Woman: An analysis ... (fwd)

[Le Phu Binh <lpbinh@taygate.cl.au.ac.th>]

Hi ca'c ba'c trong la`ng,

	Du*o*'i -da^y la` forward ca'i message cu?a mo^.t em Thai (ra^'t
ra^'t la` charming :) ) go*?i cho tui sau khi tui ra'ng ngo^`i di.ch cho
em nghe mo^.t pha^`n lo*`i ba`i ha't "Con ga'i" cu?a Ngo.c Le^~/Phu*o*ng
Tha?o. Em no'i la` em la^'y tu*` trong textbook cu?a Ethics course ra,
kho^ng bie^'t co' -du'ng ho^ng...nhu*ng ma` tu'm -di tu'm la.i thi` -do.c
tha^'y cu~ng dzui dzui, ma` la.i -du'ng pho'c pho'c mo*'i che^'t cho*' :))

Cheers

-----------------------------------------------------
Le Phu Binh - Assumption University  - BKK - Thailand
email:	lpbinh@maia.cl.au.ac.th
URL:	http://maia.cl.au.ac.th/~lpbinh
-----------------------------------------------------

---------- Forwarded message ----------
To: Le Phu Binh <g3919250@au2.au.ac.th>
Subject: Woman: An analysis ... (fwd)



 

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  Element: woman

  Symbol: Wo

  Discoverer: Adam

  Atomic Weight: accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160
lbs.

  Occurence: surplus quantities in all urban areas.

  Physical Properties:
      1) suface usually covered in painted film
      2) boils at nothing, freezes without reason
      3) melts if given proper treatment
      4) bitter if used incorrectly
      5) found in various states, ranging from virgin metal, to common
         'ore

  Chemical Properties:
      1) possess great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious
         stones
      2) able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances
      3) may explode spontaneously if left alone with a male
      4) insoluable in liquids but activity greatly increased by
         saturation in alcohol
      5) yields to pressure applied to correct points

  Uses:
      1) highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
      2) most powerful money-reducing agent known
      3) can be a great aid to relaxation

  Tests:
      1) pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state
      2) turns green if placed beside a better specimen

  Caution:
      1) highly dangerous except in experienced hands
      2) illegal to posses more than one except in certain areas
         (California, etc.



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                         WOMEN:  Some More Facts



  If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
  If you don't, you are not a man
  If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
  If you don't, you are good for nothing
  If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
  If you don't, you are not understanding
  If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'
  If you don't you are half a man
  If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
  If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
  If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
  If you don't, you are a dull boy
  If you are jealous, she says it's bad
  If you don't , she thinks you do not love her
  If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
  If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
  If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
  If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
  If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
  If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'
  If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
  If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage
  If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
  If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics
  If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
  If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring
  If you talk, she wants you to listen
  If you listen, she wants you to talk

  Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN'

  So simple, yet so complex
  So weak, yet so powerful
  So confusing, yet so desirable

  "O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN"