Chuye^.n cu+o+`i (fwd)

[AnHai Doan <anhai@cs.washington.edu>]

>From VKS:
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 1997 21:37:24 +-900
From: Tran Cong So 


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a^'p tru+'ng voi

Co' mo^.t ca(.p vo+. cho^`ng ddi du li.ch o+? cha^u Phi va` ho. ddu+o+.c nhi`n tha^'y VOI la`
mo^.t con thu' ma` ho. chu+a tu+`ng ga(.p tru+o+'c ddo' va` ho. ca?m tha^'y ra^'t thi'ch va`
muo^'n ti`m hie^?u ve^` voi. Ve^` ca'ch sinh sa?n cu?a voi, ho. ddu+o+.c ngu+o+`i hu+o+'ng da^~n
(vo^'n la` mo^.t member cu?a LANG-CUOI) cho bie^'t voi dde? tru+'ng va` a^'p tru+'ng.
Bie^'t va^.y, ho. ngo? y' muo^'n xin mo^.t qua? tru+'ng voi ve^` nu+o+'c dde^? cho no+? tha`nh
voi va` ddu+o+.c ngu+o+`i hu+o+'ng da^~n ddu+a cho mo^.t qua? du+a ha^'u.
Ve^` nu+o+'c, hai vo+. cho^`ng thay phie^n ngo^`i a^'p ma` ma~i va^~n chu+a tha^'y tru+'ng no+?.
(ddoa.n na`y tro+? ddi mo+'i thu' vi.)
Mo^.t ho^m ngu+o+`i cho^`ng ddang ngo^`i a^'p thi` co' ddu+'a be' ha`ng xo'm qua cho+i. Sau
khi kie^?m tra, no' reo le^n:
-"Ba'c o+i, tru+'ng voi no+? ro^`i"
-"Sao cha'u bie^'t?"
-"Cha'u so+` tha^'y ca'i vo`i"

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Tho+`i gian sa('p he^'t


  - Em xin no'i vo+'i o^ng ra(`ng 40 phu't nu+~a la` cho^`ng em se~ ve^` dda^'y.
  - Nhu+ng to^i co' la`m gi` dda'ng che^ tra'ch dda^u.
  - Chi'nh la` the^' dda^'y. Ma` tho+`i gian thi` sa('p he^'t ro^`i.
                                                                         
st

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Va'y

Chi. em phu. nu+~ ta da.o na`y ra^'t thi'ch ma(.c va'y. Va'y da`i , va'y nga('n, Juy'p...
Nhu+ng cu~ng co' ba^'t tie^.n, nha^'t la` khi ma(.c va'y nga('n ma` ddi xe ma'y hoa(.c le^n o^
to^.

Co' mo^.t co^ thu+ ky', lie^`n nghi~ ra mo^.t ca'ch, Juy'p bo' cu?a co^ xe? mo^.t ddu+o+`ng o+?
phi'a sau, nhu+ng la.i ddi'nh the^m ha`ng cu'c cho co' ve? ki'n dda'o. Ca'ch na`y co'
ca'i tie^.n la` khi ca^`n thi` co' the^? no+'i cu'c ra.

Mo^.t ho^m, xe ma'y co^ bi. ho?ng, co^ pha?i ddi la`m ba(`ng xe buy't. Ngu+o+`i ddi ddo^ng,
ne^n pha?i xe^'p ha`ng. DDe^'n lu+o+.t co^ vi` sa`n xe cao qua' co^ lu'ng tu'ng ma~i ma`
kho^ng le^n ddu+o+.c. Co^ pha?i tho` tay ra sau no+'i bo+'t cu'c, la. qua' no+'i he^'t ca? ma`
cu~ng kho^ng the^? ca^'t cha^n le^n ddu+o+.c. Bo^~ng co' hai ba`n tay na^ng mo^ng co^ le^n.
Co^ ngu+o+.ng chi'n ca? ma(.t nhu+ng ro^`i thi` cu~ng le^n ddu+o+.c xe. Sau khi le^n xe co^
quay la.i ca?m o+n ngu+o+`i dda`n o^ng dda~ giu'p ddo+~ mi`nh va` tha(?ng tay ta't o^ng ta:
"Ai cho phe'p o^ng cha.m va`o mo^ng to^i".
Ngu+o+`i dda`n o^ng cu~ng qua't tu+o+'ng le^n: "The^' ai cho phe'p co^ co+?i khuy qua^`n
to^i".

