Re: Ca'c loa.i "qua' khi'ch"

["Hoa Nguyen" <thanhhuy@email.msn.com>]

Hi ba'c An Hai,

>To ba'c Hoa`: DDa'ng ra thi` tui kho^ng tra? lo+`i ba'c vi`
>kho^ng hie^?u sao suy lua^.n cu?a ba'c trong chuye^.n na`y
>la^~n lo^.n lung tung ca?: ba'c nha^`m chuye^.n na`y sang
>chuye^.n kia, ho+n nu+~a ba'c kho^ng suy nghi~ ra ddu+o+.c
>kho?i ca'i shell cu?a ba'c (sorry tui chi? no'i ve^`
>chuye^.n na`y tho^i nhe').
Kho^ng sao to^i tha^'y ba'c a(n no'i cu~ng kho^ng kha'c ba'c AV ma^'y.
Nhu+ng co' gi` cha('c la` ba'c dda~ ra kho?i ca'i vo? cu+'ng cu?a ba'c..
.
>Ba'c la^~n lo^.n giu+~a hai chuye^.n charity va` security.

Ddo' kho^ng pha?i la` ha va^'n dde^` ddo^'i nghi.ch, va` nha^'t la` ba'c
kho^ng dda(.t ro~ chuye^.n security trong message ddo'. To^i kho^ng muo^'n
copy la.i ca? message cu?a ba'c dde^? chu+'ng minh vi` chi? to^'n ba(ng
ta^`n.

>DDu+'ng ve^` ddo^. charity chu+a bie^'t chu+`ng tui ho+n
>ba'c cu~ng ne^n :-).
Dda^u co' gi` dda'ng cu+o+`i, ba'c cu+' no'i nghie^m tu'c thi` to^i co'
the^? tin.  Mo^.t dda(.c ddie^?m cu?a ba'c la` tu+. dde^` cao mi`nh, co'
la^`n ba'c ba?o ba'c la` ngu+o+`i o^n ho`a, thi` to^i cu~ng dda~tin. Tuy
nhie^n, trong tru+o+`ng ho+.p na`y, du` ba'c co' lo`ng nha^n cao, nhu+ng
ba'c kho^ng ne^n khuye^n ngu+o+`i kha'c ddu+`ng ba`y to? lo`ng nha^n cu?a
ho.

>Nhu+ng kho^ng pha?i lu'c na`o cu~ng
>charity ddu+o+.c, dda(.c bie^.t khi security bi. a?nh
>hu+o+?ng.

Ca^u na`y co' ly', nhu+ng kho^ng ddu+o+.c ne^u ra tru+o+'c, ba^y gio+` chi?
ddu+o+. du`ng dde^? ... ca~i nhau tho^i.

>DDa^y la` ddoa.n ma` ba'c kho^ng nghi~ ra ddu+o+.c
>kho?i ca'i shell cu?a ba'c :-).
Ta^'t nhie^n, cu~ng nhu+ ba'c kho' ra kho?i ca'i vo? cu+'ng cu?a ba'c. Mo^~i
ngu+o+`i dde^`u nhi`n va^'n dde^` tu+` ca'i cho^~ ddu+'ng cu?a mi`nh, va`
xe't va^'n dde^` theo suy nghi~ co' nhie^`u ti'nh chu? quan, va` du+.a tre^n
background rie^ng nu+~a. Ca'i background cu?a ba'c lo`ng vo`ng ho+n cu?a
to^i.
Nhu+ng khi to^i nghi~ mo^.t DHS o+? My~ co' ca'i nhi`n no'i chung cu~ng
kho^ng kha'c ma^'y vo+'i vo+'i nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i so^'ng chung quanh, hay
cu~ng ne^n co' ca'i nhi`n nhu+ the^' (nha^.p gia tu`y tu.c).

>Ne^'u ba'c la`
>middle-class, chi? ga(.p panhandlers tre^n ddu+o+`ng ddi
>bo^. tu+` qua'n a(n ra xe thi` he`n na`o cha(?ng tha^'y ho.
>dda'ng thu+o+ng, va` tha^'y lo`ng charity no^?i da^.y. :-)

