Phong tha'i VN (Was: Re: Ga(.p Ngu+o+`i ...)

[Frank Nguyen <frank.nguyen@juno.com>]

Cha`o ca? la`ng,

To^i thi` ddo^` ra(`ng ba'c AnHai hoa(.c ba.n cu?a ba'c a^'y hoa(.c ca?
hai va^~n co`n giu+~ ra^'t nhie^`u phong tha'i VN ne^n mo+'i de^~ bi.
nha^.n bie^'t nhu+ va^.y\. Va^.y phong tha'i VN la` gi`?  Tru+o+'c khi
ddi va`o va^'n dde^` dde^? to^i ke^? ngoa`i le^` cho ca'c ba'c nghe ba
ca^u chuye^.n:  Ca^u chuye^.n tho+`i xu+a, ca^u chuye^.n tho+`i nay va`
ca^u chuye^.n ba^y gio+`

1.  Ca^u chuye^.n tho+`i xu+a
Nhu+~ng nga`y sau tha'ng Tu+ na(m 75, mie^`n Nam no'i chung va` Sa`i go`n
no'i rie^ng dde^`u tra?i qua giai ddoa.n qua^n qua?n\.  Ca'c chu' bo^.
ddo^.i ddu+o+.c di.p tie^'p xu'c va` sinh hoa.t vo+'i ngu+o+`i da^n Nam
bo^. nhie^`u ho+n\.  Co' nhie^`u chu' bo^. ddo^.i va` ca? ca'n bo^.
nho+'n nu+~a dda~ ta^.p ho.c ca'ch a(n ma(.c, no'i na(ng cho <<gio^'ng
da^n Se` go`n>> dde^~ de^~ ho`a nha^.p vo+'i cuo^.c so^'ng\.   Nhie^`u
ngu+o+`i cu~ng kha' tha`nh co^ng nhu+ng dda pha^`n thi` kho^ng the^? na`o
da^'u ddu+o+.c ca'i go^'c cu?a mi`nh\.  Du` ra(`ng dda~ bie^'t ma(.c a'o
so+ mi bo? trong qua^`n, ddi gia^`y co' vo+' dda`ng hoa`ng (trong Nam
xu+a kia va^~n va^.y), dda^`u to'c la'ng mu+o+'t ma` va^~n cu+' ddeo
ddo^i ki'nh ra^m re? tie^`n dden thui tre^n ma('t the^' co' che^'t kho^ng
chu+'!  Nhie^`u o^ng ca'n a(n ma(.c ra^'t gio^'ng Sa`i go`n nhu+ng va^~n
kho^ng que^n ddeo ca'i tu'i da (co' ngu+o+`i go.i la` xa`-co^.t) dde^?
cho ngu+o+`i kha'c bie^'t mi`nh la` ca'n bo^.\.

Va^.y thi` du` co' che da^'u hay gia? da.ng, ne^'u tinh ma('t va^~n
nha^.n ra ddu+o+.c\.  DDo' la` chu+a ke^? phu+o+ng ngu+~, gio.ng no'i va`
phong tha'i cua? mi`nh nu+~a\.

Joke 1:  
Chu' bo^. ddo^.i trong tho+`i qua^n qua?n cha(?ng bie^'t ddu+o+.c ho.c
ta^.p ra sao, nhu+ng mo^~i khi dde^` ca^.p to+'i mie^`n Ba('c chu' dde^`u
he^'t lo+`i ca tu.ng\.  Cha'u be' thie^'u nie^n mie^`n Nam ho?i:

- Ngoa`i Ba('c co' Hon-da ho^ng chu'?
- Co' chu+'!  Thie^'u gi`!
- Co' ti-vi ho^ng chu'?
- Ti-vi thi` nha` na`o cha(?ng co'!
- Co`n Fri-gi-daire chu'?
- Cha.y dda^`y ddu+o+`ng a^'y chu+' li.!

Joke 2;

Cha'u mie^`n Nam ho?i chu' bo^. ddo^.i:

- Ngoa`i Ba('c co' ca` phe^ ho^ng chu'?
- Co' chu+' sao la.i kho^ng!
- The^' co' ca` pha'o ho^ng chu'?
- Co' luo^n!
- Co`n ca` chua?
- Co' ta^'t!
- Ca` cho+'n chu'?
- Co' nhie^`u ... Ma` ca` cho+'n la` gi` the^' hu+??

