The Killing Zone (1991)

The snake. As a venomous reptile, it is quite apt to show a snake sequence in the opening credits of a film, to give at least a slight indication to the evil intentions of one of the characters before the film starts. Note to the director of Killing Zone; this mind-trick you learnt in film school, will not work in a completely budget movie, for two reasons. 1) the snake looks so plastic that you can almost see the "made in Taiwan" sticker on its tail. 2) defying all that Bill Oddy has taught us about snakes, it moves in a straight line - which has to be seen to be believed. Now to the film. I love this film because its terrible. It contains quite a few memorable quotes and scenes that will keep you smiling to yourself on long train journeys. However, I'm not sure the acting legend Deron McBee would have participated in this film if he'd known some of the goof's this director decided to include. Perhaps the funniest, is also at the beginning of the film. Our Hero, "Garret Bodine", is struggling to hold onto a rope, at the end of which dangles Bodine's Uncle (over a cliff edge). Who would do such a thing? Carmen Vasquez, thats who! If you didn't know who he was before this film, you will afterwards. He is evil personified. !Spoiler! - the plot of the whole film = Carmen Vasquez has his own brother murdered in jail, so that he can avenge his brother's death by going on a killing spree. Anyway, not even Garrett Bodine can overcome physics, and his Uncle falls to a gruesome but one would assume instant death. I'm not exaggerating in comparing the fall to one into the Grand Canyon, or Ingleton Falls in North Yorkshire. At this point, I pigeon-holed the film as a badly made, but hearty attempt at an action movie.

But how wrong I was. This is a ridiculously poor attempt. But it'll make you cry with laughter. Hence, the point to my whole story. Later in the film, picture a bar scene. Apparently the bar-keep is ill-tempered. Enter said bar-man. Oooh, he walks with a limp, bet there's a great anecdote behind that. Yes there is. And you've already heard it. The bar man is none other than Garrett's Uncle. the one who fell to his death. apparently, falling from such a height "messed up his knee". Once you realise the film isn't ashamed of it's plot, you can enjoy this film- honest, "i swear by my mother's eyes".