---------------------------
	So sa'nh.
   Mo^.t chu' voi so^'ng trong ru+`ng , chu' chu+a bao gio+` ga(.p ngu+o+`i ca?.Mo^.t ho^m
chu' nhi`n tha^'y mo^.t anh tho^? da^n . Chu' ra^'t to` mo` nhi`n anh ta . Va` khi anh
ta la.i ga^`n chu' lie^`n ho?i:
 - Na`y , ta.i sao ma`y chu+a che^'t ha??
Anh tho^? da^n nga.c nhie^n qua' :
 - Ta.i sao tao pha?i che^'t co+ chu+'?
 - a`! Vi` tao nghi~ vo+'i ca'i vo`i nga('n nhu+ the^' kia thi` la`m sao ma` ma`y kie^'m
a(n ddu+o+.c . Che^'t ddo'i tho^i.

--------------------------
Ma'y go.t khoai.
  Mo^.t la^`n ngu+o+`i Nga ddu+o+.c ngu+o`i My~ mo+`i sang xem nhu+~ng co^ng nghe^. mo+'i trong
nga`nh che^' bie^'n thu+.c pha^?m.Ho. ddu+o+.c tha^'y ngu+o+`i My~ go.t ca` ro^'t ba(`ng ma'y nhanh
nhu+ the^' na`o.Cu+' ddo^? tu+`ng so.t va`o va` chi? 10 phu't sau la` ca` ro^'t dda~ ddu+o+.c go.t
xong.Mo^.t tha'ng sau ngu+o+`i Nga cu~ng mo+`i ngu+o+`i My~ sang dde^? xem ma'y go.t khoai
ta^y.Ngu+o+`i Nga ra^'t tu+. ha`o khi so.t khoai ta^y cu?a mi`nh ddu+o+.c go.t xong kha'
nhanh , tha^m tri' co`n ho+n ca? My~.Nhu+ng khi ddo^? dde^'n so.t thu+' 3 va`o ma'y thi`
bo^~ng nhie^n tu+` trong ma'y chui ra 3 ca'i dda^`u va` no'i :
 - DDo^? gi` ma` la('m the^' ? Go.t mo?i he^'t ca? tay ro^`i.
 - ?!?!?!... st

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Logic
	Mo^.t anh ga`n ddo^~ xe ma'y mua xa(ng o+? ca^y xa(ng. khi nha^n vie^n ba'n xa(ng ddang
bo+m xa(ng, anh ta ga~i dda^`u ma` kho^ng bo? "no^`i co+m ddie^.n". Tha^'y chuye^.n chu+o+'ng
qua', nha^n vie^n ba'n xa(ng no'i:
	- Na`y anh kia, anh kho^ng bo? mu~ thi` ga~i dda^`u la`m sao ddu+o+.c ?
	- Co`n anh, lie^.u anh co' co+?i qua^`n khi ga~i mo^ng kho^ng ?

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Nghi ngo+`

a^`y Hu`ng ho.c o+? Ha` No^.i ve^`, ba` ngoa.i ho?i:
- o+? tre^n a^'t cha('c da^n tha`nh pho^' ho. dda nghi la('m pha?i kho^ng?
- Sao la.i the^' a.?
- Vi` ba` tha^'y ho. ba?o ma`y pha?i ho.c.... tin co`n gi`!
-???
(Tri'ch " Hoa ho.c tro`")

