The Room (2003)

Perhaps the best testament to the greatness of "The Room" is its utter indescribability, its curiously strong resistance to mimetic, second-hand description. Sure, you can easily sum up the banal, cliché plot, or approximate the mind-bogglingly amateurish acting and the hole filled, insanely convoluted, and just plain weird screenplay. You'll make yourself laugh as you quote choice lines ("Hi Doggy!" "I feel like I'm sitting on an atom bomb that's about to explode!" "The world would be a better place if everyone loved each other." "Oh hi _______!" "Chocolate is the symbol of love." "Cheep cheep cheep!" et al) and mime Wiseau's hilariously awkward motions and slurred cadences ("It's not true, I did not hit her! I DID NOOOOT."). You'll try in vain to convey the sheer weirdness of the incessant football playing, the hilarity of the jogging at the park, the brilliance of Chris R., the beautiful blue-screened rooftop, the horrific sex scenes that never seem to end, the mantra-like, gut-wrenchingly saccharine pop songs that accompany said sex scenes, and the inescapable, mind-erasing voids of Lisa and Claudette's mother-daughter one-on-one's. However, frustratingly for the would-be promoter of the film, these sorts of descriptions do little in the way of actually capturing the genuine magic that occurs when one sees "The Room" for the first time.

After hearing about the film on NPR, my interest was peaked. Soon after, I discovered that there were several clips of the film available to view on Youtube. After watching the rooftop conversation between Johnny and Mark, and an excerpt of the tuxedo-clad football game, I was sold. Living over 2000 miles from Los Angeles, I knew my only option was to purchase the DVD, which retails for about $11 on Amazon. Later that week, I found myself staring at Wiseau's curiously droopy face and preparing, at long last, to watch "The Room." Words fail to describe my experience; I was immediately hooked. Now, several months later, I've watched the film close to ten times, and I can say without hyperbole that it has become more fascinating and hilarious with each viewing. If you're reading this and you're on the fence about whether or not to go to a screening, or to spend the $11-$15 for the DVD, fear not – you will regret nothing. In fact, you'll begin to wonder how you lived for so long without seeing "The Room." Well, what are you waiting for? "DO YOU UNDERSTAND LIFE??!!"