[joke] Why bicylces are better than ...

[HUNG QUANG NGO <hngo@cs.umn.edu>]

WHY BICYCLES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
* Bicycles don't get pregnant.
* You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.
* Bicycles don't have parents.
* Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
* You can share your Bicycle with your friends.
* Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.
* When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.
* Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.
* Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.
* Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.
* You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle"
  unless you go out to buy one yourself.
* If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.
* If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.
* If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle.
* If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize
  before you ride it again.
* You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get
  frustrated.
* Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you
  dump it.
* Bicycles don't get headaches.
* Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
* Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.
* Bicycles don't care if you're late.
* You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
* If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
* You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having
  to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
* The only protection you have to wear when riding your Bicycle is a
  decent helmet.
* When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had
  the last time you were on your Bicycle.

WHY BICYCLES ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
(Heard the old joke? -- A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!)
* Bicycles don't work late.
* Your Bicycle stays as clean as you want it to.
* Bicycles don't have parents or kids.
* Bicycles don't get sick.
* Bicycles don't get overweight, except as per your convenience.
* If your Bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
* If your Bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
* You can check out the guy who works on your Bicycle.
* If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize
  before you ride it again.
* Your Bicycle always has time for you.
* Bicycles don't complain and don't ride away from you when the road
  gets rough.
* Bicycles don't watch TV.
* Bicycles don't shave.
* Bicycles don't snore.
* Bicycles don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.
* Bicycles are better protection in a bad neighborhood.
* If you don't like the size of your bicycle you can get a new one.
* You can try out as many bikes as you like before you get your own.
* You don't have to feed your bicycle.
* Bicycles never argue, you are always right.
* Bicycles never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
* Bicycles never try to show you off to their friends.
* Bicycles don't come home drunk after a night out with its buddies.
* Bicycles don't sneak around with other bicycles.
* Bicycles don't care what you look like or what your age is.
* Bicycles don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
* Bicycles don't care if you have to work late.
* When you go riding, your bicycle doesn't care if other bicycles are
  bigger or better.
* Bicycles don't care about their performance.
* Bicycles don't get you pregnant.
* Bicycles don't have mothers.
* When you've finished a ride, you can get off.
* You don't have to praise a bike after a ride.
* Bicycles don't sulk.
* Bicycles don't bore you.
* Bicycles don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting riders.
* Bicycles don't have to prove anything.
* Bicycles don't try to change you once you've bought them.
* Bicycles don't get jealous of your male colleagues.
* Bicycles never interrogate you.
* Bicycles don't frat in bed [or elsewhere!].
* Bicycles don't leave smelly inner tubes lying around on the floor.
* Second hand bikes don't brag about previous owners.
* Second hand bikes don't go to see previous owners for a ride when
  you're out of town.
* You don't have to explain to a bike if you don't feel like a ride.
* Bicycles never put you down.
* Bicycles don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
* Bicycles don't have egos.
* Bicycles don't refuse to ask for directions when they're lost.
* Bicycles don't need remote control units.
* When you're lost you don't have to argue with it about stopping for
  directions.
* When it's going too fast into a curve you can slow it down.
* When you need someone to ride with it's happy to go.
* You buy the tools it needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
* You don't have to explain to it the need for matching jersey and shorts.
* You don't have to continually assure it that its crank length is just
  right.
* You determine the length and frequency of the rides, and you're always
  on top.
* It never finishes before you do.
* It doesn't complain about you going out to dinner with your women
  friends rather than staying at home with it.
* You never get helpful suggestions from its mother.
* It will ride with you even on Super Bowl Sunday.
* It never complains if you put on a few pounds.
* When its dysfunctional you know how to get it fixed (and know that it
  can be fixed).
* If you decide to get a new bicycle you don't have to give up more than
  half of everything you have.
* It will never earn more that you do for the same job just because it's
  a bicycle.
* It never spends a "night out with the bikes" and comes home with a
  strange rash on its saddle.
* It will never turn into a beer bellied blob of metal on the couch in
  front of the TV.

Wassalam,

Budi W. Soetjipto
-----------------
Department of Management & Labor Relations
James J. Nance College of Business Administration
Cleveland State University
Cleveland, OH. 44115
U. S. A.

--
STOP-LANGGANAN: 'unsubscribe' ke: fe-ui-request@ui.ac.id
START-LANGGANAN:  'subscribe' ke: fe-ui-request@ui.ac.id