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Ky` thi tie^'ng Anh

Co' mo^.t ca^.u ho.c tro` ho.c tie^'ng Anh ho+i ke'm mo^.t chu't. DDe^'n ky` thi va^'n dda'p,
ca^.u ra^'t lo la('ng. Khi va`o pho`ng thi co^ gia'o ho?i:
+ Anh ha~y dda(.t ca^u vo+'i ddo^.ng tu+`  to love.
Ca^.u ho.c sinh nghi~ ma~i mo+'i no'i ddu+o+.c mo^.t ca^u:
- I love you!
Co^ gia'o ra^'t ngu+o+.ng nhu+ng cu~ng co^' to? ve? bi`nh ti~nh va` ho?i tie^'p:
+ Good! Another sentence?
Ca^.u ho.c sinh kho^ng hie^?u cu+' nga^?n ma(.t le^n, tha^'y va^.y co^ gia'o la.i pha?i di.ch
ra tie^'ng Vie^.t ca^u ho?i cu?a mi`nh:
+ Anh ha~y dda(.t ca^u kha'c.
Ca^.u ho.c sinh bi' qua', nghi~ mo^.t lu'c mo+'i ddu+o+.c the^m mo^.t ca^u:
- I love you very much!
Co^ gia'o ...

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Si'nh ngoa.i

Trong va(n pho`ng cu?a co^ng ty pha^n ca^'p dda^'t tha`nh pho^'. Mo^.t ca'n bo^. vui ve?
ho?i chuye^.n mo^.t ngu+o+`i no^.p ddo+n xin ca^'o dda^'t:
- Hi`, hi`, the^' anh co' quy' gia ddi`nh be^n ngoa.i kho^ng?
- o^`, co' chu+'! Ngu+o+`i kia no'i.
- The^'a anh thi'ch du`ng ddo^` ngoa.i hay ddo^` no^.i?
- o^`, ba'c ho?i la. va^.y, ca'i gi` ngoa.i ma` cha(?ng to^'t.
- o^`, va^.y hay qua'. The^' thi` to^i pha^n cho anh mie^'ng dda^'t o+? ngoa.i tha`nh nhe'.
Bo+?i no^.i tha`nh dda~ co' ngu+o+`i kha'c.

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Lo+'p 3

Mo^.t ca^.u ho.c sinh lo+'p 3 me^'n mo^.t co^ ba.n ho.c cu`ng lo+'p la('m ma` kho^ng da'm no'i
ra. Nhu+ng dde^? la^u kho^ng chi.u ddu+o+.c, mo^.t ho^m ca^.u dda'nh ba.o gu+?i cho co^ ba.n
mo^.t ma?nh gia^'y ghi: "Ba.n o+i, mi`nh me^'n ba.n la('m. Chie^`u nay chu'ng mi`nh ra
co^ng vie^n ho^n nhau nhe'". 
Ca^.u tu+'c kha('c nha^.n ddu+o+.c mo^.t ma?nh gia^'y tu+o+ng tu+. tu+` phi'a co^ ba.n. DDa'p la.i su+.
ho^`i ho^.p cu?a ca^.u, tre^n ddo' ghi:"Ne^'u ra co^ng vie^n chi? dde^? ho^n nhau thi` ba.n
xuo^'ng lo+'p 2 ma` ho.c".
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Thi tin ho.c o+? Nghe^. ti~nh

Chuye^.n thu+' nha^'t:
Trong pha^`n gia?ng da.y ve^` WinWord, gia?ng vie^n tri`nh ba`y ve^` ti'nh na(ng
Revision va` hu+o+'ng da^~n ca'ch tri`nh duye^.t va(n ba?n qua ma.ng. Ca'c ca'n bo^. Co^ng
ty ra^'t ta^m dda('c vo+'i ti'nh na(ng na`y. Mo^.t dd/c tru+o+?ng pho`ng dda~ pha't bie^?u:
"The^' na`y thi` hay qua'! tu+` nay tri`nh duye^.t ddo+~ pha?i ga(.p la~nh dda.o"
Ca? Gia'm ddo^'c va` ca'c pho' gia'm ddo^'c ngo^`i ngay ba`n dda^`u cu+' tro`n xoe ca? ma('t. O^.
hay, hoa' ra tu+` tru+o+'c dde^'n gio+` no' ga(.p mi`nh toa`n la` mie^~n cu+o+~ng???

