Re: Feminism co' a'p du.ng -du+o+c o+? Vie^.t Nam ?

[My Huyen Nguyen <M.H.Nguyen-iq1b7756@lmu.ac.uk>]

Hi anh Hoang and  all ca'c anh chi. on net,

I just read your comment about the feminism ,and I find it is an
interesting topic to take part in discussing the subject .
Let me express my opinion about the role of vietnamese women in the society=
 ,
yeah ?

The phrase  "nhat vo*. nhi` tro*`i "
makes me a little bit confused . Does it really exitst in Vietnam that wome=
n=20
have more right in saying than their husbands ? and is it true that men
really respect their wives ?=20
I think this phrase is just only a joke and we laugh every time as we hear
it , don't we ? If a man says so , he actually does not take it seriously
what he is talking about , ridiculously only. We find it funny if a man is=
=20
under the control of his wife and the man feels very embarrassed or even he=
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looses his face if somebody knows about it .
Why ? why and why ??? can anybody give me an answer?

In my mind vietnamese women are dispared by most conservative thinking
"tro'i ga`kho^ng cha(.t " is the term used to mention them . They are
tied with the "praise"
"phu. nu*~=20
vietnam di.u da`ng dda?m dang , trung ha^.u or something like that... "=20

Despite a short time having grown up in Vietnam  I  can still=20
remember how women were treated there. I saw a lot of women who were=20
beaten by their husbands every time when their husbands  got drunk or
when they were not happy with themself , all the time the poor women had
to be the victims of their angers.

I feel sorry for the vietnamese women ( for me as well ;-) ) because they a=
re=20
under a lot of social pressures . If you ask any vietnamese what they=20
think which character a vietnamese woman should have in order to be called
a model woman , he( she)
will say: brave to her mother-in -law , loyal( but not faithful) to her=20
husband and a good mother for her children . Why do we set a high demand=20
for a woman ?=20
Have we ever thought about her feelings ? Some women are blamed for some=20
stupid things for examples that their mother-in-law are not served well or
that they can not give their husbands a good meal  , that their children
don't  have a good behaviour =20
( con hu* ta.i me. , cha'u hu* ta.i ba`) ,u'i chao o*i , ta.i=20
sao kho^ng la` cha va` o^ng no^.i dzi. ?=20
Do you think that we still have some conservative
thinking in our mind , and it is the reason why most vietnamese women seem =
to=20
be shy ( or have to be shy ) to talk with a stranger because the social=20
pressures robbed their natural behaviour and force them to show a serious
face to every stranger .=20
In comparision to europe girls we definitly see the fact that vietnamese wo=
men
are more unconfident in expressing their opinions about somthinng or in
taking part in a disscussing . What a sadness , hm ?

I don't want to talk about the social equality for women , because I know=
=20
there are always some unequal rights for them . But I like to know how you
( young men today ) imagine your future
wife . Should she accomplish the functions " tam to=B4ng tu*=B4ddu*=B4c " .=
=20
I really get scared if I hear : Darling you stay at home and do the house
work , let me do for the living.
Does he really care about his wife or does he think=20
" viet. nha`cu?a ba`, viet. nu*o*'c cu?a to^i , ddu*`ng lo^.n xo^.n nhe
ba` ".

I also realize that young men are more tolerant and they really respect the=
ir
companion according to anh Hoang's report ,
I'm happy to read your comment and I enjoye writing down my opinion about
its topic.
Cheers



On Wed, 28 May 1997, Truong Trong Hoang wrote:

> Hi ba'c La^m, Quy`nh, Aiviet va` all,
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> Ho^?m ra`y ba^.n qua' ne^n kho^ng no'i nhie^`u -du+o+.c. Tha^'y chuye^.n
> nu+~ quye^`n ca'c ba'c ba`n tha?o so^i no^?i qua' ne^n cu~ng go'p chu't
> chuye^.n.  Ky` na`y cho phe'p tui vie^'t tie^'ng Anh.=20
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> Feminism can be applied to Vietnam where "Nhat vo nhi troi" is somthing
> like a tradition (I'm not sure if it is still true now) ? Actually,
> feminism which is a movement started from western countries bases on what
> they call the universal subordinate status of women in almost everywhere
> in the world.  (There is still some societies where men are subordinate
> but not many). This subordinate status is not only in the societal rights
> but also in the cultural norms and personal way of thinkings. One obvious
> inequality relating to sexuality is the double standard for having sex.
> Men are usually socially accepted to have extramarital sex or having more
> than one wife while women are strictly educated to be faithful to their
> husband. Does this standard still prevail in vietnam society. To some
> extent, as we can see prostitution is almost for males. More about
> prostitution, we all know that women are victims rather than criminals
> (They are forced to do that by the pressure of poverty or in some of
> consumerism whilst men who actively buy sex to satisfy their sexual
> desire). But who have to be reeducated at least 6 months away from their
> normal life which is strongly stigmatized from the eyes of surrounding
> people ? And who just come back with smile and tomorrow might frequent
> another girl ? That is one of issues feminists confront nowadays.=20
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> I just raise one problem about unequal treatment toward women. Xin ca'c b=
a'c
> go'p the^m y' kie^'n.
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> Tha^n me^'n
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> Tro.ng Hoa`ng
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