This seemingly random page documents one of undoubtedly many Turducken experiments for Thanksgiving 2008.

In The Beginning: Birds

In the beginning, there were three birds. From the left: turkey, duck, and then chicken.

The operating table.

Preparation, Messy

I don't really know anything about avian anatomy, so I started with the chicken. That one goes on the inside, so nobody will notice when I accidentally make chicken nugets. Note the pot of bones and organs on the right. Delicious.

Here, I seem to be extracting the chicken's ribcage. It took a while to figure out how the wings were connected.

The planar representation of a chicken. The breast is on the lower left of the pan, while the upper left and lower right are the legs. I cheated and removed the wings since they are really bony. The first bone repository can be seen overflowing.

As a less meaty side story, observe some unsuspecting bread that is about to become stuffing.

The duck was still defrosting at this point, so I moved on to the turkey. This is a large bird. Compare it to the dishwasher for an idea of just how big.

This is an early attempt at separating the neck and ribcage from the rest of the bird. Sadly, the turkey was having none of it.

After a few more attempts and a felicitous discovery regarding the connectivity of legs to the pelvis (or avian equivalent), the main supporting structure is finally gone. This bird is now basically planar. Note that the leg and wing bones are still present for aesthetic reasons.

We folded the turkey up for temporary storage until the duck was ready to join it. That was our largest cookie sheet, and it was still barely large enough. Note the substantially larger pot of innards (compared to the adjacent chicken pieces).

(Four hours later) The duck is finally ready. Drawing on my now vast pool of knowledge of avian anatomy, I dive right in.

Either I am getting much better at this, or the extra fat in the duck serves to lubricate its flesh right off of its bones. I merely glanced at it, and it too became planar.

Here is a final side-by-side comparison of the total amount of meat.

Cooking...

Concurrently with the deboning, head chef and Secretary of Stuffing Dalibor prepares some of the other essential components. First up is some custom cranberry sauce. The recipe is either secret or I don't remember. It was really good, though.

Next up is stuffing; the major non-meat blocker to the assembly process.

Assembly

Starting with our planar turkey, we apply a light layer of various spices and a healthy layer of stuffing.

Next, we apply the duck and yet another layer of stuffing. As you can see, one of our secret spices is pepper.

Full of anticipation, we ready the chicken.

The chicken and the final layer of stuffing are in place!

The sewing stage is definitely at least a two person job. I had to find an expert after I was informed that you cannot sew with a knife.

Finally!

The Results

Twelve hours of compulsive basting later, we have this. Irresistable.

Here is the turkey on display, along with a donated casserole and some more stuffing. As you can see, there is indeed some green there - it must be healthy.

Here is the dining table. Mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and a pie are on display. In the rear on the left you can see some mulled apple cider.

A group shot of the chefs.

To carve, we have to start somewhere...
It turns out that carving a turkey is a lot easier after all the bones have been replaced with delicious meat and stuffing.

After a bit more carving, the strata of the construct are clearly visible.

Follow Up

Well, that was exciting! We'll have to come up with something pretty spectacular to top this next year. Thanks to everyone that came out to enjoy this with us.