Chuye^.n thu+' hai:
Sau khi ho.c xong, ta^'t nhie^n la` pha?i thi cu+?. Gia'o vie^n cha^'m ba`i ra^'t co^ng
ba(`ng nhu+ng va^~n co`n mo^.t dd/c o+? Xi' nghie^.p Va^.n ta?i go.i ddie^.n le^n khie^'u na.i ve^`
ddie^?m. Ly' do: Mo^.t so^' ngu+o+`i kha'c tuy ho.c ke'm tu+o+ng ddu+o+ng nhu+ng ddie^?m la.i
cao ho+n vi` trong qua' tri`nh thi anh kho^ng ddu+o+.c ai la`m ba`i ho^., trong khi
nhie^`u ngu+o+`i kha'c ddu+o+.c nha('c ba`i nhie^`u ho+n.

Chuye^.n thu+'  3:
	Co' mo^.t anh cha`ng ho.c vie^n tin ho.c o+? co^ng ty xa(ng da^`u Nghe^. ti~nh ,ddang
nu+~a dde^m bo^~ng nhie^n bi. vo+. du+.ng da^.y :" a`! tu+` tru+o+'c dde^'n nay anh ddi vo+'i con
na`o, ma` dde^m na`o cu~ng na(`m mo+ la^?m ba^?m : thay-bo^`, thay -bo^`, chuye^'n na`y he^'t
cho^'i ca~i vo+'i ba` nhe' " . Anh cha`ng ho^'t hoa?ng cha(?ng hie^?u dda^`u dduo^i gi` -
thu+.c lo`ng anh cha(?ng co' bo^` na`o ca? - cha(?ng qua la` anh qua' nha^.p ta^m lo+`i
tha^`y tin ho.c da.y ve^` ke? ba?ng bie^?u - Mong muo^'n nho+` anh Long hoa(.c anh Nam
dde^'n gia?i thi'ch ho^. ( chu' y' ddu+`ng dde^? co^ gia'o dde^'n thi` ca`ng gay to-)

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Tu+` thie^.n

Cho^`ng: Anh mo+'i gia nha^.p ho^.i tu+` thie^.n dda^'y em a.. Va^.y ba^y gio+` chu'ng ta pha?i
ne^n tho^ng ca?m vo+'i nhu+ng ngu+o+`i co' khuye^'t ta^.t.

Vo+.: Va^ng, sa'ng nay co' mo^.t anh ddeo ki'nh cu+' o^m la^'y em ma` ho^n. Em nghi~ anh
a^'y bi. ca^.n co' the^? nhi`n nha^`m la^~n ne^n kho^ng ba?o sao

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Lie^.t to^? lie^.t to^ng
O^.ng no^.i o+? nha` tro^ng tha(`ng cha'u ba tuo^?i. Mu`a he` no'ng nu+.c, o^ng cu. ddi ta('m.
Ta('m xong, mo+'i pha't hie^.n la` kho^ng chua^?n bi. qua^`n a'o dde^? thay. Cu. cu+' dde^? va^.y
ddi tu+` nha` ta('m le^n dde^? la^'y qua^`n a'o. Kho^ng may tha(`ng cha'u ddang ngo^`i cho+i o+?
ddo'. Tha^'y o^ng ddi qua, no' mo+'i chi? tay ho?i:
 - O^.ng o+i! Ca'i gi` dda^y ha? o^ng?
 - Lie^.t to^? lie^.t to^ng nha` ma`y dda^'y. Ma`y kho^ng nha^.n ra a` cha'u.