To^i dda~ ke^? chuye^.n ddi tu+` qua'n a(n ra, tha^'y mo^.t ngu+o+`i
homeless xin 1, 2 quarters, va` to^i dda~tha^'y "to^.i" cho ho. (vi` nghi~)
ho.pha?i kie^'m a(n tu+`ng bu+~a (pha?i xin ddu+o+.c 7-10 ngu+o+`i mo+'i co'
mo^.t bu+~a a(n). Lo`ng nha^n dde^'n tu+. nhie^n, kho^ng co' gi` dda'ng
cu+o+`i. Va` thu+o+`ng ne^'u co' sa(~n to^i cho ho. va`i quarters, co'
ngu+o+`i cu~ng la`m nhu+ to^i, va` co' ngu+o+`i la`m lo+ bo? ddi. Kho^ng ai
ddu+o+.c hay bi. khen che^ gi` he^'t.
>Ne^'u ba'c la` students thi` ba'c pha?i hie^?u co' n` lu'c
>ba'c ga(.p ng` xin tie^`n khi security cu?a ba'c kho^ng
>dda?m ba?o. Cha(?ng ha.n 11 gio+` dde^m ddi bo^. tu+` lab
>ve^`, ddu+o+`ng pho^' va('ng ve?, ga(.p mo^.t o^ng dden xin
>tie^`n ba'c co' muo^'n du+`ng la.i cho kho^ng? Ba'c co'
>bie^'t rie^ng ddoa.n ddu+o+`ng U Avenue o+? Seattle, tre^n
>ddu+o+`ng to+'i DDa.i Ho.c Washington, co' bao nhie^u
>panhandlers kho^ng? Ba'c co' ddu? tie^`n dde^? nga`y na`o
>ddi ho.c cu~ng cho tu+`ng a^'y ng` kho^ng?
Tru+o+`ng ho+.p na`y ra^'t "rie^ng bie^.t" kho^ng ddu+o+.c ba'c no'i
tru+o+'c, ma` chi? cho lo+`i khuye^n chung chung (cho mo.i tru+o+`ng ho+.p
??) "firm but polite". Vi` va^.y to^i mo+'i le^n tie^'ng.

>DDo' la` chu+a
>no'i dde^'n chuye^.n ta.i sao la.i cho ma^'y tha(`ng cha to
>khoe? lu+.c lu+o+~ng na`y ma` kho^ng dde^? tie^`n cho n~ ng`
>o+? VN.
Ba'c ne^n hie^?u dda so^' da^n homeless ddi xin tie^`n ddo' la` mang be^.nh
ta^m tha^`n, hay xua^'t tha^n tu` to^.i, ba^y gio+` co`n co' the^? ddang
nghie^.n nha^.p, ne^n ra^'t kho' kie^'m vie^.c la`m dde^? co' mie^'ng a(n
(nhie^`u ngu+o+`i mang ddang xin la`m vie^.c dde^? ddo^?i la^'y ca'i a(n).
To^i bie^'t trong so^' ddo' co' tay tu+`ng la`m ve^` software hay da.y ho.c
nu+~a. Ha`ng nga`y kho^ng co' co+ quan tu+` thie^.n na`o cho ho. a(n, ne^'u
ho. kho^ng xin ddu+o+.c tie^`n. Vie^.c ddu+a ho. ra kho?i ti`nh tra.ng ddo'
la` vie^.c la`m lo+'n ho+n, ta kho^ng can du+., nhu+ng tru+o+'c ma('t xin
giu'p ho. co' ca'i gi` a(n dde^? so^'ng ho^m nay, ne^'u la`m ddu+o+.c.
Tha^'y ngu+o+`i ddang ddo'i kho^? thi` ta cu+'u ngay ddi khi co' the^?,
chu+' kho^ng hie^?u sao lu'c ddo' ba'c la.i nghi~ to+'i chuye^.n dde^? da`nh
tie^`n ve^` giu'p ngu+o+`i  VN (va` co' cha('c se~ giu'p kho^ng ?).
>
>La^'y mo^.t chuye^.n trong ca'i shell cu?a mi`nh dde^?
>dda'nh gia' n~ chuye^.n kha'c, ro^`i kha'i qua't hoa' le^n
>tha`nh "thie^'u lo`ng nha^n, the^m gia? hi`nh". Tui tha^'y
>mo+'i chi? co' ba'c la` mo^.t. :-)

