improvement of the English language by the Europeans ????

[Giang Nong <giang@essc.psu.edu>]

Hi all
I found the following news interesting for those who are concerned about English. 

Giang


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>       Hopefully our cousins across the Atlantic will be
>       understand this: latest news from this side of the
>       Herring Pond, enjoy....

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).     In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft
"c".  Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also,
the hard "c" will be replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.    There will
be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
"ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20
per sent shorter.    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al
wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.   By the fourth year, peopl wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.   Ze drem vil finali kum tru !