ARE YOU DEPRIVED ... Then you haven't experienced The Nipple Erectors, the band where Punk meets Ted and lives. Source: Sounds Date: May 13, 1978 Author: Ruth Putrid Copywrite: © Sounds 1978 Stimulating. That would have been the most apt, overall description of the Nipple Erectors if it wasn't for the fact that things are pretty quiet in their house at the moment. In between rehersals and the odd gig now and then things drag on. (They must do if they all know how to paint along with Nancy Komonski). Not being with an agency, it's even harder to get gigs. The bright spot on the horizon though is their forthcoming single on the newly formed Soho label. Ah, stimulating - a little more so after we adjourned to the local and it was possible to make some sense of the minimal grunts received. There are, for the moment anyway, only three Nipple Erectors. They have a problem with drummers - their last one has just left to join the ranks (actually it's only about three) of other ex-Erectors. Obviously there is some confusion in the compatible chemistry of drumming and nipple erecting. You have to have that certain 'je ne sais quoi' to be a real Nipple Erector. Shane ("My favourite thing other than me is my mirror"), Roger ("I'd prefer not to talk about my s*x life") and Shanne ("I even like Maggie Thatcher because she reminds me of a housewife") are the three Erectors. Musically, they're a combination of sounds from the 50's and 70's. Shane ("alright I'll admit I wrote for 'Bondage' fanzine once") the vocalist is very much an admirer of the heroes of the '50s, which is borne out in his stage act. A disappointed hopeful for the Apollo space missions, he's resigned to the fact that he'll just have to live with being a rock star. "If I don't make any money, I'm gonna wanna know why." He spends most of his time in front of a mirror cultivating a quiff, sadly the worse off from an over-generous dose of brilliantine, the rest of which is kept in his pocket, in a bottle that is. Having indulged in underwear sniffin' (preferably his own) he's now seeking out the higher virtues of tattoed, hairy chested females. Roger, usually on guitar, is obviously the intellectual 'creme de la creme' type of the band, astounding one and all with his intermittent quips on the myriad facets of human existence and his pursuit of the more truthful and sincere elements of our society. An ex-art student, he's been with the Erectors since they began about a year ago, and it's under his a Shanne, the bassist' influence that the more 70's feel has come about. It was Shanne who originally formed the band, all from London (she adopted the name too). In the beginning they had a very raw feel to their music, basically because they hadn't anything else. Since their first gig on an audition night at the Roxy, they've been able to develop into a more comfortable style and express each of their individual musical traits more confidently. If there was ever such a thing as Teds v. Punks then this band is a clever compromise of the better aspects of both. Although they have only played comparatively few gigs they do have at least three fans (excluding themselves). ("I think they're fucking great, and if you see the Don Letts movie, Shane is the one in the Union Jack" - courtesyof Chrissie Hynde.) The other two were unavailable for comment. Back to the interview (you could have fooled me), the train of discussion got rather blurred to say the least. Now and then we'd debate such delicacies as the social advantages of psychadelic underwear (again), Donna Summers' greatest hits (the pros and cons of) and other highly engrossing and topical subjects. Shane: "I hate art students... I hate people who think I'm arty." Roger: "I hate people without a sense of self realisation... I like 'Werewolves of London Town'." (Warren Zevon's that is.) "We all hate Watneys and Trumans but Tuborg Gold is alright." We all jovially agree that 'King Creole' was a good 'un. Shane ("I'm going to be the next big thing"), yes we do like your King Creole replica pocket mirror. (We were forced to see it and discuss its relative merits, although it's cracked, and we all know why.) And so it went on... Before you read any more, I think I ought to tell you that this is a Government Health Warning and that this is a high tar article. There is no truth in the allegation that this interview is either factual or informative and any resemblance to beings living, dead or otherwise is purely a colossal misprint. Finally and without fear of recriminations, I can unequivocably recommend that you see this band, preferably live, because if nothing else, they're doing something no-one else is doing. (You can stop the blackmail calls now.) And then again, you may even enjoy it. Did Roger or didn't he, that is the question - answers on a post-card please to... RUTH PUTRID