Ta.i ba'c tha^'y i't qua' ddo' tho^i, ca`ng so^'ng nhie^`u tre^n dda^'t My~
se~ tha^'y sao ngu+o+`i My~gia`u lo`ng tu+` thie^.n  qua' (va` co' le~ va^.y
ho. mo+'i dda(.t na(ng va^'n dde^` nha^n quye^`n ma` nhie^`u ngu+o+`i tha^'y
phi ly').
 La^`n sau ne^'u ba'c
>tu+. dda(.t ba?n tha^n ba'c va`o ddi.a vi. mo^.t DHS, va`
>chu' tro.ng ho+n nu+~a va`o suy lua^.n logic (chu+' kho^ng
>pha?i suy lua^.n purely dictated by emotions) thi` chu'ng ta
>se~ ddo+~ ddu+o+.c n` tranh ca~i vo^ bo^?.
To^i kho^ng pha?i tu+. dda(.t mi`nh trong mo^.t ca'i "shell" kha'c dde^?
bie^'t va^'n dde^`. Chi? vi` ba'c kho^ng no'i ro~ ba'c ddang o+? trong shell
ddo' tho^i. Ca'i logic cu?a ba'c  ra^'t kho^ khan, va` kho^i ha`i, thu+o+`ng
chi? du`ng dde^? tu+. bie^.n ho^., dda'nh lu+`a mi`nh va` ddi.nh lu+`a
ngu+o+`i kha'c.

>Ne^'u ba'c kho^ng
>tu+. dda(.t ddu+o+.c ba?n tha^n ba'c va`o ddi.a vi. mo^.t
>DHS dde^? hie^?u ddu+o+.c n~ va^'n dde^` cu?a ho., thi` i't
>ra ba'c cu~ng ne^n de` da(.t ho+n trong ca'ch tranh lua^.n,
>tra'nh n~ kha'i qua't hoa' oversweeping, ro^`i ke^'t lua^.n
>ba(`ng n~ tu+` xu'c pha.m nhu+ "thie^'u lo`ng nha^n, the^m
>gia? hi`nh". La`m nhu+ va^.y co' hay ho gi` dda^u, chi? la`m
>tranh lua^.n giu+~a to^i va` ba'c tha`nh non-constructive.
>
Khi no'i "du+'t khoa't kho^ng cho tie^`n " la` thie^'u lo`ng nha^n tu+` ca'i
nhi`n cu?a to^i. To^i hy vo.ng giu'p ba'c nhi`n la.i va^'n dde^`, ba(`ng
kho^ng thi` dda`nh chi.u tho^i. I't nha^'t cu~ng giu'p to^i hie^?u ro~ ve^`
ba'c.

>Tu+o+ng tu+. va^.y, chuye^.n ca^?n tha^.n khi ga(.p ng` la.
>(du` la` VN) no+i co^ng co^.ng tre^n dda^'t My~ la` chuye^.n
>security, kho^ng pha?i la` chuye^.n relationship.
>
Security chi? la` mo^.t khia' ca.nh cu?a ddo+`i so^'ng, du` cho la` to^'i
u+u ddi. Nhu+ng co`n co' va^'n dde^` relationship tha^.t ddo', nha^'t la`
giu+~a nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i "ddo^`ng hu+o+ng".. Ne^'u giu+~a VK va` DHS xa^y
du+.ng ddu+o+.c su+. tho^ng ca?m, tin ca^.y nhau thi` co' pha?i to^'t ho+n
kho^ng. Tra'nh vo^ ti`nh du+.ng le^n ca'i ha`ng ra`o ta^m ly' dde^? nga(n
ca'ch.

>Co`n chuye^.n ba'c tin hay kho^ng tin n~ gi` tui ke^? thi`
>kho^ng quan tro.ng. Nhu+ng ca'ch ba'c ddu+a va^'n dde^` ddo'
>ra tha^.t kho^ng constructive ti' na`o. Hoa(.c ba'c kho^ng
>tin thi` vie^'t thu+ ho?i tui dde^? tui cung ca^'p the^m
>so^' lie^.u va` chu+'ng co+', hoa(.c ba'c tin thi` im,
>hoa(.c ba'c tha^'y kho^ng ddu? du+~ lie^.u dde^? ke^'t
>lua^.n, muo^'n bie^'t the^m, thi` dde^` nghi. tha(?ng nhu+
>va^.y. No'i ddu+o+.c gi` tre^n list tui se~ no'i, n~ gi`
>kho^ng no'i ddu+o+.c tre^n list vi` ly' do privacy thi` tui
>se~ email cho ba'c. Ca^`n gi` ma` ba'c pha?i a(n no'i a^.m
>o+`, a'm chi? the^'? :-)
>
To^i co' no'i a^.m o+` , a'm chi? gi` dda^u. Ca'i o^ng ba.n say ru+o+.u cu?a
bac' dde^m ho^m  co' the^? la`m ba^'t cu+' chuye^.n gi` chu+' ! (ne^n ba'c
dda~ kho^ng no'i ro~ ho+n tho^i ???).
N. Ho`a