Cavemen (2013)

Wow! I did not want to review this; Iwanted to rate it & move on. When I read the 15 reviews, I was dumbfounded at how misleading & all over the place they were. There should be ample consensus evident in reviews to reflect the thousands of votes that average to 5.2. My review is just my personal experience & certainly not a spoiler-rich autopsy or a handy turn by turn navigator that points out the attractions & gives unwarranted discussion to forgettable characters. This is an imperfect explanation of my experience that appear more in line with the cumulative average of thousands of viewers. The fact is this movie is neither a 1 nor a 10. Like most, it falls somewhere in the middle.

I don't recommend this as a good movie unless you are looking to watch a truly gorgeous actress interact with 4 male buddies as they work their craft, picking up women in bars & telling lewd stories of conquests. Hey, it's your time, & I won't judge. The plot is as familiar as the floor plan of a house you grew up in. I won't "ruin" the surprise. The acting was OK. But, the story was as stale as the month-old pretzels in the worst bar in town... a big, big town.

So, I was frustrated with the movie. It was tantra-like how the leading male kept letting opportunities pass (for me there were about 2 too many). It was tantra without the payoff. I did become an instant fan of Camilla Belle, though going in I thought another actress would capture my interest. . To me Camilla is a wonderful amalgam of a girl I liked in Middle & High School & a girl I liked when I was 19. That and she has Catherine Keener's cute nose.

I was surprised to see she stars in another movie with Catherine Keener, I'm hoping she was cast as the daughter. I will see soon & report back. She did offer the most convincing acting of the 5 main characters & has a promising future. According to IMDb, she has around 3 pictures for 2015.

I rate the script & the movie 5/10 stars. There is repeated nudity of one female's breasts, but she is not a main character. She serves as a backup plan & sexual outlet for one of the main characters as he searches for "the one" & an ending to his love story.

Knox D. Alford, III