Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh (2008)

With a bland and generic title such as "Merry Christmas, *name of show*," one must expect a bland and generic film.

I'll come out and say it now: I like the TV show this film is based off of. The comradery of Drake Bell and Josh Peck usually work with humorous results, often much more than most kids shows of the same genre. However, that's the show, and this is the movie, two totally different things in term of writing, creativity, and watchability.

The premise? Drake and Josh get arrested and are forced to help an orphanage have a truly merry Christmas. Along the way, the group encounters hilarity, self discovery, and the true meaning of Christmas. Mean the while, a cop (this movie's Scrouge) attempts to stop them because he got urinated on by a monkey as a child. True story.

The absolute worst aspect about this film is the writing. Almost every major problem of this film can be traced back to the abysmal screenplay written by Dan Schneider, the creator of the original show. Exhibit A: Drake and Josh need a reason to be arrested so the plot can begin. How so? They are throwing a LEGAL party at their business when some thugs come and crash the party. Like any reasonable person, Josh calls the police. However, in one of the most confusing smacks to the face I've ever seen, the cops come and arrest Josh for no apparent reason whatsoever. To make the, a cop accidentally shoves Josh off of the building, in which he plummets several stories before crashing into the bed of a pickup truck (completely unscathed, of course). The drivers of the truck drive off, oblivious to the man in the back screaming for help and oblivious to the dozens of cop cars chasing them in high pursuit. Josh eventually flies out of the high speed vehicle (again, completely unscathed) and the entire posse of cop cars immediately stop, collect Josh, and go home. Uh...what about the truck? For all they know, the people in the truck were accomplices in crime. But no, they got one guy, its all good.

Exhibit B: When the children of the orphanage find out Drake and Josh are only helping them out to stay out of jail, the children become crushed. Each of them go into in a separate depression that is so phoned in that I thought some of them would attempt suicide. The person who tells them this is a highly compulsive, possibly autistic person who constantly blurts rageful gibberish; if this guy told me anything, I'd just smile and shoo him away. I find it hard to believe these children would believe anything this man says.

Exhibit C: Drake & Josh try to redeem themselves to the children by doing several acts, all of which result in property damage, further depression for the kids, and some possible casualties. However, at the end, the children surprise Drake & Josh at their house and declare this Christmas to be "the best Christmas ever" for absolutely no reason. These jerks destroyed house with an wood chipper and set their Christmas tree on fire, yet they suddenly forgive them? There isn't even a scene when Drake and Josh apologize, its just property damage, property damage, depressed children, best Christmas ever. No transition whatsoever.

Exhibit D: of course the Grinch of this film must have a reason to have a grudge Christmas, but the reason in this film is ridiculous. The grudge: a monkey peed on him as a kid. That's the honest reason. We even get a flashback scene with terrible special effects.

There is literally hundreds of other exhibits, but there is word limit on these reviews so I guess I'm done here. Drake & Josh has worked in other film mediums: "Drake & Josh Go Hollywood" and "Really Big Shrimp" were two entertaining films staring the Drake & Josh characters. For a series finale, "Merry Christmas Drake & Josh" is a complete mockery. To make matters worse, this movie actually replaced the largely hyped "Drake & Josh Take New York" which was meant to be a big budgeted theatrical released blockbuster. What a bargain deal.