Shocking Dark (1989)
"Terminator II" (original title)

When modern directors 'pay homage' to something, they kind of put a respectful twist on an existing idea, but when Bruno Mattei (sadly no longer with us) 'pays homage' to something, it means he rips everything off wholesale and recreates it almost line for line, only with less money, bad acting, bad special effects etc etc. I've got to admit that he's a law unto himself and has balls so big I'm sure he had to carry them around with him in a wheelbarrow.

Shocking Dark is total and utter plagiarism. Utterly, without a doubt. So much so that I'm not sure if there's some kind of post-modern ironic intent behind it. Was Bruno (and let's not forget Troll 2 director Claudio) taking the mickey? Or what? Who knows, but Shocking Dark is a scream. Sometimes a scream of sheer enjoyment, sometimes a scream of pain.

For those that ain't read about it anywhere else, the initial film that this rips off is Aliens. A squad of marines and a chick adviser are sent into Venice to see what's happened to some scientists. They find cocooned people. They are attacked by monsters. They find an almost feral girl. They have tracking devices. One of them is a cyborg. The girl and the chick bond and get locked in a room with a monster. On and on and on it goes until your jaw just gives up and takes root on your chest.

Scenes are created almost word for word ('Momma says monsters don't exist, but they do don't they?'), but the difference is that Bruno either doesn't have the money or has embezzled it and still has to deliver the film, so everything is filmed in a large factory or somewhere and the acting is so terrible that the 'newt' character had my ears bleeding with her screaming.

Where's the enjoyment in this, you ask? Well, it's a Bruno Mattei film, so all those elements he's stolen are diluted and all the boring stuff in Aliens is thrown out of the window. The good stuff is still there, albeit in a weird, off-beat, loony Mattei way. The film isn't long and it seems even Bruno gets bored when he stops copying Aliens and starts doing a Terminator rip off instead.

There are many layers to Bruno Mattei films but whether or not they are really there we'll never know. He did say that anyone who liked his films was an idiot, and I guess in the end he had the last laugh on just about everybody, outliving Fulci, Margherriti, D'Amato etc and still making films right up until he died.

This is recommended only to those who know exactly what to expect - and thanks to the fella who sent me it.