Nghe lo+`i hue^nh hoang, khoe khoang, phe't la'c ddo^i khi cu~ng la`m cho
ngu+o+`i ta ne^'u tre^n co+ thi` tha^'y buo^`n cu+o+`i, to^.i nghie^.p;
co`n ddang o+? the^' du+o+'i thi` de^~ bi. cho.c tu+'c, no^?i gia^.n\. 

2.  Ca^u chuye^.n tho+`i nay
Ca'ch dda^y ba na(m tre^n chuye^'n bay tu+` Nam Cali ve^` Ba('c to^i
tu+`ng mu.c ki'ck tha^'y mo^.t nho'm chu+`ng ho+n chu.c ngu+o+`i dda`n
o^ng cu+o+`i no'i o^`n a`o ba(`ng tie^'ng Vie^.t, pha^`n ddo^ng no'i
gio.ng Sa`i go`n\.  Ne^'u chi? nghe gio.ng no'i kho^ng tho^i thi` chi?
bie^'t la` ngu+o+`i mie^`n Nam nhu+ng khi nhi`n ca'ch ho. a(n ma(.c thi`
to^i cha('c 100% la` DHS hoa(.c tu nghie^.p gi` ddo'\.  Bo+?i vi` tro+`i
lu'c a^'y ddang la` mu`a He`, ai na^'y dde^`u a'o thun qua^`n short cho
ma't me? thi` ho+n pha^n nu+?a bo.n ho. ddo'ng comple^ ca` va.t, ma`
kie^?u a'o qua^`n ra^'t xu+a\.   Ho. no'i chuye^.n ra^'t o^`n ao` tu+`
pho`ng ddo+.i cho to+'i le^n phi co+\.  DDo^i khi co'  ngu+o+`i choa`ng
vai ba' co^? ngu+o+`i kha'c no'i chuye^.n thi` tha`o ro^`i cu+o+`i rinh
ri'ch\.  Ca? nho'm na`y la`m ai trong pho`ng ddo+.i cu~ng chu' y'\.

Ca^u chuye^.n thu+' ba la` cu?a ba'c AnHai to^i cho va`o cuo^'i\.  Ba^y
gio+` ta co' the^? no'i chuye^.n phong tha'i VN ddu+o+.c ro^`i\.  

Co' bao gio+` ca'c ba'c nhi`n da'ng mo^.t ngu+o+`i ddang ddi, ddu+'ng,
ngo^`i ta.i mo^.t no+i xa xo^i la. la^~m nhu+ dda^'t My~ ma` ddoa'n
cha('c ngu+o+`i a^'y la` VN chu+a?  Phong tha'i cu?a ngu+o+`i Vie^.t,
nha^'t la` ngu+o+`i lo+'n le^n o+? VN, ra^'t de^~ cho ta ddoa'n
ddu+o+.c\.  Ngu+o+`i Vie^.t mi`nh ddi co' da'ng lu?i thu?i, la^`m lu?i,
cha^.m, ke'o le^ the^ tu+`ng bu+o+'c, vu+`a ddi vu+`a nhi`n xuo^'ng
dda^'t nhu+ mo^.t ca'ch nha^~n nhu.c chi.u ddu+.ng; tha^'y ha^`u nhu+
kho^ng co' sinh khi' va` na(ng lu+.c\.  Ca'i da'ng ddi na`y thu+o+`ng
nhi`n tha^'y o+? nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i chu+a dde^'n tuo^?i gia` ma` dda~
tha^'y gia`\.  

Co`n bo.n tre? sinh ra be^n na`y va` ngu+o+`i ba?n xu+' co' khuynh
hu+o+'ng ddi ra?o bu+o+'c, nhanh va` ma.nh\.  Ngu+o+`i gia` ye^u tay
cha^n run ra^?y thi` kho^ng no'i la`m gi`\.

Co' nhie^`u ngu+o+`i ddi ddu+'ng ma` mi`nh kho^ng the^? la^`m la^~n vo+'i
ca'c gio^'ng da^n kha'c\.  Cha(?ng ha.n nhu+ vu+`a ddi hoa(.c ddu+'ng
vo+'i mo^.t ca'nh tay khoanh sau lu+ng, ddu'ng, mo^.t ca'nh tay khoanh
sau lu+ng thay vi` thu+o+`ng la` tru+o+'c ngu+.c, co`n tay kia buo^ng
tho?ng\.  Da'ng ddi na`y coi mo+'i ye^'u dduo^'i la`m sao vi` nhu+~ng
ngu+o+`i na`y thu+o+`ng la` ra^'t ga^`y mo+'i khoanh tay nhu+ the^'
ddu+o+.c\.

