Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (2011)

Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer. Just the name will make you cringe. From two words that rhyme in the title, spelling out a phrase so childish it begs an explanation. Alas, this is not the movie for me. It wasn't made with me in mind. Yet, I fell obligated to give my two cents about it. Because there's nothing that says I can't see it. But after reading the title a person should know if they want to see this.

It's a kids movie. That doesn't mean it has to stoop to the level of utter immaturity. It basks in the same light Nickelodeon's dreadful Television series iCarly does. It relies on repetitive, goofy phrases and dopey antics to keep the plot moving. My question is very simple and bloomed from around the hour mark; why is this summer so film worthy? Why couldn't this summer be contained to a Disney Channel project. It would've saved a lot of innocent parents a wretched trip to the theater.

To revisit my point, kid films don't have to be so immature. They choose to be since we all know it's easier to be immature than be clever. Rather than telling a sweet parable, Judy Moody relies on unfunny antics and a sickening, rambunctious color scheme to carry itself past the eighty minute mark. By thirty minutes we've had enough. At least when this airs on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel in a year or so parents will be blessed with commercial breaks to give them a break from the absolute chaotic camaraderie that just unfolded on screen.

Judy Moody is portrayed by Jordana Beatty. She is not the kind of actress one views as the cute movie girl that makes people go "aww" when something adorable happens. She's more the kind where one small facial expression on her face could bring an unpleasant one on yours. Judy is determined to have a "not bummer summer" and concocts a "Thrill Point" chart where her and her friends will earn useless "Thrill Points" if they complete some sort of cockamamie activity like riding on a roller-coaster or walking a tightrope.

With the help of her annoying brother Stink (Mosteller) and her Aunt Opal (Graham) Judy sets out to have a great summer. One problem, many of her close friends will spend the summer doing strange things no kid does. One is going to Borneo. I couldn't help but think of Survivor when I heard that, and then realized I should be watching that instead.

The biggest problem is the excessive use of mind-numbing slang words. Judy continues to drop slang words in an incoherent and maddening fashion. She says words and phrases like "mega-totally," "rare," "thrill," "thrill-a-rama," "intergalactic booger," "poop picnic," etc. All of which are harmless, but woefully unnecessary. Why does the film need so many bizarre catchphrases. Going back to iCarly, the two words that show has a love affair with are "hobo" and "nub." Why? Not sure, but all I know is neither of those words are funny. Even in the context they use them in.

The setting look to be colored in with a crayon. It reminds me of when Technicolor first came out in 1922 and companies were forcing their films into it. One of the first huge Technicolor films was in 1939 with the beloved classic The Wizard of Oz. The colors are so vibrant and bright they almost make your eyes hurt. Judy Moody uses them a lot. The bright atmosphere is another harmless add, so that will definitely keep little kids intrigued.

When recommending this film I have to say kids under six will appreciate it. Boys are girls I'm not sure. Probably more girls than boys. Despite its jolly disposition, Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer is for the most part dreadful and gives kids no knowledge or moral in return. Instead of taking a child to see something that will not further their decision making or behavior, I'd recommend renting something like Secondhand Lions or Shiloh. They'll learn a lot more, and parents will feel they've spent their money on something worthwhile. Not something tacky and void of any morals or amusement.

Starring: Jordana Beatty, Parris Mosteller, and Heather Graham. Directed by: John Schultz.