This is copied from http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-hellweather.html and written by L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg.
I thought it was funny and it goes with the link of the Weather in Hell, so I included it.
One day they had giant slugs, which I enjoyed immensely! They occasionally repeat (as all forecasts do) so watch out for more slugs!

"If you're like most people, there are going to be some serious changes in your life if and when Hell actually gets around to freezing over. We, for instance, will be purchasing a Sport Utility Vehicle, enjoying a retrospective of Police Academy films, and tuning into radio stations with slogans like "Your Place For Mellow Memories and Laid-Back Listening." With all this at stake, don't you want to be able to keep close track of weather conditions in the Abyss? That's why we're providing HellWeather, the daily weather forecast for Hell."