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Hello


Mo^.t chu' be' Vie^.t Nam ddang cho+i trong co^ng vie^n, cho+.t tha^'y mo^.t chu' be' Ta^y
ddi ngang qua. Chu' ta nhanh nha?u cha`o:
- Hello, what's your name ?
Chu' be' Ta^y ca('m co^? ddi tha(?ng. Chu' be' ta tu+'c qua' chu+?i:
- Tie^n su+ cha ma`y.
Chu' Ta^y ddu+'ng ngay la.i va` ho?i:
- What's your name ?
Chu' ta su+o+'ng qua', hi' hu+?ng dda'p:
- My name is XXX.
Chu' Ta^y no'i:
- Tie^n su+ cha tha(`ng XXX.
Ro^`i ca('m dda^`u ddi tha(?ng.

(Ba'o Hoa Ho.c tro`)

-----------------------
Quay

Tha^`y hie^.u tru+o+?ng tru+o`ng Y ho?i 1 gia'o vie^n :
 - Co' mo^.t ho.c sinh khie^'u na.i anh xu+? oan ca^.u ta trong ky` thi vu+`a ro^`i. So^'
ba'o danh 223, ca^.u ta no'i kho^ng he^` su+? du.ng ta`i lie^.u trong khi tra? lo+`i  a^u
ho?i cu?a anh.
+ Cha('c cha('n to^i kho^ng nha^`m, ca^.u ta co' su+? du.ng ta`i lie^.u.
- Anh co' the^? no'i ro~ ho+n kho^ng ?
+ To^i ho?i "con ngu+o+`i bi`nh thu+o+`ng co' bao nhie^u xu+o+ng su+o+`n ?" va` ca^.u ta
ve'n a'o le^n dde^'m.Anh thu+? nghi~ xem, chuye^.n gi` se~ xa?y ra ne^'u to^i ho?i thi 1
nu+~ sinh vie^n khoa sa?n ?
- Tha^.t la` kinh khu?ng !
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Mua a'o

Mo^.t chi. ho+'t ha?i cha.y la.i mo^.t qua^`y ba'n ddo^` da`nh cho Phu. nu+~, va` ho^?n he^?n no'i
vo+'i co^ ba'n ha`ng:
- Co^ ba'n cho to^i mo^.t ca'i mu't dde^.m a'o con.
- Em chi? ba'n ca? ddo^i chu+' kho^ng ba'n mo^.t ca'i. Chi. mua dde^? ma(.c a'o da`i a`, thi`
pha?i  mua ca? chu+'!?
- Kho^? qua', tho^i ca? ddo^i cu~ng ddu+o+.c, nhanh le^n, to^i ddang lo.c do+? no^`i ru+o+.u.

--------------------------
Bu+o+'ng

  DDa.o die^~n ma('ng mo^.t die^~n vie^n ddo'ng vai ca^m ddie^'c:
- To^i dda~ ho^ ngu+`ng quay , sao anh va^~n cu+' die^~n ?
- DDa~ go.i la` "DDie^'c" thi` nghe tha^'y sao ddu+o+.c ?
- Va^.y dda~ ca^m sao anh la.i ca~i to^i ?
 
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Co' gi` ma` lo 

- Mi`nh chi.u ca^.u tha^.t dda^'y, ai ddo+`i xe ho?ng ca? phanh tru+o+'c la^~n phanh sau ma`
va^~n cu+' ung dung ddi nhu+ kho^ng! 

- Co' gi` ma` lo! Mi`nh xem tu+? vi, ngu+o+`i ta no'i so^' mi`nh tho. dde^'n 80 tuo^?i co+
ma`!

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"Anh trai" 

Ba` chu? ho?i mo^.t nu+~ sinh vie^n thue^ nha`: 

- Ta.i sao anh trai co^ da.o na`y kho^ng tha^'y dde^'n tha(m co^ nu+~a? 

