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As a teenager and young man, Justin Lee felt deeply torn. Nicknamed "God Boy" by his peers, he knew that he was called to a life in the evangelical Christian ministry. But Lee harbored a secret: He also knew that he was gay. In this groundbreaking book, Lee recalls the events—his coming out to his parents, his experiences with the "ex-gay" movement, and his in-depth study of the Bible—that led him, eventually, to self-acceptance.
But more than just a memoir, TORN provides insightful, practical guidance for all committed Christians who wonder how to relate to gay friends or family members—or who struggle with their own sexuality. Convinced that "in a culture that sees gays and Christians as enemies, gay Christians are in a unique position to bring peace," Lee demonstrates that people of faith on both sides of the debate can respect, learn from, and love one another.
"Lee's writing is approachable, and he shows compassion for those on all sides of this debate."—Kirkus Reviews
"Disarmingly vulnerable...poignant..."—Christianity Today
"The beauty of this book is that Lee wants to challenge all kinds of Christians...Perhaps it is because of so many fights hard won that Lee is now able to move into more nuanced territory in this gracious and grace-filled memoir."—The Christian Century
"Lee, one of our leading voices on the issues of being gay and Christian, gives us this powerful look at ways that members on both sides of the lines can learn from and grow with each other."—SHE Magazine
"...His book offers helpful suggestions for Christians...[and] helpful suggestions for pastoral counseling..."—World Magazine
"This book is full of three things that are not always much in evidence in our debates on sexuality—fresh air, common sense and manifest love of Christ. What makes it different is that it is not essentially about arguing a case but abut bridging the gaps of understanding and sympathy that (inside and outside the Church) have distorted or muffled the overwhelming miracle of Gods gift in Christ and in Scripture. I welcome it very warmly."—Honorable Reverend Dr. Rowan Williams
"Justin didn't leave the church when he realized he was gay...he has been too determined to show them how much he loves them...This is the story of how one Christian man's faith taught him to accept himself, serve others who are in need, and bridge the gap for those who do not always understand."
—Jennifer Knapp, Singer/Songwriter, Founder of InsideOutFaith.org
"This is the most important book I've read in years, and it will be the first I recommend to anyone interested in bridging the divide between the LGBT community and the church. Justin has given us a precious gift with this story. May we receive it with the same courage and faith with which it was delivered."—Rachel Held Evans, blogger, author of Evolving in Monkey Town and A Year of Biblical Womanhood
"In TORN, Justin Lee blends simplicity, clarity, humility, honesty, and vulnerability in a gracious and eye-opening way. The book brings fresh perspectives to old and polarized debates, and it offers a wise and faithful way forward for pastors and other Christian leaders, parents and other family members, not to mention gay men and women themselves. This is the book that every Evangelical, Charismatic, and Roman Catholic Christian should read on the question of homosexuality."
—Brian D. McLaren, author of Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road? Christian Identity in a Multi-Faith World (brianmclaren.net)
Justin Lee is the founder and executive director of The Gay Christian Network (GCN), a nonprofit, interdenominational organization working to increase dialogue between gays and Christians and support people on both sides wrestling with related issues.
A passionate Christian from a conservative evangelical background, Justin thought he knew everything there was to know about the Christian approach to homosexuality-until unexpected events turned his world upside down and forced him to reconsider everything he believed. Today, his organization works with individuals, families, and churches to stop the debate from tearing people apart.
Justin's work has garnered national attention and praise from gays and Christians from across the theological spectrum. He has been featured in numerous print, radio, and television venues including Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper 360, the Associated Press, and a front page article in The New York Times. He is the director of the 2009 documentary Through My Eyes about the debate's impact on young Christians, and the co-host of popular long-running podcast GCN Radio. Justin lives in Raleigh, NC.
Author's Note ix
Chapter 1 Battle of the Century 1
Chapter 2 God Boy 12
Chapter 3 The Struggle 19
Chapter 4 The Truth Comes Out 27
Chapter 5 Why Are People Gay? 51
Chapter 6 Justin in Exgayland 70
Chapter 7 That the Man Should Be Alone 97
Chapter 8 South Park Christians 106
Chapter 9 The Poisoned Yeast 125
Chapter 10 Faith Assassins 135
Chapter 11 The Other Side 148
Chapter 12 Back to the Bible 168
Chapter 13 Whatever Commandment There May Be 191
Chapter 14 Lightning Rod 209
Chapter 15 The Way Forward 226
Notes 255
Anonymous
Posted Wed Feb 27 00:00:00 EST 2013
This book has been a long time coming. I will be giving this to a lot of people. The best work written on gays and the church.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted Mon Feb 18 00:00:00 EST 2013
This was amazing. Must read for everyone on any side of this "culture war"!
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted Sun Jan 27 00:00:00 EST 2013
This chronicles a young man who was brought up in a very conservative Christian family and community and is, in fact, a strong believer having his own personal faith in Christ. As he comes into puberty, he realizes he is attracted only to other males and rather than females. He looks very critically and honestly into God's will for him by looking at scripture. Please read this book... it might surprise you...it might not. But his story and resulting ministry is very powerful.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted Fri Jan 11 00:00:00 EST 2013
Unbelievably moving, well-written, well-researched, logical... basically perfect. Thank you, sir, for writing this. Thank you so much.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted Wed Nov 28 00:00:00 EST 2012
Loved the way it was written to the last word.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Reviewed by Brenda Ballard for Readers' Favorite
Justin Lee has known God's love since childhood. He lives his Christianity and it is no secret that this is who he is. He felt the call of the Lord to work in His service and knew that was what he wanted to do with his life. He also knew he was gay, something he kept suppressed for a very long time. Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate is Mr. Lee's story of coming out, struggling with where his beliefs could be found in the Bible, dealing with how people treated him, and how many perspectives there could be in one Body of Christ. Written with the tenderness of heartache and healing, this book helps the reader understand this controversial subject and how God sees it.
It had to take a lot of guts for Justin Lee to write Torn. Anybody who has been put in the awkward situation of one Christian denying another will know how deep from the heart this experience comes. This is a very controversial subject in the church but Justin doesn't make the reader feel like they are in some struggle between wrong or right. He has managed to write his experiences with brotherly love and a passion for God. This would make a great gift for family and friends who struggle with their own or loved ones' personal choices. Libraries would benefit in areas where struggling teens can access the book without worry.
Anonymous
Posted Wed Nov 27 00:00:00 EST 2013
This is a must read for all of us! Learning my grandson was gay, i immediately wanted to help "change" him and reassure him that we loved him despite his sin. As if i didn't have any of my own. I need to apologize ASAP!
This book was easily readable, full of information from "the other side". We need to let these men and women TALK and then we need to LISTEN! READ THIS BOOK!
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Overview
As a teenager and young man, Justin Lee felt deeply torn. Nicknamed "God Boy" by his peers, he knew that he was called to a life in the evangelical Christian ministry. But Lee harbored a secret: He also knew that he was gay. In this groundbreaking book, Lee recalls the events—his coming out to his parents, his experiences with the "ex-gay" movement, and his in-depth study of the Bible—that led him, eventually, to self-acceptance.
But more than just a memoir, TORN provides ...