Ngoa`i phong tha'i VN, ca'c ddo^` trang su+'c cu~ng no'i le^n ngu+o+`i
mi`nh\.  Nha^'t la` ca'c ba`, ca'c ba'c cu+' chu' y' ma` xem, mu+o+`i ba`
ba'c tha^'y ddeo vo`ng va`ng loa.i ba^?y ca'i thi` cha('c ha(?n mu+o+`i
ba` dde^`u la` VN\.  Hoa(.c nhu+ vo`ng ca^?m tha.ch, mu+o+`i co^ he^'t
chi'n la` Vie^.t\.  Mu+o+`i pha^`n tra(m kia co' the^? lo^.n qua Ta`u\. 
Nhu+ng hi`nh nhu+ ngu+o+`i Ta`u chi? co' ma^'y ngu+o+`i gia` mo+'i ddeo
vo`ng ca^?m tha.ch thi` pha?i\.

Phong tha'i VN co`n da`i, khi na`o ra~nh to^i se~ tro+? la.i chuye^.n
na`y\.  Ba'c na`o co' nha^.n xe't gi` the^m thi` xin cho va`i ca^u ba`n
loa.n\.  Co`n ba^y gio+` xin tro+? la.i vo+'i ca^u chuye^.n cu?a ba'c
AnHai

Theo to^i nho+ mang ma'ng, thi` ba'c AnHai ddi cho+. My~ cu`ng mo^.t
ngu+o+`i ba.n (cha('c ha(?n cu~ng DHS) thi` ga(.p mo^.t ba` ma(.t ma`y
phu'c ha^.u\.  Kho^ng nho+' ba'c AH va` ba.n la` ngu+o+`i chu? ddo^.ng
ho?i chuye^.n la`m quen hay la` ba` kia ho?i tru+o+'c\.  Theo to^i ddo'an
thi` ba` kia ho?i tru+o+'c, co' le~ vi` nghe hai ba'c no'i chuye^.n
hoa(.c ca'i <<phong tha'i VN>> ma` hai ba'c va^~n co`n quye^'n luye^'n
kho^ng no+~ dde^? no' la.i que^ nha`\. 

Gi` chu+' nhi`n ngu+o+`i na`o o+? VN mo+'i qua de^~ la('m!  Cu~ng nhu+ VK
ve^` tha(m nha` cu~ng de^~ bi. nha^.n ma(.t va` che'm dde.p tho^i\.  
Ba'c Ho^` Thanh Phong khi ddi co^ng ta'c qua dda^y ddang ddu+'ng tru+o+'c
cu?a hotel cu~ng bi. mo^.t o^ng ddang ddi da.o ma't lu` lu` to+'i ho?i
ba(`ng tie^'ng Vie^.t\.  Cu~ng may kho^ng pha?i la` VK qua' khi'ch, vi`
nghe ba'c Phong no'i co`n ddu+o+.c mo+`i ve^` nha` cho+i kia ma`!

Tro+? la.i ca^u chuye^.n, ba'c AnHai va` ba.n bi. ba` a^'y ho?i lung tung
ddu? thu+' ro^`i tu+. nhie^n ba` no^?i no'ng tro+? ne^n qua' khi'ch
chu+?i bo+'i tu`m lum, chu+?i luo^n qua Bill Clinton, chu+?i la^`m ba^`m,
chu+?i ga('t cu? kie^.u giu+~a cho+. ba(`ng tie^'ng My~ la^~n tie^'ng
Vie^.t\.  Ba` la`m  nhu+ ba` ddang ddu+'ng giu+~a cho+. DDo^`ng Xua^n
be^n que^ nha` kho^ng ba(`ng\.

