor.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
 
“Most of us live our lives desperately trying to conceal the anguishing gap between our polished, aspirational, representational selves and our real, human, deeply flawed selves. Dunham lives hers in that gap, welcomes the rest of the world into it with boundless openheartedness, and writes about it with the kind of profound self-awareness and self-compassion that invite us to inhabit our own gaps and maybe even embrace them a little bit more, anguish over them a little bit less.”—Maria Popova, Brain Pickings
 
“Reading this book is a pleasure. . . . [These essays] exude brilliance and insight well beyond Dunham’s twenty-eight years.”—The Philadelphia Inquirer
 
“Witty, illuminating, maddening, bracingly bleak . . . That great feminist icon Norman Mailer was very careful, through a lifetime’s work, not to unbury his ‘crystals,’ his prismatic lodes of psychic material: it’s the reason (he claimed) he never wrote an autobiography. Dunham’s crystals are on perpetual display, sending light shafts everywhere. . . . [She’s] a genuine artist, and a disturber of the order.”—The Atlantic

“It’s not Lena Dunham’s candor that makes me gasp. Rather, it’s her writing—which is full of surprises where you least expect them. A fine, subversive book.”—David Sedaris
 
“Always funny, sometimes wrenching, these essays are a testament to the creative wonder that is Lena Dunham.”—Judy Blume
 
“Dunham’s writing is just as smart, honest, sophisticated, dangerous, and charming as her work on Girls. Its essential quality is a kind of joyful super-awareness: of herself, the world, the human. Reading her makes you glad to be in the world, and glad that she’s in it with you.”—George Saunders
 
“Very few women have become famous for being who they actually are, nuanced and imperfect. When honesty happens, it’s usually couched in self-ridicule or self-help. Dunham doesn’t apologize like that—she simply tells her story as if it might be interesting. Not That Kind of Girl is hilarious, artful, and staggeringly intimate; I read it shivering with recognition.”—Miranda July
 
“This book should be required reading for anyone who thinks they understand the experience of being a young woman in our culture. I thought I knew the author rather well, and I found many (not altogether welcome) surprises.”—Carroll Dunham

Library Journal
05/15/2014
If you've seen the high-flying and critically admired HBO series, Girls, for which Dunham serves as creator, star, writer, director, and executive producer, you won't be surprised that this collection of autobiographical essays is really out-there honest.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780812994995
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 9/30/2014
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 10
  • Product dimensions: 5.70 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 1.40 (d)

Meet the Author

Lena Dunham

Lena Dunham is the creator of the critically acclaimed HBO series Girls, for which she also serves as executive producer, writer, and director. She has been nominated for eight Emmy awards and has won two Golden Globes, including Best Actress, for her work on Girls. She was the first woman to win the Directors Guild of America award for directorial achievement in comedy. Dunham has also written and directed two feature-length films (including Tiny Furniture in 2010) and is a frequent contributor to The New Yorker. She lives and works in Brooklyn, New York.
 
Joana Avillez is an illustrator and the author of Life Dressing, a tale of two women who live to dress and dress to live. Her artwork has been featured in The New York Times, New York, and The Wall Street Journal.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 38 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(18)

4 Star

(7)

3 Star

(2)

2 Star

(2)

1 Star

(9)
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 38 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted Tue Sep 30 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    I Also Recommend:

    Hungry Chick Dieting Solution

    If you are looking for a book delving into the psychology of Gen

    If you are looking for a book delving into the psychology of Generation Z, there are other books out there. But, if you like the show and are looking for a light-hearted look into twenty-something awkwardness, you will love this book. Lena Dunham does not disappoint with her first book. What reads like a series of personal essays, the book touches on navigating through twenty-something life, sprinkled with advice and of course plenty of humor. In many ways, the book feels in tone like Girls is to watch: self-deprecating humor, neuroses, therapy-laden dependence, bad choices, and awkward situations. Best of all, Dunham sprinkles it with enough humor and affability to let the reader look back at their own life and laugh a bit too. Overall, this book is highly recommended and definitely a must read even if you have to convince your sister to buy it and borrow it when she is done. 