- Vi` anh ta dda~ ti`m ddu+o+.c mo^.t ngu+o+`i em ga'i kha'c! 
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Tie^?u pha^?m

Khi chu'ng to^i do.n dde^'n mo^.t ca(n ho^. o+? la^`u sa'u, to^i nghi~ dda^y la` co+ ho^.i to^'t
dde^? ta^.p cho mi`nh thon nho? la.i. Cu+' mo^~i chie^`u ddi la`m ve^`, to^i kho^ng du`ng
thang ma'y ma` ddi ca^`u thang le^n la^`u sa'u. Vie^.c ddi nhu+ the^' la`m ngu+o+`i kha'
no'ng, ne^n to^i thu+o+`ng co+?i a'o veste va` ca` va.t, va` khi ddi ddu+o+.c nu+?a cha(.ng
ddu+o+`ng, to^i ba('t dda^`u co+?i nu't a'o so+mi.

Mo^.t nga`y no., khi le^n to+'i la^`u ba, to^i ga(.p hai o^ng ba` lo+'n tuo^?i nhi`n to^i,
ho+i nga.c nhie^n. Khi to^i dda~ qua ma(.t ho., to^i nghe tie^'ng o^ng no'i vo+'i ba`:
- O^.i, nhu+~ng o^ng cho^`ng tre? thu+o+`ng hay no'ng vo^.i!

-----------------------------------
Kho^n

mo^.t anh cha`ng la'i xe cha.y tha(?ng va`o sa^n cu?a mo^.t ngu+o+`i no^ng da^n va` ho?i:
-con bo` mo^.ng gia` cu?a o^ng dda'ng gia' bao nhie^u?
ngu+o+`i no^ng da^n nghi~ da^y la't ro^i dda'p:
Anh la` nha^n vie^n thu thue^', hay anh muo^'n mua no' , hay la` no' vu+`a bi. xe ca'n
qua?

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Giu'p ddo+~


mo^.t ngu+o+`i tru+o+.t cha^n ro+i xuo^'ng vu+.c sa^u 2000m. May ma('n la` anh ta ba'm ddu+o+.c
mo^.t ca`nh ca^y mo.c ra tu+` mo^.t khe nu+'t. hoa?ng ho^'t , anh ta ba('t dda^`u ke^u cu+'u.
" co' ai o+? tre^n ddo' kho^ng?" anh ta ke^u le^n lie^n tu.c "co' ai o+? tre^n ddo'
kho^ng?"
Sai vai` gio+` co' ngu+o+`i tra? lo+`i "co', to^i o+? tre^n na`y, to^i co' the^? giu'p gi` cho
anh?"
"o^`, va^.y thi` o^ng la^'y mo^.t so+.i da^y va` cu+'u to^i"
"Ne^'u anh co' nie^`m tin thi` to^i co' the^? cu+'u ddu+o+.c anh, anh co' nie^`m tin
kho^ng?" ngu+o+`i dda`n o^ng no'i.
" co' co', to^i co' nie^`m tin" , anh thanh nie^n ga`o le^n , "nhu+ng o^ng la`m o+n
cu+'u to^i nhanh nhanh khong thi` to^i ro+i ma^'t"
" Ne^u anh co' nie^`m tin, ha~y la`m nhu+ to^i no'i se~ kho^ng la`m sao ca?: chi? ca^`n
buo^ng ca`nh ca^y anh ddang ba'm ra la` mo.i chuye^.n se~ o^?n ca? tho^i"
Sau mo^.t phu't im la(.ng, anh thanh nie^n la.i ga`o le^n " Co' ai kha'c o+? tre^n ddo'
kho^ng?"

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mo^.t o^ng bo^' cuo^'ng quy't go.i die^.n dde^'n cho ba'c si~ : 
-xin ba'c si~ ha~y dde^'n ngay, cha'u be' nha` to^i vu+`a nuo^'t pha?i ca^y bu't bi
-Khoa?ng 20 phu't nu+~ to^i se~ dde^'n. ba'c si~ tra? lo+`i.
- the' to^i pha?i la`m gi` trong lu'c ddo'.?
- Ha~y su+? du.ng mo^.t ca^y bu't bi kha'c.   ba'c si~ no'i.