Nhu+ng ma` ngu+o+`i ta co' no'i <<kho^ng co' lu+?a, la`m sao co'
kho'i>>\.  To^i ho^` nghi ca^u tra? lo+`i cu?a ba'c AnHai va` ba.n ba'c
a^'y la('m\.  Vi` co' mo^.t ca^u chu+?i cu?a ba` kho^ng ddu'ng vo+'i
ma.ch va(n ca^u chuye^.n ke^?\.  To^i nho+' mang ma'ng no' la` <<nu+o+'c
My~ thie^'u gi` nha^n ta`i ...>>\.  Ne^'u ca'c ba'c tra? lo+`i qua dda^y
ddi ho.c hoa(.c ho.c xong xin ddu+o+.c vie^.c ro^`i o+? la.i thi` cha(?ng
ai no^?i no'ng la`m gi`\.  Va` ne^'u ddi ho.c ba(`ng ho.c bo^?ng thi`
ca`ng de^~ tra? lo+`i, vi` ngu+o+`i ho?i se~ kho?i tha('c ma('c la`<<
tie^`n dda^u ma` no' ddi ho.c be^n na`y ddu+o+.c, trong khi ddo' mi`nh
ddi la`m mu+o+'t mo^` ho^i mo+'i ddu? tie^`n cho con va`o ddu+o+.c dda.i
ho.c>>\. 

 Ho.c bo^?ng tu+. tha^n no' dda~ no'i le^n ngu+o+`i nha^.n thuo^.c va`o
ha.ng gio?i\.  Nhu+ng chi? gio?i tho^i chu+' chu+a pha?i la` nha^n ta`i,
bo+?i vi` ho. co`n ca^`n pha?i<< ho.c>> va` ca^`n pha?i <<xin>> mo+'i
ddu+o+.c\.  Chu+' kho^ng pha?i ngu+o+`i ta nghe tha^'y mi`nh gio?i ro^`i
ngu+o+`i ta go+?i gia^'y <<mo+`i>> mi`nh to+'i, cho mi`nh tie^`n dde^?
mi`nh ho.c cho ngu+o+`i ta tho?a lo`ng ngu+o+~ng mo^.\.

Va` ca^u <<nu+o+'c My~ thie^'u gi` nha^n ta`i... >>, to^i ddo'an pha^`n
cuo^'i cu?a ca^u dda~ la` << ... ca^`n gi` hai ddu+'a ma`y>>, cha('c
nha('m va`o ba'c Ha?i va` ba.n ba'c ta\.  Nhu+ tre^n dda~ no'i, ne^'u
chi? no'i xin ddu+o+.c  ho.c bo^?ng va` may ma('n no' cho thi` ngu+o+`i
nghe de^~ da`ng thoa? ma~n vo+'i ca^u tra? lo+`i\.  Nhu+ng to^i ddo'an,
chi? ddoa'n tho^i nhe', la` hai ba'c dda~ <<phe't la'c>> :-) dda.i kha'i
ra(`ng no' <<mo+`i>> mi`nh sang be^n na`y dde^? ddi ho.c hoa(.c ddi la`m
...  Ho.c bo^?ng thi` no' cho kho+i kho+i va^.y (nga^`m y' la` kho?i
pha?i xin gi` so^'t ca?)\.

Ca'i chuye^.n mo+`i na`y thi` to^i dda~ nghe vo^ kho^'i\.  Nhu+~ng ca'i
gia^'y mo+`i, job offer hoa(.c cha^'p nha^.n va`o ho.c thu+o+`ng ddu+o+.c
tho^?i pho^`ng va` quan tro.ng hoa'\.  Nhu+ng nhu+~ng chuye^.n tru+o+'c
khi ddu+o+.c <<mo+`i>> la` da^'u dda' no^.i bo^., ca^`y cu.c xin xo? ca?
trong la^~n ngoa`i  thi` cha(?ng ai bao gio+` nha('c to+'i\.

Ne^'u ba'c AnHai va` ba.n kho^ng bo^'c phe't la` mo+`i thi` coi nhu+ to^i
ddoa'n sai, co`n ba` gia` thi` ddu'ng la` chu+?i mo^.t ca^u la~ng xe.t
cha(?ng a(n nha^.u dda^u va`o dda^u (Chu+?i Clinton thi` ai chu+?i va`
chu+?i lu'c na`o cu~ng ddu+o+.c :-))  Qua? tha^.t nu+o+'c My~ kho^ng
thie^'u nha^n ta`i, chi? thie^'u nha^n co^ng tho^i, ba(`ng co+' la`
nu+o+'c My~ ha(`ng na(m va^~n cho nha^.p cu+ ha`ng tra(m nga`n ngu+o+`i
tu+` kha('p the^' gio+'i de^? tra'm ca'i lo^? ho^?ng nhu ca^`u nha^n
co^ng\.  Cho ho.c bo^?ng dde^? dda`o ta.o va` giu+~ la.i la`m vie^.c
cu~ng la` mo^.t hi`nh thu+'c dda^`u tu+ nha^n co^ng tho^i\.