    11 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted Sat Oct 04 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    There is obviously an audience for this, as I guess there must b

    There is obviously an audience for this, as I guess there must be for the "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" stuff which this reminded me of.  But it certainly isn't me.  I found it too crude to be humorous, and too trite to be interesting.  But, then she said she doesn't like people who tell you TMI (too much information).  Well, I am one of them.   My book club picked this, or I am sure I would have never picked it up.  I do admire any author for their accomplishments.  If we all liked the same things, the world would be boring.  Sorry, Lena.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted Thu Oct 02 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    I Also Recommend:

    Ho Tactics (Uncut Edition): How To Mindf**k A Man Into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring

    Like Talking To That awkward girl at the bar. Not a huge fan of

    Like Talking To That awkward girl at the bar.
    Not a huge fan of Girls, but that may change as Lena comes off much more respectable, funny, and intelligent than the character she plays on the show. The real Lena has been through the wringer and isn't shy about about admitting her mistakes along the way.
    What really makes this book flow is that unlike a lot of millennials Lena has reached the point where she doesn't have to pose, and that in itself is a lesson to be taken away.
    It is okay to not be perfect and to stumble, as long as you recover smarter and learn to laugh at it in retrospect. Good read.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Wed Oct 01 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    This got 3.7 million dollars?! I just hope Tina Fey and Amy Poeh

    This got 3.7 million dollars?! I just hope Tina Fey and Amy Poehler received that much (or more) for their book deals, because they had the sense to wait until they'd actually lived enough life to write an interesting memoir. This is sophomoric, boring, and feels too long because nothing is happening. I hate myself for reading it to the end. 

    5 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted Wed Oct 01 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    I was hooked on the first paragraph. If you're a woman looking t

    I was hooked on the first paragraph. If you're a woman looking to laugh at some of your flaws (instead for crying), then this is for you. Lena is so 
    talented and I sincerely hope that she keeps writing books. This will probably go down a favorite. 

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Mon Oct 06 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Awful

    I agree with one of the reviews. Boring and poorly written. I was given the book to read and Gave it back. Don't waste your money and time.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Wed Oct 01 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    I Also Recommend:

    Unbecoming Travolta: A Memoir of Mania and Multiple Personalities
    Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory
    The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace: A Brilliant Young Man Who Left Newark for the Ivy League

    Lena Dunham is a very gifted writer. In Not That Kind of Girl, s

    Lena Dunham is a very gifted writer. In Not That Kind of Girl, she shows both wit and wisdom. It is lighthearted and meaningful at the same time. Good stuff!

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted Tue Oct 07 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    BORING! poorly written---COME ON! who reads this and 'acclaims

    BORING! poorly written---COME ON! who reads this and 'acclaims' it?????

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Wed Oct 01 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    JOINT ASHCLAN

    I sniff glue.

    1 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Tue Sep 30 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Terible

    Nethe r hildren

    1 out of 17 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted Mon Oct 13 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Most of it trite and empty -- a couple of good chapters (notably

    Most of it trite and empty -- a couple of good chapters (notably, the final 2).  Found it lacking it insight and big on exposure.  Really, Lena.  Who cares about how much you talk about your vagina?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Wed Oct 08 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Not my thing

    Started it and after 1/3 through it decided it was not that interesting.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted Tue Oct 07 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    What the hell is this?

    Unequivically one of the worst reads ever. Rauchy girl tells raunchy stories that obviously someone likes to read. Very unoriginal. Borderline pathetic. Passed through the use up paper diet lists to porn. If there is more than a ramble here let me know. I quit.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Mon Oct 06 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Any one up?

    ;)

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Sun Oct 05 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Yass

    Whateves

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Sun Oct 05 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    To yass

    Hey was that gem

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Sun Oct 05 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Boss

    Sounds like a goood book

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Sat Oct 04 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    AFERR

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Sun Oct 05 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Raine here

    Plz i need a bf on noook

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted Sat Oct 04 00:00:00 EDT 2014

    Email

    Hate it

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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