Engineering jokes

[Hai-Tri Le <haitril@microsoft.com>]

> A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red
> rubber ball and told to find the volume. 
> The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a
> triple integral.  
> The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water,
> and measured the total displacement. 
> The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his
> red-rubber-ball table.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> A mathematician and an engineer agree to a psychological experiment. 
> The mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and a
> beautiful naked woman is placed on a bed at the other end of the room.
> 
> 
> The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair.  Every
> five minutes, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its
> current location and the woman on the bed."  
> 
> The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust.  "What? I'm
> not going to go through this.  You know I'll never reach the bed!"
> And he gets up and storms out.  
> 
> The psychologist makes a note on his clipboard and ushers the engineer
> in. 
> 
> He explains the situation, and the engineer's eyes light up and he
> starts drooling.  The psychologist is a bit confused.  "Don't you
> realize that you'll never reach her?"  The engineer smiles and
> replied, "Of course!  But I'll get close enough for all practical
> purposes!" 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> A businessman needed to employ a quantitative type person.  He wasn't
> sure if he should get a mathematician, an engineer, or an applied
> mathematician.
> 
>  As it happened, all the applicants were male.  The businessman
> devised a test. The mathematician came first.  Miss How, the
> administrative assistant took him into the hall.  At the end of the
> hall, lounging on a couch, was a beautiful woman.  
> 
> Miss How said, "You may only go half the distance at a time.  When you
> reach the end, you may kiss our model." 
> 
> The mathematician explained how he would never get there in a finite
> number of iterations and politely excused himself.  Then came the
> engineer.  He quickly bounded halfway down the hall, then halfway
> again, and so on. Soon he declared he was well within accepted error
> tolerance and grabbed the beautiful woman and kissed her.  
> 
> Finally it was the applied mathematician's turn.  Miss How explained
> the rules. The applied mathematician listened politely, then grabbed
> Miss How and gave her a big smooch.  "What was that about?" she cried.
> 
> 
> "Well, you see I'm an applied mathematician.  If I can't solve the
> problem, I change it!"
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street
> cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other
> side of the street.
> 
> First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.
> 
> After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
> 
> The Physicist "The measurement wasn't accurate."
> 
> The Biologists conclusion "They have reproduced".
> 
> The Mathematician "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it
> will be empty again."
> 
>