Cuo^'i cu`ng la` y' kie^'n cu?a to^i ve^` va^'n dde^` na`y ra sao?
To^i cho ra(`ng cu+' vie^.c no'i tha^.t, kho^ng co' gi` pha?i e de` ca?\,
 Tu+` tru+o+'c dde^'n nay chu+a co' tin tu+'c, tho^ng tin na`o ke^?
ra(`ng DHS bi. ha`nh hung hoa(.c bi. gie^'t vi` nha^.n mi`nh la` DHS ca?,
vi` va^.y kho^ng co' co+ so+? dde^? pha?i lo so+. khi no'i chuye^.n vo+'i
chi'nh ddo^`n ba`o mi`nh ga(.p o+? nu+o+'c ngoa`i\.

Nhu+ng tra'nh cho+' phe't la'c, cho+' tuye^n truye^`n\.  DDa.i kha'i
cho+' bo^'c phe't nhu+ ke^? o+? tre^n, cho+' tuye^n truye^`n kie^?u
<<nho+` o+n Ba'c va` dda?ng, nho+` su+. nghie^.p ddo^?i mo+'i cu?a dda?ng
... to^i mo+'i ddu+o+.c ddi du ho.c>> v.v...  A` ma` ba'c na`o thu+.c
su+. ca?m tha^'y <<nho+` o+n Ba'c va` DDa?ng>> mo+'i ddu+o+.c ddi du ho.c
thi` gio+ tay cho to^i bie^'t vo+'i na`o!  Co`n chuye^.n ddo^?i mo+'i
thi` ddo^'i vo+'i ca'c ba'c sinh sau dde? muo^.n hoa(.c lo+'n le^n tu+`
mie^`n Ba('c mo+'i cho no' la` mo+'i, chu+' chu'ng to^i trong Nam thi`
coi no' la` thu+' cu~ ri'ch cu~ ro+, ne^n cho+' co' ma` tuye^n truye^`n\.
 Nhu+ng <<cu~ ngu+o+`i mo+'i ta>> ne^n cu~ng cha(?ng tra'ch ddu+o+.c\. 
The^' nhu+ng ca? mo^.t nu+o+'c dda~ va` ddang ddem no' le^n tha`nh mo^.t
su+. nghie^.p, kinh tha^.t!

Sau nu+~a, ha~y cu+' le^~ phe'p tra? lo+`i cho ho. ddu? ba ca^u, ro^`i
thi` mi`nh pha?i ho?i ngu+o+.c la.i cho ddu'ng le^~\.  Dda.i kha'i
chuye^?n hu+o+'ng ca^u chuye^.n nhu+ the^' na`y:  <<Sao ba'c cu+' ho?i
cha'u nhu+ co^ng an ho?i cung the^'!  Cha'u xin phe'p ba'c cho cha'u ho?i
tha(m ma^'y ca^u ddu+o+.c kho^ng?>>  Tru+` phi ngu+o+`i ddo^'i die^.n co'
dda^`u o'c dda(.c nhu+ dda^'t se't thi` mo+'i <<no^. khi' xung thie^n>>
vo+'i ca^u tra? lo+`i na`y\.  Ho. de^~ da`ng cu+o+`i xoa`, vi` tho+`i
na`o bo.n co^ng an cu~ng dda'ng ghe't ca?\.  A`, tru+` ba'c La^m co^ng an
la`ng mi`nh tho^i he'n! :-)

Tho^i dde^? lu'c kha'c no'i chuye^n tie^'p, ca'c ba'c nhe'!

Frank Nguyen

PS:  A`, ba'c AnHai cho ho?i mo^.t ca^u nhe'!  Ho.c gi` ma` la^u va^.y,
tu+` na(m 93 cho to+'i gio+` va^~n chu+a xong a`?  Hay la` ba'c ho.c la.i
tu+` na(m dda^`u freshman cu?a undergraduate dda^'y ho+?? :-) 
  

___________________________________________________________________
Get the Internet just the way you want it.
Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month!
Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj.